I didn't cover last week's Raw, (or any of last week's shows) but it did have some nice segments, including The Undertaker confronting Vince McMahon and Shawn Michaels about Bret Hart and the Royal Rumble respectively. Kofi Kingston and John Cena teamed up to defeat Legacy in a nice match, and HBK and HHH had some dissension over the Royal Rumble. DX still has not acknowledged that CM Punk and Luke Gallows are the #1 Contenders to the tag team titles, though.
- This week: Will Bret Hart return!?
- Guest host is some dude from Psych, because Cena is guest starring on their show. Apparently there was supposed to be two guys, but one needs an appendectomy. WWE is still claiming both will be here.
- DX is here! For a match? Jon Heder did a nice job last week as the heel Seth Green. Man...their intro takes forever. NICE! Hornswoggle is missing and HHH references it. HBK sent Hornswoggle home and gets booed. HBK and HHH having a stand-off about the Rumble. See, HHH wants the belt. HBK wants to face Undertaker at Wrestlemania again. Crowd is turning on HBK. HHH is cutting a great promo about the importance of the Royal Rumble. Very nice work. HHH says he will step on HBK's dream to get to his.
DX vs LEGACY
- I figure it had to be...there aren't any other tag teams on Raw. Both teams are falling apart...who falls apart first? DX is defending the belts against Punk and Gallows this Friday. Title change? HHH goes for a quick Pedigree on Rhodes, but DiBiase yanks him out of the ring. "Breaking news" about the guest hosts after the break...
- Back from the break and Rhodes and HHH are down...hot tag to HBK. HBK is hitting his signature spots. One guest host is down. Scoop slam and HBK goes up for the elbow. Rhodes slips out of the ring...HBK dives onto Legacy! Rhodes neckbreaker as HBK enters the ring! DiBiase in and he's on fire. Legacy double team. SWEET dropkick by DiBiase. Neither team is showing any dissension. OW. DiBiase just booted HBK in the head. Rhodes suckerpunches HHH and gets backdropped...but HBK can't tag! DiBiase with the Million Dollar Dream...HBK flying mares him out of it! Superkick? No, too low...HHH is in! Knee based offense! HHH destroys both men. Pedrigree on Rhodes? Blind tag! HHH and HBK having a stand off! Rhodes shoves HHH into HBK! Shawn goes to superkick Rhodes, catches DiBiase! HHH shoves HBK and nails Rhodes! Shawn gets the pin.
Winners: DX via pinfall (Superkick on DiBiase)
- Not bad...both teams showed some signs of breaking. Looks like Punk and Gallows will be winning the belts when DX dissolves this week.
- Sneak peek of the Cena on Psyche episode.
- MVP vs Big Show...NEXT!
- Last week, Big Show knocked out MVP when MVP was trying to get at The Miz.
MONTEL VONTAVIOUS PORTER vs BIG SHOW
- GAH. I don't need to hear MVP on the mic. The Miz comes out before Big Show does. I hope The Miz beats MVP when they do face off. Ha! "I'm not sure what straight up ballin' is" Awesome. I can't tell if Miz has heave spray on tan, or its just weird lighting. Awwesome. Prison rape jokes. Here comes Show looking big and nasty. Have fun, MVP. Sticking and moving, but Show gets ahold of him and the murder commences. Big chop that makes no sound. Miz is still in the aisle. Drive By kick in the corner! He runs into a choke slam!
Winner: BIG SHOW via pinfall (Choke Slam)
- Miz is trash talking MVP, Big Show isn't impressed.
- Apparently McMahon makes another decision yet again about Bret Hart tonight.
- Cody Rhodes sounds like such a sissy when he's acting all huffy. DiBiase is about to get in Cody's face when Orton interrupts. Orton's trying to play peacemaker...wait, no...he's bagging them out for losing to DX and not saving him from Sheamus. This stable is still such a charisma void.
- Cena is backstage with Dulay Hill, of Psych. Pimping Psych. Chris Jericho at the door? No, The Miz. HA! "I had to google your name to know who you are." The Miz is tremendous. Hill is putting The Miz in a match against a mystery opponent.
