Alright...it's time for WWE Smackdown, and a #1 Contender's Match I don't want to see! As I end this week long experiment, I don't think it's going to happen again anytime soon. On one hand, I did enjoy it...on the other hand, that was 9 hours of wrestling with next to no fast forwarding.
- WWE intro video.
- I couldn't help but notice, reading other recaps, that the matches I liked were the ones the smarks on other sites hated, and so forth.
- Beat The Clock recap from last week. Batista was due to win, when Rey yanked the referee out of the ring. Vickie Guerrero overruled the finish and made a rematch for tonight, which will end in a double countout, double DQ, double pin or no contest, because I'm sure we're getting another triple threat.
- Batista...for a promo. I used to like this guy so much. Now? Not so much. Batista gets the Lex Luger spotlight. Batista giving a promo is not something I want to hear. BlahblahblahI've been screwedblahblahblah. Calling out Teddy Long...who is ignoring him. Rey answers instead. Shoot me. I can't STAND Rey. I can't stand him in the ring. I can't stand him on the mic. I haven't liked him for years...but the "Eddie" push just made me totally sick of him. This back and forth is awful. Rey, pointing out Batista is in street clothes, apparently doesn't grasp the concept of a "main event". ARGH. STOP DRAGGING THIS OUT! PLEASE.
- Just an awful "dueling promo". It is hard to express just how much I DON'T want to see this main event.
KANE vs DOLPH ZIGGLER
- This is a rematch from Dolph's strong showing last week in the Beat The Clock Challenge. Nice heat for a guy whose pushed has been killed. Zigggler sticking and moving. Kane catches him when he slides under and is killing him with punches. Kane will be back on ECW next week for the ECW Homecoming...as Todd Grisham is now pointing out. Nice. Kane with a side headlock...snap mare...seated dropkick! Gets two. Striker is a delight on commentary. Kane sets Ziggler up top...Ziggler fighrs as Kane goes up! Fights him off! Missile dropkick! Only gets one! Ziggler is all over Kane. Neckbreaker...blocked! Oh! He kicks the knee out and hits a DDT, but still only gets one. Remember when a DDT ended a match? Kane refusing to give more than a one. Hiptoss by Kane! But he charges into an elbow. Sleeper on Kane! Kane keeps crushing him. Ziggler with a tornado DDT but gets thrown off! Clothesline! Kills him with an irish whip...into a boot! Kickout! Side slam! Kane up top...clothesline! He's calling for the CHOKESLAM! Ziggler fights out! ZIGZAG! Kane kicks out! Ziggler is shocked! He goes back to the sleeper and grapevines Kane! Crowd firmly behind Kane! Kane fights up! They spill through the ropes! Ziggler holds it on! Kane can't shake him! Ziggler breaks the count at 8 and runs back in to beat Kane by countout!
Winner: DOLPH ZIGGLER via countout.
- Nice booking. Ziggler wins, Kane is ticked, Ziggler looks smart along the way. I approve.
- CM Punk is "saving" someone tonight...SIGH.
- Michelle McCool is trying to make nice with Beth...so Beth doesn't kill hher and Layla. Haha...Beth is gonna kill Layla tonight.
- Jericho is in the locker room with The Hardy Dynasty! He's talking himself up, they look skeptical. Jericho as mentor for The Hart Dynasty? David Hart Smith...heels out on Bret? Jericho seems pleased with their attitude.
- Ugh. R-Truth.
R-TRUTH & CRYME TYME vs CHRIS JERICHO & THE HART DYNASTY (w/NATALYA)
- At least they have found new ways to run Hart Dynasty vs Cryme Tyme. Poor Jericho. Poor, poor Jericho. R-Truth and Kidd to start...side headlock by Truth. Kidd slips around and hammers him. Ducks a leapfrog and runs into a dropkick by R-Truth! Flapjack by JTG and Truth! Shad in now to bully Kidd! Remember when Cryme Tyme were pushed as serious contenders to Jerishow? Truth back in. Kidd fights free and tags Jericho...who gets punked. Jericho looking like a complete goof here. Sigh. This is just depressing. Heading to a break.
- Jericho getting killed by Shad now. Smith hasn't been in, on camera at least. Gorilla press...and drop! He hits the ropes, but Smith yanks the top rope down! Natalya lays in a kick! Jericho goes after Shad...sends him back in. Jericho lays in the boots. Isolating Shad. Kidd in now, working Shad over. The heels are tearing Shad up. Kidd and Jericho doubleteaming Shad. Is Smith ever getting in? Will Jericho's "negative push" ever end? Kidd back in. Cuts off a comeback attempt. Good big man/little man dynamic here. Both men down...JTG and Jericho in! Still no Smith! JTG drops Jericho! Jericho is looking like crap here. Near fall on a roll up! JTG off the ropes! OLD SCHOOL WALLS! THAT LOOKS SICK! JTG TAPS!! MY GOD! MARKING OUT FOR THE OLD SCHOOL WALLS!!!
Winners: CHRIS JERICHO & THE HARDY DYNASTY via submission on JTG (WALLS OF JERICHO)
- CM Punk and Luke Gallows are walking to the ring.
- Here comes Gallows and Punk after the break. YAWN. Why does Punk look like a junkie? I am so bored by Punk. Bo-ring. Bo-ring. Bo-ring. Bo-ring. Punk and Gallows have picked a plant out of the audience to "save". This plant is named James. Apparently they are cutting his hair...for some reason. Why's he gotta shave the guy's head when Punk's a shaggy bastard? I miss the days when Punk didn't have a microphone. Oh...God...he's promising another one next week. That just guaranteed I won't be recapping next week.
- Matt Hardy vs Luke Gallows, next.
LUKE GALLOWS (w/CM PUNK) vs MATT HARDY
- Hardy will also be on ECW Tuesday. Crowd very much behind Matt. Gallows bowls him over with a shoulderblock. Irish whip and a huge elbow. Misses a legdrop! Hardy puts the boots in and kills the leg. Hardy works the leg on the ropes. Single leg takedown...Hardy unloads with punches. Gallows suplex on the top rope! Huge underhand shot! Hardy on the floor. Into the apron! Again! Into the ring...back suplex! Chicken wing. With grapevine! Hardy fights back. Sunset flip, but Gallows kicks him in the head! Pummeling Hardy! Big knee. Gallows pummels Hardy. Hardy with a sleeper neckbreaker. Clothesline avalanche but thrown off on a bulldog. Tornado DDT by Hardy! Punk causes a distraction, setting up the GALLOWS POLL.
Winner: LUKE GALLOWS via pinfall (GALLOWS POLL or 12 STEP)
- Blah.
- Teddy Long is backstage with Maria, hyping that she's on Celebrity Apprentice. Vickie Guerrero shows up...Long slams her pretty good. Mattel WWE action figure pimping...this is much funnier with Triple H. Nice...the WWE Spinner belt plays Cena's music. Man...Long is BITTER sounding. Great Khali is here...for more action figure fun. Khali calls her a cow.
