- Tonight on Smackdown: Rey Misterio vs Batista in a family friendly cage! This should be...something!
- Smackdown opens with a recap of the no contest from last week at the hands of Undertaker's special effects.
- Smackdown opening video.
- Is the big "X" on the Smackdown logo in reference to "ten years", I guess? I notice the WWE cage doesn't look like a red toy cage, at least.
- Undertaker IS on hand tonight.
CHRIS JERICHO vs JOHN MORRISON
- Oh, sweet Jesus. We're opening with THIS?! Talk about setting the bar high. Jericho's face is painted up to sell the Tyson punch. Audio on the Tyson punch recap is sweetened to make the hit sound harder. Jericho's selling the swollen mouth well during the promo. He's not giving up on his efforts to get on Raw...so he's the new Chavo. Great. Morrison is here! Slo-Mo Intro! Morrison Bret Hart's his glasses. Is the crowd dead, or the audio bad? Nice! Morrison slaps Jericho in the bruise! Awesome. NO! DREW MCINTYRE! Dammit! I want this match!! We head to commercials as McIntyre heads to the ring.
- Morrison in control. McIntyre's at ringside, but not on commentary. Morrison with a Flying Chuck, but Jericho throws him over the top rope! Jericho on the attack. Striker talks about Jericho recording all WWE programming to study his opponents. Huge knee by Morrison! Jericho covers his face so Morrison goes to the body. Lionsault misses, Flying Chuck hits! Only two. Kick blocked...Walls of Jericho...Morrison flips out! Jericho charges and hits the corner! Starship Pain? Jericho moves! Morrison lands on his feet! Walls again...victory roll by Morrison! Moonlight Drive? Back to the Walls! He's got it! McIntyre stands...he's taunting Morrison! Morrison powering to the ropes! Morrison gets the ropes! Slugs Jericho! He's trying to get to McIntyre! CODEBREAKER!
Winner: CHRIS JERICHO via pinfall (CODEBREAKER)
- Jericho wins matches?
- McIntyre in the ring, taunting Morrison. Steps on his face! Very nice match.
- Either the crowd is dead or the crowd mics are dead.
- Crap...Punk's "saving" someone else...next.
- I haven't had enough sleep for this. Here's CM Punk and Luke Gallows. Punk's blabbing. I don't care. How family friendly is it to have the fans booing the only sober superstar? Why haven't they went after Slam Master J, since he was the one keeping Luke on meds? Luke's a decent mic worker. Pleasant surprise. I miss Muhammad Hassan. Teehee...the plant got in the ring like a girl. Crowd is trashing the guy for going along with Punk. I don't get it...what's the bald thing have to do with the straight edge thing? Another boring, aimless segment. Can we get to the point? KHALI?!? Matt Hardy?!?!
#1 Contenders Match
CM PUNK & LUKE GALLOWS vs GREAT KHALI & MATT HARDY (w/RANJIN SINGH) vs CRYME TYME vs THE HART DYNASTY (w/NATALYA)
- Well, that second team is REALLY random. Hm...no jobber entrances tonight. Interesting. I'm positive that one of the two heel teams has to win this. Smith and Hardy to start. Smith hammering Hardy. Falling sleeper and tag to Khali! Khali clotheslines Smith to the floor! Things getting ugly on the floor as they head to a break.
- We return with Gallows and Khali standing offf! Slap by Gallows! Khali clothesline! Brain Chop! JTG with a bling tag on Khali! Gallows gains control and tags Punk. JTG gets the upperhand, but Tyson Kidd and Gallows with the save! Khali dumps them! Smith and Shad dump Khali! Hart throws Shad out...and Khali yanks Smith out! Hardy off the top on the whole pile! JTG blocks the GTS! Gallows blind tag! 12th STEP on JTG!
Winners: CM PUNK & LUKE GALLOWS via pinfall on JTG (12th STEP)
- Did someone hack my Extreme Warfare? Trevor, the plant from earlier, enters the ring and raises Punk and Gallows hands.
- Josh Matthews gets Batista out of his locker room, who doesn't want to talk about Rey or The Undertaker. That was such a bad segment. Undertaker speaks...NEXT.
- He IS actually here! Undertaker slowly heading to the ring. Eerie blue light for the promo. Undertaker says he will destroy whoever wins in the cage match. Addressing Shawn Michaels and Wrestlemania now. Undertaker is forgetting that he's faced Kane twice at Wrestlemania, making Shawn's request for a rematch sound like its unheard of. Undertaker is going to Raw to confront HBK! Question: What if Undertaker agrees to the match, but someone wins the Rumble and wants to challenge him for the World title? Just saying.