Divas Tournament Semifinal
MARYSE vs EVE TORRES
- UGH. Maryse is talking, too?!? Seriously...she's SO BAD in EVERY way. Now, the Mickie James segment from Friday was great. Pyros erupt, interrupting Maryse. NICE! Dulay Hill is in the pyro booth. His mic skills blow hers away. Here comes Eve...who, according to the graphic, no longer has a last name. Eek...Gail Kim vs Alicia Fox will also be on tonight. PLEASE let Eve win. She won't, but that would be great. This is off to a bad start. Eve did dropkick a little better this week. Ungraceful senton by Eve. Eve iis dominating. Missed a moonsault! French Kiss blocked! Northern Lights release! Kick out at two. FRENCH KISS.
Winner: MARYSE via pinfall. (FRENCH KISS)
- Ugh. That matchh was UGLY. And I CAN'T STAND Maryse...have I mentioned that?
- Mr. McMahon is heading to the ring!
- Recap of Undertaker interrupting Vince last week. Vince burying WCW and Bret all at once. Huge "We Want Bret!" chant. Vince reaffirms the "Bret is never coming back" bit. Vince is claiming its all just business. I assuming he's going to plants now. Vince is in the crowd! Interviewing fans, about Bret. Claims he hasn't heard a good reason. CENA!!! Here comes John Cena! Cena is standing up for the legends! Cena pointing out the Vince needed the legends to become a billionaire. Kind of a risky angle what with Linda running for Senate. Good...but risky. Cena's demanding Bret come back next week. HA!!! Cena says that if Vince doesn't, he's going to find him on his 90th birthday and knock his teeth down his throat. God, Cena is awesome. Vince caves! He's inviting Bret back next week! But he's Crossed The Boss. Cena vs Sheamus! That's supposed to be punishment? Its not like Cena's scared of Sheamus. I hope like Hell we're not getting a Montreal angle tonight.
- Great segment, thanks - in no small part - to John Cena.
THE MIZ vs KOFI KINGSTON
- Eek. Not sure either man can afford a loss right here. Apparently both men are in the Rumble. Basic start but Kofi sped it up until Miz kicked his head in. Miz has him grounded. Miz and DiBiase use the same running kick. Tacky. Miz looking dominant. Kofi slides through the ropes with a kick! Splash across Miz' back! Double neckbreaker by Miz! MVP's music hits! TROUBLE IN PARADISE!
Winner: KOFI KINGSTON via pinfall (TROUBLE IN PARADISE)
- Here comes MVP to taunt Miz!
- Carlito takes the host to the production truck so Carlito can kiss up to him. Hill randomly books Carlito into a match with...Kelly Kelly? Carlito's going to wrestle in street clothes!
CARLITO vs KELLY KELLY
- Carlito gets the jobber entrance. SANTINO! Kelly's just really kinda gorgeous. Santino tells her not to take another step. He's pimping the Best of Raw 2009 DVD. Santino wants to be taken seriously! Santino is replacing Kelly Kelly! Jack Swagger wipes out Santino! Bait and switch! Swagger throws Santino over the top! He's chasing Santinto the floor...head into the post! Swagger doing push ups over Santino. Swagger steps on Santino to walk away. The crowd hatred is building through the segment.
- Well, at least Carlito didn't have to job to Kelly Kelly. Good for him.
- Royal Rumble video package. Good package...acknowledging the history of the Rumble.
- I won't be watching the Rumble, but I'll do a Rumble preview.
- Other Psych guy is on speaker phone. Alicia Fox walks in...weird to see her sharing camera time with Cena. She's kissing up to Hill. Hill's predicting an Alicia win, and he's going to be her good luck charm. Hill's kinda funny with Cena.
Divas Tournament Semifinal
GAIL KIM vs ALICIA FOX
- Wrestling booking logic says Kim HAS to win, so that Maryse can take on a face. Kim with the jobber intro...but that means nothing this time. Fox is largely dominating. Kim with a sweet powerslam! Kim with her...finisher!
Winner: GAIL KIM via pinfall (FALLING BOOT)
- Alicia is throwing a fit all over Hill.
- Sheamus is WALKING!
SHEAMUS vs JOHN CENA
- Good power match. Sheamus has come a long way in carrying himself like a store. Ended in a predictable Orton run-in, when he RKOed Sheamus.
Winner: SHEAMUS via DQ
- Orton tried to use the elevated DDT on Cena, but Cena countered with the Attitude Adjustment to end the show.
- Raw continues to be much better than Impact, and steadier than Smackdown right now. I think I'm going to start rewatching Rumbles, just because.