BETH PHOENIX vs LAYLA
- Crowd is unsure how to react to Beth. Recap of last week where Beth killed Layla and Michelle, and then Mickie. Beth sure looed pleased with herself watching the recap. Layla is trying to do her intro sequence, but is scared as hell. Begging for mercy. Beeth kills her with a shoulderblock! Canadian Backbreaker...spinning! Dump to the mat and Layla bails! Beth is calling Michelle in! Michelle throws Layla in! Layla begs off and lays in with kicks...but Beth takes back over! Layla sticks and moves with kicks, but gets dumped. By the hair...GLAM SLAM! She does it nice and slow, leetting Layla sell it the whole way! Michelle looks distraught!
Winner: BETH PHOENIX via pinfall (GLAM SLAM)
- Michelle entered the ring and then begged off...Layla grabs the leg and McCool with a cheap shot! Two on one! Mickie James for the save! McCool gets the upper hand...Beth slams Layla into McCool! Beth stares at Mickie...MICK KICK! Revenge for last week! Crowd pops!
- Nice little angle developing.
- Tyson on Raw/Bret Hart recap.
- Josh Matthews backstage with Drew McIntyre. Recap from Morrison getting DQed last week after McIntyre shoved Morrison into the ref. McIntyre is acting mildly delusional. Morrison interrupts. This whole segment is kinda awkward. Love Morrison's "accent". Morrison bowing up...McIntyre is backing down. NICE! Morrison SNAPS on McIntyre!
#1 Contender's Match
REY MISTERIO vs BATISTA
- Is Undertaker gonna show tonight? Dude has the lightest schedule of a WWE Champion at least since Hogan. Can we go straight to the non-finish, please? Rey slips and slides early...but runs into Batista's arms and gets crushed. HUGE whip into the corner. Batista is stalking and taunting Rey. Beating him on the mat. Big backbreaker. Batista just dominating Rey right now. Another corner toss...right into Rey's feet! Rey off the ropes...Batista catches him! No, Rey whips him down for a 619...Batista bails! Rey dives on him...Batista rams him into the corner to set up a commercial break.
- Back with both men fighting on the ropes. Batista gets kicked off, but Rey's too hurt to capitalize...no! Frog splash! But both men ARE down. Double count. More fighting on the floor during the break. Rey ducks a clothesline but springboards into a slam. Huge spinebuster. Batista sets up a spear...BOOM. Flexing instead of finishing him. Giving the Thumbs Down. GONGS! UNDERTAKER! Batista is laid out! Undertaker couldn't be bothered to show up! Both men fighting up...Rey hammers Batista! Bulldog! Batista for a slam...but no, Rey drops him again! Dropkick into ropes! 619! GONGS! UNDERTAKER STILL ISN'T HERE! Rey is down now! Crowd is turning on this! Where's the reg? Gongs AGAIN. Fulll eentrance! Crowd is going nuts now! But...a complete non-finish. Not even a UT appearance. SIGH.
Winner: No Contest.
- What a BS show. The Divas and Morrison were the only things saving this piece of crap.
The Proof Is In the Fun
Saturday, January 9, 2010
Star Wars Saga: Gaming With My Son
Ran a real basic Star Wars Saga Edition scenario tonight for my son.
Anakin Blade, determined for the Jedi Sentinel path as determined by his Wookie master Goodloki, was called into his master's chambers. Goodloki told him that some children had disappeared, and he tasked Anakin with finding them. Anakin eagerly agreed, and set out to find the children.
He tracked their trail out to some nearby woods, where he saw a child's doll. Anakin used Force Track to try to pinpoint the kids, but found something dark and sinister instead. He followed it into the woods, where he stumbled onto an old, rundown installation guarded by a pair of battle droids! Anakin couldn't appease the droids, so he lashed out at them, using Surge to rush one of them and destroy it before it could react! The other took a shot at him, but Anakin slipped in and slashed him apart.
Anakin sized up the entryway, which was locked down. He tried to use the computer panel and failed, so he took his lightsaber to it...with little effect. Growing frustrated, he looked around the front of the base, finding a broken hole high up on the wall, and used Surge to leap all the way up the wall and into the building! He came to a rest down the hall from another battle droid! Anakin quickly used Draw Closer to suck it in, but he missed with his attack. The droid cried for help and another showed up! Anakin missed again, but the second droid accidentally shot the first one. Anakin charged the remaining droid and cut him down.
Anakin used Force Track again, and picked up a faint trail that he followed into the base's commander center, where he found a young man speaking with a hologram of Count Dooku! The man confirmed to Dooku that he was responsible for the kids' capture, and that one of them, a young girl, was very strong in the force. As Dooku signed off, the man turned, sensing Anakin behind him! Anakin, despite his Sentinel teachings, tried to parley, but the young man ignited a red lightsaber and said he would destroy the foolish little padawan...to which Anakin corrected him, that he was a big padawan! Anakin took his first wound here, strong enough to knock him down the damage track. He fought back, but the fallen Jedi was too good. Anakin took a glancing blow to the arm, then lashed out with a fierce attack. A second one led to the fallen Jedi deciding that he would retreat, and deal with Anakin when his superiors returned.
Fighting defensively, with a full +10 to his Reflex...was for nothing as Anakin rolled a natural 20 and struck the retreating Jedi down! As the Jedi died, Anakin felt hollow about the whole thing...deciding that he would much rather have taken the Jedi in than killed him. And that trying to bring him back from the Dark Side would have been a MUCH better idea.
Anakin searched the facility, finding the kids, and freed them from their prison. He put their fears at rest and returned them home, to the approval of Goodloki, who was very thoughtful about how he had nudged Anakin down the path of the Sentinel and the clear impact that his first encounter with a Dark Jedi had on him.
Notes: The “kid Jedi” game got nixed, as Angelus really wanted to play an older Jedi, so he wound up as a 16 year old. I'm still probably going to bring in the other two Jedi I had previously talked about. This whole thing was on the fly, as we literally made his character and launched into the game. My first time running Saga, so it had some bumps, but he was very enthusiastic, and I was stunned at his reaction when I told him the Dark Jedi was dead, from him being sad about it, to deciding that he doesn't really want to kill anything...but save them when he can, and imprison them when he can't. I was terribly proud of my boy. I thought it was a very good start.
Anakin Blade, determined for the Jedi Sentinel path as determined by his Wookie master Goodloki, was called into his master's chambers. Goodloki told him that some children had disappeared, and he tasked Anakin with finding them. Anakin eagerly agreed, and set out to find the children.
He tracked their trail out to some nearby woods, where he saw a child's doll. Anakin used Force Track to try to pinpoint the kids, but found something dark and sinister instead. He followed it into the woods, where he stumbled onto an old, rundown installation guarded by a pair of battle droids! Anakin couldn't appease the droids, so he lashed out at them, using Surge to rush one of them and destroy it before it could react! The other took a shot at him, but Anakin slipped in and slashed him apart.
Anakin sized up the entryway, which was locked down. He tried to use the computer panel and failed, so he took his lightsaber to it...with little effect. Growing frustrated, he looked around the front of the base, finding a broken hole high up on the wall, and used Surge to leap all the way up the wall and into the building! He came to a rest down the hall from another battle droid! Anakin quickly used Draw Closer to suck it in, but he missed with his attack. The droid cried for help and another showed up! Anakin missed again, but the second droid accidentally shot the first one. Anakin charged the remaining droid and cut him down.