MICKIE JAMES vs BETH PHOENIX
- Beth looks ticked. Mickie looks cocky. Ref gets between them so there's no false start. Striker is killing Todd's abuse of grammar. Beth overpowers Mickie. Just brutalizing her now. Huge kick. Umaga butt crush! Beth dominating. Chinlock. Mickie is fighting up. Side backbreaker! Mickie can't get going. Mickie dropkicks the knee out! Big kick to Beth! Hotshot by Beth! Scoop up...charge into corner! Tree of Woe! Beth gets DQed for brutalizing Mickie! McCool and Layla tried to sneak in, but Beth saw them! Beth walks away and they are brutalizing Mickie! HA! Layla accidentally pulled Mickie out of the way! Mickie fights back, but McCool with a chop block! Mickie fights back AGAIN...but collapses. Styles Clash!
Winner: MICKIE JAMES via DQ
- Hm...this angle is still intriguing. The one story that has me truly curious where its going week to week.
KANE vs DOLPH ZIGGLER
- Hm. I just noticed that Teddy Long and Vickie Guerrero have both been completely absent. Matthews is backstage with Dolph, who is feeling cocky. Dolph LOOKS less cocky out here. Striker with a history of the sleeper hold. Dolph tries to stick and move but Kane gets ahold of him! Kane hammering Ziggler in the corner! Toss up and drop! Ziggler tries to fight back with no effect. Kane stalking Dolph. Elbowdrop. Another! Kane choking Dolph in the ropes. Dolph debuted two years ago? Really? Sleeper hold! Kane sends him right over the top rope! Commercials.
- Dolph with a chinlock. During the break Dolph used the ringpost and ringsteps to wear Kane down. Neck snap. Only gets a one count! Laying into Kane now, who is covering up. Big dropkick brings Kane down. Another chinlock on Kane. Crowd getting behind Kane. GOOOZLE! Dolph's in the ropes! Runs into a boot! Big shot! Kills Dolphs with two clotheslines! Scoop...slam! Kickout! Kane's going up...Dolph cuts him off! He's climbing! Kane headbutts him off! Dolph bails! Kane has to chase him! Dolph into the apron! Kane follows him on...Dolph with a huge kick! Dropkicked Kane to the floor! Sleeper on the floor! Kane is ramming him into the ringpost! Kane barely breaks the count! Up top! Dolph moves! FAMEASSER! Kickout! ZIGZAG caught! CHOKESLAM!!! THATS IT!
Winner: KANE via pinfall (CHOKESLAM
- GREAT match. Dolph brings out the best in Kane. That was awesome. Their little series was great. Now let Dolph lay low, then cost Kane the Rumble.
- Cena Fiesta Bowl video.
- Rey is WALKING. Faces are wishing him luck. Josh Matthews here for some final thoughts. Rey is cautiously optimistic. The cage is LOWERING.
#1 Contender's Steel Cage Match
REY MISTERIO vs BATISTA
- Rey climbs over the top to get in, but Batista enters through the door. Batista is pleased. Rey isn't running, but he's not hurting Batista. My God! He's almost up the cage already! Batista catches him and powers him around the ring. Rey tries a cross body and Batista catches him...Rey slips down! Takes out the legs! Batista in position...Rey can't do the 619! I'd dropkick him in the back of the head, myself...but nice bit. Batista charges...drop toe hold again...Rey runs up his back and is almost out of the cage! Batista catches him! Nice booking. Powerbomb? Rey drops down...Batista gets him by the head and launches him into the cage! Seriously...all these tattoos disgust me. Crowd chanting "619", completely missing the point of the earlier booking. Gorilla press into the cage! He tries again, but Rey holds on and climbs! Rey off the top with a version of the West Coast Pop! Runs into Batista's boot! Batista spears...the cage! Rey is pummeling Batista! sitdown dropkick! Kickout! Rey lunges at Batista, gets caught, small package! Batista back in control. Striker thinks Rey is demoralized. Sizing up another spear! He hits! Spinebuster! Push ups! Flexing! He's calling for the Batista Bomb! Rey is crawling for the door! He lets Rey get out the door, then yanks him back in! Batista Bomb...Rey grabs the cage! Kicking Batista off! He's over the cage! Batista goes for the door! Rey kicks the door in Batista's face! Rey hits the floor!
Winner: REY MISTERIO via Cage Escape
- I'm not a huge fan of either guy, but that was a very well booked cage. Three good matches, one hot angle (Divas)...MUCH better show than last week.