Anakin used Force Track again, and picked up a faint trail that he followed into the base's commander center, where he found a young man speaking with a hologram of Count Dooku! The man confirmed to Dooku that he was responsible for the kids' capture, and that one of them, a young girl, was very strong in the force. As Dooku signed off, the man turned, sensing Anakin behind him! Anakin, despite his Sentinel teachings, tried to parley, but the young man ignited a red lightsaber and said he would destroy the foolish little padawan...to which Anakin corrected him, that he was a big padawan! Anakin took his first wound here, strong enough to knock him down the damage track. He fought back, but the fallen Jedi was too good. Anakin took a glancing blow to the arm, then lashed out with a fierce attack. A second one led to the fallen Jedi deciding that he would retreat, and deal with Anakin when his superiors returned.
Fighting defensively, with a full +10 to his Reflex...was for nothing as Anakin rolled a natural 20 and struck the retreating Jedi down! As the Jedi died, Anakin felt hollow about the whole thing...deciding that he would much rather have taken the Jedi in than killed him. And that trying to bring him back from the Dark Side would have been a MUCH better idea.
Anakin searched the facility, finding the kids, and freed them from their prison. He put their fears at rest and returned them home, to the approval of Goodloki, who was very thoughtful about how he had nudged Anakin down the path of the Sentinel and the clear impact that his first encounter with a Dark Jedi had on him.
Notes: The “kid Jedi” game got nixed, as Angelus really wanted to play an older Jedi, so he wound up as a 16 year old. I'm still probably going to bring in the other two Jedi I had previously talked about. This whole thing was on the fly, as we literally made his character and launched into the game. My first time running Saga, so it had some bumps, but he was very enthusiastic, and I was stunned at his reaction when I told him the Dark Jedi was dead, from him being sad about it, to deciding that he doesn't really want to kill anything...but save them when he can, and imprison them when he can't. I was terribly proud of my boy. I thought it was a very good start.
Friday, January 8, 2010
Tommy's Take on: Extreme, A Savage Setting
Extreme is a “freebie” setting for Savage Worlds, released by Black Orifice Games. It's a 10 page PDF designed as a rules mod, with a little bit of setting tacked on, to take Savage Worlds up that extra step or so to hit the high-octane, action movie genre.
The PDF is full-color with art, and is divided into three sections: An Introduction, a Player's Section and a GM's section. You can get it at http://www.webjam.com/the_black_orifice and right there on the front page in the downloads section. It requires the Savage Worlds Explorer's Edition, though you could probably run it with Pinnacle's free Test Drive rules in a pinch.
The Introduction is pretty straight-forward, spelling out the aim of the game as a fairly black and white world with no misunderstood villains but instead brutal drug cartels, child slavery rings, demented anarchists and the like. This is the world of Commando, Taken, Die Hard and Dirty Harry, pulp taken to its modern (non-superpowered) extreme.
The Player's Section
Character creation is first. Humans are the sole race allowed, but the major change is that this is the first setting that I have owned or read thus far in which all supernatural elements are stripped, meaning no Arcane Backgrounds. However, the setting adds some nice new Edges and Hindrances, such as Mistaken Identity (in which you resemble someone you wouldn't want to resemble) and Hard Target, which makes you harder to hit the more you move (for the guys who are wading through waves of mooks shooting at them). The setting adds Story Hooks, which are additional hindrances that must be usable in getting the character tied into the plot. Once that becomes apparent, said character's Wild Die gets upgraded to a d8 for the adventure as they become the Lead Character. This is a very nice rule, because they also count as regular hindrances, potentially giving Extreme characters an extra Edge up on the average Savage Worlds character.
The author helpfully provides a list of archetypes with sample builds, ranging from cops to nerds to honorable criminals, and survivalists, if you need the inspiration.
From there, the setting expands the tiers of Savage Worlds characters from Extras and Wildcards to Mooks, Ordinaries, Unnamed Wild Cards and Named Wild Cards. Ordinaries and Unnamed Wild Cards function as Extras and Wild Cards in the Savage Worlds rules. Mooks are Extras distilled down to a single trait die, and they lose even the ability to become Shaken. Named Wild Cards are Wild Cards with Plot Immunity – That is, they only die in a big death scene, not just at the end of a random combat.
There are other rules tweaks, my favorite being that when you use a bennie to become Unshaken, you have an “adrenaline surge” and ignore all Wound penalties that round.
GM's Section
The GM section begins with an article about gaming in the genre, warning you against placing your PCs in morally grey areas. Some might complain that this is too simplistic. I disagree, as there are a great many games, within Savage Worlds and without, that do Shades of Grey by default. Not a thing wrong with this one discouraging that, in my opinion.
The setting steers the GM towards having a single Lead Character per story, which means that a background hook from that character is what is being used to propel the plot, giving them a d8 Wild Die as mentioned above. This is less constraining than your typical “lead guy/back-up” campaign set-up (like with, say, Buffy the Vampire Slayer) because if you play multiple adventures, then everyone can have a “turn” as the Lead.
The “setting” part mostly comes in the form of premade antagonists, such as a shadowy government organization, a charismatic arms dealer, a brutal crime cartel, and a super secret conspiracy that is secretly behind all of them, providing a nice hook if you chose to string together a multi-”movie” campaign.
The document ends with sample trait listings for mooks, as well as a handful of sample NPC villain write-ups.
Conclusion
A very nice rules mod. I caught a typo or two, and I don't understand why there had to be a new name for Extras. The art is nothing to get excited about, but I've paid for products that had way worse, and there's only about three pieces...the PDF is pretty full of text.
I enjoyed this. I could see having some over the top, tongue in cheek fun with this, even in a “multi-picture” campaign...where I would recommend a bare minimum of 5 xp per adventure (to ensure an advance after each one). Black Orifice has hinted at more free settings to come...I'll definitely keep my eye open after this.
The PDF is full-color with art, and is divided into three sections: An Introduction, a Player's Section and a GM's section. You can get it at http://www.webjam.com/the_black_orifice and right there on the front page in the downloads section. It requires the Savage Worlds Explorer's Edition, though you could probably run it with Pinnacle's free Test Drive rules in a pinch.
The Introduction is pretty straight-forward, spelling out the aim of the game as a fairly black and white world with no misunderstood villains but instead brutal drug cartels, child slavery rings, demented anarchists and the like. This is the world of Commando, Taken, Die Hard and Dirty Harry, pulp taken to its modern (non-superpowered) extreme.
The Player's Section
Character creation is first. Humans are the sole race allowed, but the major change is that this is the first setting that I have owned or read thus far in which all supernatural elements are stripped, meaning no Arcane Backgrounds. However, the setting adds some nice new Edges and Hindrances, such as Mistaken Identity (in which you resemble someone you wouldn't want to resemble) and Hard Target, which makes you harder to hit the more you move (for the guys who are wading through waves of mooks shooting at them). The setting adds Story Hooks, which are additional hindrances that must be usable in getting the character tied into the plot. Once that becomes apparent, said character's Wild Die gets upgraded to a d8 for the adventure as they become the Lead Character. This is a very nice rule, because they also count as regular hindrances, potentially giving Extreme characters an extra Edge up on the average Savage Worlds character.
The author helpfully provides a list of archetypes with sample builds, ranging from cops to nerds to honorable criminals, and survivalists, if you need the inspiration.
From there, the setting expands the tiers of Savage Worlds characters from Extras and Wildcards to Mooks, Ordinaries, Unnamed Wild Cards and Named Wild Cards. Ordinaries and Unnamed Wild Cards function as Extras and Wild Cards in the Savage Worlds rules. Mooks are Extras distilled down to a single trait die, and they lose even the ability to become Shaken. Named Wild Cards are Wild Cards with Plot Immunity – That is, they only die in a big death scene, not just at the end of a random combat.
There are other rules tweaks, my favorite being that when you use a bennie to become Unshaken, you have an “adrenaline surge” and ignore all Wound penalties that round.
GM's Section
The GM section begins with an article about gaming in the genre, warning you against placing your PCs in morally grey areas. Some might complain that this is too simplistic. I disagree, as there are a great many games, within Savage Worlds and without, that do Shades of Grey by default. Not a thing wrong with this one discouraging that, in my opinion.
The setting steers the GM towards having a single Lead Character per story, which means that a background hook from that character is what is being used to propel the plot, giving them a d8 Wild Die as mentioned above. This is less constraining than your typical “lead guy/back-up” campaign set-up (like with, say, Buffy the Vampire Slayer) because if you play multiple adventures, then everyone can have a “turn” as the Lead.
The “setting” part mostly comes in the form of premade antagonists, such as a shadowy government organization, a charismatic arms dealer, a brutal crime cartel, and a super secret conspiracy that is secretly behind all of them, providing a nice hook if you chose to string together a multi-”movie” campaign.
The document ends with sample trait listings for mooks, as well as a handful of sample NPC villain write-ups.
Conclusion
A very nice rules mod. I caught a typo or two, and I don't understand why there had to be a new name for Extras. The art is nothing to get excited about, but I've paid for products that had way worse, and there's only about three pieces...the PDF is pretty full of text.
I enjoyed this. I could see having some over the top, tongue in cheek fun with this, even in a “multi-picture” campaign...where I would recommend a bare minimum of 5 xp per adventure (to ensure an advance after each one). Black Orifice has hinted at more free settings to come...I'll definitely keep my eye open after this.
Savage Ravenloft: Gnomes
Continuing the Savage Ravenloft series...now we hit the final Ravenloft race not available in the Fantasy Companion: Gnomes. These Gnomes were created by Ron Blessing of http://www.thegamesthething.com
Gnome
Gnomes tend to be spindly humanoids with tanned skin, fair hair and blue eyes. Gnomes often wear bright colors and gaudy jewelry. Gnomes make great court jesters as they have a knack for humor and storytelling, though in Ravenloft this can tend toward the macabre.
*Jovial: Gnomes are boisterous and cheerful, making it very hard to dislike them. They have a +2 to Charisma.
*Short: Gnomes average 4' tall. They are Size -1 and cannot take the Small Hindrance.
*Tinker: Gnomes are naturally attracted to inventing and, well, tinkering. They begin play with a d6 Repair skill.
With races complete, next time I'll delve into just how The Land of Dread changes some of the Edges your characters may possess.
Gnome
Gnomes tend to be spindly humanoids with tanned skin, fair hair and blue eyes. Gnomes often wear bright colors and gaudy jewelry. Gnomes make great court jesters as they have a knack for humor and storytelling, though in Ravenloft this can tend toward the macabre.
*Jovial: Gnomes are boisterous and cheerful, making it very hard to dislike them. They have a +2 to Charisma.
*Short: Gnomes average 4' tall. They are Size -1 and cannot take the Small Hindrance.
*Tinker: Gnomes are naturally attracted to inventing and, well, tinkering. They begin play with a d6 Repair skill.
With races complete, next time I'll delve into just how The Land of Dread changes some of the Edges your characters may possess.
Tommy's Take on: WWE Superstars 1/7/10
- Alright...WWE Superstars! WWE Superstars is the "fourth" show, a tri-branded show generally featuring no storylines, just a match or so from each brand. Sometimes its all jobber squashes and sometimes its some surprisingly good little matches. I generally like it, depending on the performers showcased.
- Tri-branded opener...featuring guys who don't usually show up on Superstars.
- Michael Cole starts us off...so it's Raw for the opener.
Divas Title Tournament Match
JILLIAN vs GAIL KIM
- When did Jillian lose her last name? I have never noticed it. Awesome. She's getting her singing gimmick in. Two time Divas champion? When was she a Divas champion? Butchering Black Eyed Peas. My daughter just clutched her ears and hid behind me. Gail Kim is the definition of overrated. "I heard Jillian wasn't going to sing because of throat problems." "Oh, really?" "The audience threatened to cut it." Nice, Jerry. Make sure that one gets into the next video game. No blown spots yet. Wow. Gail hasn't looked this good in months. Jillian killing her on the floor. This is already WAY better than Raw, but Vince isn't in love with either one of these two. Nice power on a sideslam by Jillian. Power corner whip. Jillian counting along with the ref on a hair pull. Crowd's actually getting behind Kim out of a half nelson. Wow...this is pretty good. Best Divas match I've seen in a bit. Gail holds onto the bottom rope...Victory roll! Gail wins!
Winner: GAIL KIM via pinfall (VICTORY ROLL)
- Nice match! Jillian looked strong and Gail showcased her athleticism. Will Gail face Maryse in the finals, or will Kelly Kelly?
- Finlay vs Mike Know later on for Smackdown!
- Note that I was not excited, I just think I'm supposed to add the "!" for Smackdown!
TED DIBIASE vs CHRIS MASTERS (w/Eve)
- I liked the Masters heel music better. Masters as a face is so weird. Crowd was dead for DiBiase. Weird that a guy who should be higher up the card like DiBiase has to wait on Masters. Crowd's kinda behind Masters. Good sign. I like DiBiase, but he's gotta be rebuilt...he's lost all momentum. DiBiase grounds Masters right away. Wrenching the leg. MASTERLOCK on the mat! DiBiase in the ropes! DiBiase powders. Tie up. DiBiase hammering Masters and now with a top wristlock. Interesting psychology there as he's worried about going to the mat and giving Masters his back. MASTERLOCK! DiBiase in the ropes again! He goes to the apron, and Masters bounces the pecs at him! DiBiase sells it! Masters ducks a punch and unloads! Slam! Hogan legdrop! Kickout. No one wins matches with a LEGDROP. DiBiase clothesline out of nowhere! Eve sells the concern. DiBiase pummels Masters. Fistdrop. Elbowdrop. Cover...kickout. Eve pleased. Almost a Cobra Clutch. Masters fights up. HUGE dropkick! Cover...and no. Masters is fighting up...chop! DiBiase takes him down and big kick to the head! DiBiase drops him with a punch and is calling for DREAM STREET. No...going back to the Cobra Clutch variation. Masters fights up...back suplex! Both men up...DiBiase ducks a punch and hits his own suplex! Both guys coming up...inverted atomic drop! Masters on fire with clotheslines! Powerslam on Ted! Setting up the MASTERLOCK! DiBiase fights off...ducks a swing...Masterlock attempt! DiBiase ducks down and charges the corner! Masters knocked silly! DREAM STREET! That's it!
Winner: TED DIBIASE via pinfall (DREAM STREET)
- Nice match...good psychology with Masters focusing on getting the MASTERLOCK on, while DiBiase kept trying to figure out how to wear him down without setting himself up. Very nice.
- Yoshi Tatsu heading to the ring with Goldust...NEXT!
YOSHI TATSU (w/GOLDUST) vs CAYLON CROFT (w/TRENT BARRETTA)
- Apparently Croft and Barretta are gamers? I tend to fast forward through them. Tatsu SHOULD win. Tatsu's very popular. He's a Jackie Chan-like vibe that the crowd digs. Croft grounds Tatsu and works the leg. Big armdrags by Tatsu! Dropkick! Croft sends Tatsu to the floor! Barretta goes at him, but Goldust backs him off! Off to commercials.
- Back with a Tatsu sunset flip! Croft with a clothesline and he's stomping Tatsu. Croft really isn't anything special. Choking Tatsu on the ropes. I thought they were setting up interference there. Nice snap suplex. Side headlock by Croft. Goldust looks ridiculous...=P Croft and Barretta broke their hackeysack record today. Nice interaction between Josh Matthews and Byron Saxton. Can we end the resthold, please? The divas were higher energy. Croft getting frustrated and he goes back to the resthold. The ECW announce team are so low energy, too. Croft missed a kneedrop! Tatsu getting offense! Kicks to the sides! Tajiri reference! Elija Experience! Croft cuts him off with a variation of a short arm clothesline! Goes up...Yoshi nails him! Tatsu goes up! Frankensteiner countered! Crossbody! Tatsu rolls through! Neckbreaker by Croft! I still like the last match better, and it had Chris Masters. YOSHI KICK!
Winner: YOSHI TATSU via pinfall (KICK TO THE HEAD)
- Went on a bit too long. No energy...from the guys or the crowd. Or the announcers. Wonder if Smackdown had the same problem? Looks like I'll find out with Knox and Finlay in a second.
- "Don't Try This At Home" commercial.
- Kofi promo video so the internet will shut up about his push being dead.
- Raw recap.
FINLAY vs MIKE KNOX
- How long until he's just "Knox"? This could be a good brawl or a trainwreck. Did Finlay die his hair? Remember when WWE started an angle with Knox and Kane and then just dropped it after three matches? Finlay has kind of a red tint to his hair tonight. Know overpowers Finlay. Toddd Grisham recapping past history between these two that I don't even remember. Finlay ground Knox...cautious tie up...Finlay with a kick. Working the arm. Big kick when Knox attempts a backdrop! Knox with a huge boot! Finlay to the floor. Knox follows...drop toehold into the announcd table! Knox reverses a whip into the steps...Finlay STOPS it with a boot! Charges Knox...powerslam on the floor! Knox back in as the ref counts. Count at 7. Finlay in and getting beaten down. Huge slam. Finlay selling the power very well. Knees to the back. What's Knox' finisher? Knox drives shoulders into the back now. Finlay fights back, Knox with a huge slam. Kickout. Chinlock with a knee in the back, crowd getting behind Finlay. Finlay is fighting up...jawbreaker! Knox runs into a boot! Another! Off
the ropes! Knox catches him! Slam into corner! I think that might have been supposed to be a tree of woe. Knox misses a charge! Schoolboy gets two! Clotheslines from Finlay! Sitdown splash! Finlay on fire now! Rolling Thunder slam, but Finlay sells the back! Knox with the CBC Cross Body Block out of the corner! Rips the padding off the second buckle! Avalanche! Knox with a slam...Finlay drops down! Ref sees the padding! Shillelagh! That's it!
Winner: FINLAY via pinfall (SHILLELAGH SHOT)
- Great brawl. Great effort from both guys, and the foreign object doesn't hurt Finlay because he's over, and it doesn't hurt Knox because it's a weapon.
- Best show of the week so far...=P Three good matches and one that should have been shorter.
- Tri-branded opener...featuring guys who don't usually show up on Superstars.
- Michael Cole starts us off...so it's Raw for the opener.
Divas Title Tournament Match
JILLIAN vs GAIL KIM
- When did Jillian lose her last name? I have never noticed it. Awesome. She's getting her singing gimmick in. Two time Divas champion? When was she a Divas champion? Butchering Black Eyed Peas. My daughter just clutched her ears and hid behind me. Gail Kim is the definition of overrated. "I heard Jillian wasn't going to sing because of throat problems." "Oh, really?" "The audience threatened to cut it." Nice, Jerry. Make sure that one gets into the next video game. No blown spots yet. Wow. Gail hasn't looked this good in months. Jillian killing her on the floor. This is already WAY better than Raw, but Vince isn't in love with either one of these two. Nice power on a sideslam by Jillian. Power corner whip. Jillian counting along with the ref on a hair pull. Crowd's actually getting behind Kim out of a half nelson. Wow...this is pretty good. Best Divas match I've seen in a bit. Gail holds onto the bottom rope...Victory roll! Gail wins!
Winner: GAIL KIM via pinfall (VICTORY ROLL)
- Nice match! Jillian looked strong and Gail showcased her athleticism. Will Gail face Maryse in the finals, or will Kelly Kelly?
- Finlay vs Mike Know later on for Smackdown!
- Note that I was not excited, I just think I'm supposed to add the "!" for Smackdown!
TED DIBIASE vs CHRIS MASTERS (w/Eve)
- I liked the Masters heel music better. Masters as a face is so weird. Crowd was dead for DiBiase. Weird that a guy who should be higher up the card like DiBiase has to wait on Masters. Crowd's kinda behind Masters. Good sign. I like DiBiase, but he's gotta be rebuilt...he's lost all momentum. DiBiase grounds Masters right away. Wrenching the leg. MASTERLOCK on the mat! DiBiase in the ropes! DiBiase powders. Tie up. DiBiase hammering Masters and now with a top wristlock. Interesting psychology there as he's worried about going to the mat and giving Masters his back. MASTERLOCK! DiBiase in the ropes again! He goes to the apron, and Masters bounces the pecs at him! DiBiase sells it! Masters ducks a punch and unloads! Slam! Hogan legdrop! Kickout. No one wins matches with a LEGDROP. DiBiase clothesline out of nowhere! Eve sells the concern. DiBiase pummels Masters. Fistdrop. Elbowdrop. Cover...kickout. Eve pleased. Almost a Cobra Clutch. Masters fights up. HUGE dropkick! Cover...and no. Masters is fighting up...chop! DiBiase takes him down and big kick to the head! DiBiase drops him with a punch and is calling for DREAM STREET. No...going back to the Cobra Clutch variation. Masters fights up...back suplex! Both men up...DiBiase ducks a punch and hits his own suplex! Both guys coming up...inverted atomic drop! Masters on fire with clotheslines! Powerslam on Ted! Setting up the MASTERLOCK! DiBiase fights off...ducks a swing...Masterlock attempt! DiBiase ducks down and charges the corner! Masters knocked silly! DREAM STREET! That's it!
Winner: TED DIBIASE via pinfall (DREAM STREET)
- Nice match...good psychology with Masters focusing on getting the MASTERLOCK on, while DiBiase kept trying to figure out how to wear him down without setting himself up. Very nice.
- Yoshi Tatsu heading to the ring with Goldust...NEXT!
YOSHI TATSU (w/GOLDUST) vs CAYLON CROFT (w/TRENT BARRETTA)
- Apparently Croft and Barretta are gamers? I tend to fast forward through them. Tatsu SHOULD win. Tatsu's very popular. He's a Jackie Chan-like vibe that the crowd digs. Croft grounds Tatsu and works the leg. Big armdrags by Tatsu! Dropkick! Croft sends Tatsu to the floor! Barretta goes at him, but Goldust backs him off! Off to commercials.
- Back with a Tatsu sunset flip! Croft with a clothesline and he's stomping Tatsu. Croft really isn't anything special. Choking Tatsu on the ropes. I thought they were setting up interference there. Nice snap suplex. Side headlock by Croft. Goldust looks ridiculous...=P Croft and Barretta broke their hackeysack record today. Nice interaction between Josh Matthews and Byron Saxton. Can we end the resthold, please? The divas were higher energy. Croft getting frustrated and he goes back to the resthold. The ECW announce team are so low energy, too. Croft missed a kneedrop! Tatsu getting offense! Kicks to the sides! Tajiri reference! Elija Experience! Croft cuts him off with a variation of a short arm clothesline! Goes up...Yoshi nails him! Tatsu goes up! Frankensteiner countered! Crossbody! Tatsu rolls through! Neckbreaker by Croft! I still like the last match better, and it had Chris Masters. YOSHI KICK!
Winner: YOSHI TATSU via pinfall (KICK TO THE HEAD)
- Went on a bit too long. No energy...from the guys or the crowd. Or the announcers. Wonder if Smackdown had the same problem? Looks like I'll find out with Knox and Finlay in a second.
- "Don't Try This At Home" commercial.
- Kofi promo video so the internet will shut up about his push being dead.
- Raw recap.
FINLAY vs MIKE KNOX
- How long until he's just "Knox"? This could be a good brawl or a trainwreck. Did Finlay die his hair? Remember when WWE started an angle with Knox and Kane and then just dropped it after three matches? Finlay has kind of a red tint to his hair tonight. Know overpowers Finlay. Toddd Grisham recapping past history between these two that I don't even remember. Finlay ground Knox...cautious tie up...Finlay with a kick. Working the arm. Big kick when Knox attempts a backdrop! Knox with a huge boot! Finlay to the floor. Knox follows...drop toehold into the announcd table! Knox reverses a whip into the steps...Finlay STOPS it with a boot! Charges Knox...powerslam on the floor! Knox back in as the ref counts. Count at 7. Finlay in and getting beaten down. Huge slam. Finlay selling the power very well. Knees to the back. What's Knox' finisher? Knox drives shoulders into the back now. Finlay fights back, Knox with a huge slam. Kickout. Chinlock with a knee in the back, crowd getting behind Finlay. Finlay is fighting up...jawbreaker! Knox runs into a boot! Another! Off
the ropes! Knox catches him! Slam into corner! I think that might have been supposed to be a tree of woe. Knox misses a charge! Schoolboy gets two! Clotheslines from Finlay! Sitdown splash! Finlay on fire now! Rolling Thunder slam, but Finlay sells the back! Knox with the CBC Cross Body Block out of the corner! Rips the padding off the second buckle! Avalanche! Knox with a slam...Finlay drops down! Ref sees the padding! Shillelagh! That's it!
Winner: FINLAY via pinfall (SHILLELAGH SHOT)
- Great brawl. Great effort from both guys, and the foreign object doesn't hurt Finlay because he's over, and it doesn't hurt Knox because it's a weapon.
- Best show of the week so far...=P Three good matches and one that should have been shorter.
Thursday, January 7, 2010
Marvel SAGA: Villain Chart
So a LONG time ago, I began work on some charts for Marvel SAGA. These charts were to be designed for the express purpose of with but a card draw or two, selecting a villain, a plot and a location for your Marvel SAGA adventures. Alternately, you can label these entries 1-100 and roll dice. The Villain Chart is finally complete. Some of these entries are generic. Some are specific. All are meant with the Marvel Universe in mind. With a quick card draw and a little thought, you have an instant antagonist for your adventures. Without further ado...let there be Villains! (and the occasionally misunderstood hero).
STRENGTH
1: Werewolves!
2: Killer Robot drones.
3: (Sabra) Terrorists
(Luke Cage) Gangstas
4: (Nova) A hostile cosmic invader
(Warbird) Government task force
(Captain Britain) Alternate dimensional traveler
(Sersi) Immortal manipulator.
5: (Black Bolt) Maximus, or an evil Inhuman.
(Rogue) Young mutant being manipulated by others.
(Vision) Singular killer robot such as Ultron or Machinesmith.
(Colossus) Acolytes.
(Ghost Rider) Demonic forces.
6: (She-Hulk) Gamma radiated abomination
(Thing) A Mighty Marvel Monster.
(Wonder Man) Zombies.
(Sub-Mariner) Heroic Misunderstanding.
7: (Thor) Norse creature such as a Frost Giant or Dark Elf.
(Hercules) Mythical beast such as a chimera or manticore.
8: Galactus and/or heralds.
9: Hulk.
AGILITY
1: C-string mutant terrorists, such as the MLF.
2: Religious zealot
3: (Meltdown) Teenage mutant gang
(Jubilee) “Pure” human mutant hunting squad
4: (Archangel) Apocalypse and/or his Horsemen or other Henchmen.
(Kymaera) Atlanteans.
(Morbius) Vampires.
(Falcon) Racist supervillain.
5: (Wasp) Villainous socialite
(Deadpool) Costumed mercenary hitman. (Bullseye, Deadpool or Typhoid Mary, for instance.)
(Hawkeye) Reluctant villain
(Human Torch) Skrull imposter of an associate.
(Gambit) Marauders or Nasty Boys
6: (Black Cat) Cat burglar
(Elektra) The Hand.
(Quicksilver) Super speedester
(Silver Sable) Mercenary or Merc Squad
7: (Tigra) Animal-themed villain
(Daredevil) Lawyer
8: Frankenstein's Monster or other freakishly misunderstood being.
9: A villainous clone.
INTELLECT
1: AIM Bucketheads.
2: Time-traveling villain.
3: (Polaris) Mind controlled hero
(Havok) Brotherhood of Mutants
4: (Cable) Time-traveling clone.
(Black Knight) Armored knight
(Shadowcat) N'Garai
(Cyclops) Sinister.
5: (Impossible Man) Impy or his wife and/or kids.
(Ant-Man) Insect themed villain
(Doc Samson) Mind controller such as Mesmero or Purple Man.
(Black Widow) Enemy spy.
(Nick Fury) Hydra.
6: (Black Panther) Vibranium using villain.
(Moondragon) Megomaniacal psychic
(Forge) Ancient spirit.
(Stingray) Rampaging sea creature.
7: (Beast) Mad Scientist.
(Giant-Man) Microverse invader
8: Powered Armor Villain.
9: Scientific experiment gone awry
WILLPOWER
1: Militant hero
2: Mummy.
3: (Shang-Chi) Martial artist such as Mr. X.
(Psylocke) Shadow dimension warrior
4: (Scarlet Witch) Reality manipulating villain
(Storm) Superpowered thief
(Franklin Richards) Nightmarish exaggerations of the heroes.
(Stick) Secret society seeking purity through destruction
5: (Clea) Denizens of the Dark Dimension.
(Adam Warlock) A hero's own evil (or good!) side.
(Invisible Woman) Invisible enemy
(Lockheed) The Brood
(Wolverine) Hero gone berserk
6: (Iron Fist) Dragon
(Nate Grey) Refugee from Age of Apocalypse or another alternate reality.
(White Queen) Hellfire Club.
(Phoenix) Out of control cosmic force.
7: (Agatha Harkness) Witch or coven.
(Professor X) Uberpowerful psychic entity
8: Super-Soldier Gone Wrong.
9: Evil sorcerer.
DOOM
1: Brainless thug.
2: Elemental manipulator
3: (Kingpin) Criminal Mastermind.
(Sabretooth) Serial Killer.
4: (Green Goblin) A Goblin (Green, Hob or Demo)
(Venom) Parasitic or Symbotic Alien lifeform.
5: (Taskmaster) Incredibly skilled hand to hand fighter
(Absorbing Man) Thug empowered by greater villain
6: (Juggernaut) Juggernaut or one of the Exemplars.
(Super-Skrull) Hostile humanoid alien race. (Skrulls, Kree, Badoon, etc)
7: (Super-Adaptoid) Imposter of another hero.
(Leader) Cult leader-like figure
8: (Annihilus) Negative Zone villain such as Annihilus or Blastaar.
(Loki) Evil God.
9: Mutant Supremacist.
10: Doom.
STRENGTH
1: Werewolves!
2: Killer Robot drones.
3: (Sabra) Terrorists
(Luke Cage) Gangstas
4: (Nova) A hostile cosmic invader
(Warbird) Government task force
(Captain Britain) Alternate dimensional traveler
(Sersi) Immortal manipulator.
5: (Black Bolt) Maximus, or an evil Inhuman.
(Rogue) Young mutant being manipulated by others.
(Vision) Singular killer robot such as Ultron or Machinesmith.
(Colossus) Acolytes.
(Ghost Rider) Demonic forces.
6: (She-Hulk) Gamma radiated abomination
(Thing) A Mighty Marvel Monster.
(Wonder Man) Zombies.
(Sub-Mariner) Heroic Misunderstanding.
7: (Thor) Norse creature such as a Frost Giant or Dark Elf.
(Hercules) Mythical beast such as a chimera or manticore.
8: Galactus and/or heralds.
9: Hulk.
AGILITY
1: C-string mutant terrorists, such as the MLF.
2: Religious zealot
3: (Meltdown) Teenage mutant gang
(Jubilee) “Pure” human mutant hunting squad
4: (Archangel) Apocalypse and/or his Horsemen or other Henchmen.
(Kymaera) Atlanteans.
(Morbius) Vampires.
(Falcon) Racist supervillain.
5: (Wasp) Villainous socialite
(Deadpool) Costumed mercenary hitman. (Bullseye, Deadpool or Typhoid Mary, for instance.)
(Hawkeye) Reluctant villain
(Human Torch) Skrull imposter of an associate.
(Gambit) Marauders or Nasty Boys
6: (Black Cat) Cat burglar
(Elektra) The Hand.
(Quicksilver) Super speedester
(Silver Sable) Mercenary or Merc Squad
7: (Tigra) Animal-themed villain
(Daredevil) Lawyer
8: Frankenstein's Monster or other freakishly misunderstood being.
9: A villainous clone.
INTELLECT
1: AIM Bucketheads.
2: Time-traveling villain.
3: (Polaris) Mind controlled hero
(Havok) Brotherhood of Mutants
4: (Cable) Time-traveling clone.
(Black Knight) Armored knight
(Shadowcat) N'Garai
(Cyclops) Sinister.
5: (Impossible Man) Impy or his wife and/or kids.
(Ant-Man) Insect themed villain
(Doc Samson) Mind controller such as Mesmero or Purple Man.
(Black Widow) Enemy spy.
(Nick Fury) Hydra.
6: (Black Panther) Vibranium using villain.
(Moondragon) Megomaniacal psychic
(Forge) Ancient spirit.
(Stingray) Rampaging sea creature.
7: (Beast) Mad Scientist.
(Giant-Man) Microverse invader
8: Powered Armor Villain.
9: Scientific experiment gone awry
WILLPOWER
1: Militant hero
2: Mummy.
3: (Shang-Chi) Martial artist such as Mr. X.
(Psylocke) Shadow dimension warrior
4: (Scarlet Witch) Reality manipulating villain
(Storm) Superpowered thief
(Franklin Richards) Nightmarish exaggerations of the heroes.
(Stick) Secret society seeking purity through destruction
5: (Clea) Denizens of the Dark Dimension.
(Adam Warlock) A hero's own evil (or good!) side.
(Invisible Woman) Invisible enemy
(Lockheed) The Brood
(Wolverine) Hero gone berserk
6: (Iron Fist) Dragon
(Nate Grey) Refugee from Age of Apocalypse or another alternate reality.
(White Queen) Hellfire Club.
(Phoenix) Out of control cosmic force.
7: (Agatha Harkness) Witch or coven.
(Professor X) Uberpowerful psychic entity
8: Super-Soldier Gone Wrong.
9: Evil sorcerer.
DOOM
1: Brainless thug.
2: Elemental manipulator
3: (Kingpin) Criminal Mastermind.
(Sabretooth) Serial Killer.
4: (Green Goblin) A Goblin (Green, Hob or Demo)
(Venom) Parasitic or Symbotic Alien lifeform.
5: (Taskmaster) Incredibly skilled hand to hand fighter
(Absorbing Man) Thug empowered by greater villain
6: (Juggernaut) Juggernaut or one of the Exemplars.
(Super-Skrull) Hostile humanoid alien race. (Skrulls, Kree, Badoon, etc)
7: (Super-Adaptoid) Imposter of another hero.
(Leader) Cult leader-like figure
8: (Annihilus) Negative Zone villain such as Annihilus or Blastaar.
(Loki) Evil God.
9: Mutant Supremacist.
10: Doom.
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
Tommy's Take: ECW on SyFy 1/5/10
Reception for the Monday Night blogs were well received...so I'm gonna do it again, this time with ECW.
Preface: I was not a fan of the old ECW. Never was a huge "hardcore" guy. If you're going to have hardcore matches, they should have a point. ALL gimmick matches should have a point. Didn't like the "new" ECW at first, either. Somewhere along the way, ECW got really good. The New Talent Initiative, guys like Jack Swagger and Evan Bourne...even Sheamus. Good stuff.
Tonight's show:
Mark Henry vs CM Punk in a ECW Homecoming Match
Chavo Guerrero vs Shelton Benjamin - I assume that's a Homecoming Match as well.
And here we go!
- WWE video without Foley or Hogan. Kofi's taking Foley's place, it looks like.
- Punk and Henry video at the beginning.
- Why does WWE's only Straight Edge Superstar look like a drug addict?
- I love the ECW opening video.
- Rumor has it that The Hurricane is jumping to TNA with Jeff Hardy.
- Josh Matthews and Byron Saxton are your hosts as we are TAPED in Louisville, KY.
- Christian's music hits...for a promo, I guess. ECW's new ring announcer has a pretty good voice for it.
- The ECW title belt is kinda ugly.
- Has it been more than 30 days since he defended the belt?
- I do like his music.
- Goes for the cheap pop. Christian reminds everyone about ECW Homecoming...past and present stars facing off for a title shot.
- CM Punk and Luke Gallows for the interrupt. WWE is in a lose-lose spot with Punk. If he loses, the internet will bitch about him being buried. If he wins, the internet will bitch about him being demoted.
- Punk should bury Jeff Hardy one more time tonight.
- Punk and Christian referencing HBK and Bret? Why?
- Is Punk trying to get back on ECW? Well...at least he's not making it look like a demotion.
- Seriously...Punk looks like a junkie.
- And boring.
- I'm not sure if I can handle watching all of every show, every week.
- HA! CHRISTIAN BAGS ON PUNK'S LOOKS!
- Looks like Chavo vs Shelton IS a qualifier.
- Won't drink, smoke or do drugs? I'm Straight Edge by that definition.
- Chavo vs Someone Who Isn't Hornswoggle!
- Mike Tyson on Raw next week.
ECW HOMECOMING QUALIFIER
SHELTON BENJAMIN vs CHAVO GUERRERO
- Did they ever formalize his face turn? Shelton is an awful heel. I like him as a face, though. Kinda wish he would ditch the Butch Reed dye job, though. Remember when Chavo was Kerwin White and feuded with Shelton Benjamin? And Shelton had a Momma's Boy gimmick right after that? Me either. Slugfest. Because that's what I want to see out of these two. Nice. Shelton lost Chavo on an irish whip and he ran anyway. Three Amigos. German to block the last Amigo! Byron Saxton is an awful color commentator. Matthews is a fine play by play guy. This match is a little sloppy and disjointed. Guerrero is working the leg...makes sense, grounding Shelton. Scott Armstrong looks so uncomfortable as a ref. Saxton did point out the psychology of working the leg. Good job. Crowd getting behind Shelton. Fights out! Dragon Whip! Benjamin sells the leg! Big backdrop. Chavo goes back to the leg! Shelton tosses him up and drops him, but keeps selling the leg. Powerbomb? No! Rolling crab! Did Chavo earn a push for not bitching about Hornswoggle? Flying headscissors! Chavo off the top...Benjamin ducks...Chavo rolls! Charges Shelton...PAYDIRT!
Winner: SHELTON BENJAMIN via pinfall (PAYDIRT)
- Better than Wolfe-Burke from TNA on Monday, because Shelton remembered to sell the injury THE WHOLE MATCH, and both guys actually look like stars. Very nice match.
- Graphic showing those who have qualified: Vance Archer (I can't believe that guy has a job), Shelton Benjamin, Kane. Ezekiel Jackson, Evan Bourne, Matt Hardy and Yoshi Tatsu. Punk about has to win with that field.
- Shelton still playing to the crowd with a mild reaction.
- Retirement of Tommy Dreamer. That was a classy segment. With the rumors that ECW is "ending", Dreamer's exit really makes sense. Wonder if he's still TNA bound?
- Zack Ryder. Bad gimmick? Yes. But he plays it shamelessly. That's why he deserves a push. Ryder heelishly burying Dreamer. Claiming to have destroyed ECW last week. Hm...the promo was just to put himself over.
- Raw recap. Excuse me if I don't recap it. Raw was really the better show. Less exciting, but I can look at every segment and see the point.
- Ezekiel Jackson vs Vladimir Kozlov again? I hate that break up. They had such potential with Regal as his roundtable.
- Caprica looks interesting.
- Legion looks very interesting.
- Rey vs Batista on Smackdown, winner faces Undertaker. I'm figuring its a draw, setting up a Triple Threat.
EZEKIEL JACKSON (w/WILLIAM REGAL) vs VLADIMIR KOZLOV
- Regal should have a career as a manager if he wants it. I don't think the crowd has still quite taken to Kozlov. Recap of the turn on Kozlov three weeks ago. This could be bowling shoe ugly. The video of Kozlov becoming a US citizen is pretty touching, though. He looks so happy. Huge oversell by Jackson off a big boot. A leg DDT? By Jackson? Jackson apparently watched the last match, as he's working the leg. Crowd is dead. Wait...is that a "USA" chant? Chop block. Jackson is tearing Kozlov up. Kozlov kicks Jackson off...but back to the leg. That was an interesting move. He had Kozlov's leg on his shoulder and dropped down. Announcers acknowleding that Jackson doesn't normally wrestle like this. Another huge oversell by Jackson as Kozlov kicks him out of the ring. Kozlov forgetting to sell the leg. Crowd forgetting to sell his chants. TAKE IT HOME! TAKE IT HOME! Huge clothesline by Jackson. Almost more of a forearm club. Suplex. HA! Small "We Want Regal" chant. Crowd kinda popped for Jackson winning. That's bad.
Winner: EZEKIEL JACKSON via pinfall (STANDING URANGE)
- Jackson and Regal taunt Kozlov. Wow. This feud is a heat sink. Bad match...the attacking the leg only barely made sense in the context of the match...and Kozlov forgot to sell it anyway.
- Mark Henry...Christian showing up? No! Tony Atlas! CONTINUITY! He wants to manage Henry again tonight! Atlas with the ridiculous laugh, Henry shuts him down. Ha!
- I will not be recapping the Royal Rumble.
ECW HOMECOMING QUALIFIER
CM PUNK (w/LLUKE GALLOWS and SLAMMY) vs MARK HENRY
- Punk winning with a screwjob. Countout, maybe? This is a Raw star vs a Smackdown star on ECW. Mark Henry sure seems like a happy guy. Winner joins seven other guys in a battle royal next week foor a shot at Christian at WrestleMania. Doubt this is as good as Shelton-Chavo, but it will have more heat. Should be light years better than the last match. Punk fails to suplex Henry...hip toss. Henry barely sells kicks. Catches a running kick...over the top rope! Commercial break.
- Why is TNA having Angle vs AJ for the belt again when AJ pinned Angle clean? And how many finishers is THAT match going to take to end it?
- Back from the break and Henry is dominating. Punk on the floor, Henry goes after him...Henry into the steps! Punk and Gallows trying to get the ref to count faster. Punk on the attack. Series of knee drops. Cover, but Henry kicks out. Announcers referencing both men being in Money in the Bank last year. Neckbreaker by Henry. Beating on Henry, ref pulls him off. Variation of a triangle choke. This is such a low energy show tonight. Crowd is starting to get into it. Punk with a huge series of elbows! Gets a two count. Punk laying in kicks like Bill Watts to Buddy Landell's luggage. Punk now with knees. Henry is no selling and NOW the crowd is getting into it! Headbutts! HUGE clothesline! Avalanche! Forearm in the corner. A head of steam...misses! Running knee by Punk! Bulldog...throw off...Punk stops before hitting the ref! Gallows cheapshots Henry! Big kick by Punk! Gets three!
Winner: CM PUNK via pinfall (Kick to head after interference)
- Evan Bourne, Matt Hardy, Vance Archer, Ezekiel Jackson, Yoshi Tatsu, Shelton Benjamin, Kane and CM Punk in a battle royal for a shot at Christian, next week! God I hope Archer doesn't win.
- That was not a good show. No one was over, crowd had no energy. Just not a good night.
Preface: I was not a fan of the old ECW. Never was a huge "hardcore" guy. If you're going to have hardcore matches, they should have a point. ALL gimmick matches should have a point. Didn't like the "new" ECW at first, either. Somewhere along the way, ECW got really good. The New Talent Initiative, guys like Jack Swagger and Evan Bourne...even Sheamus. Good stuff.
Tonight's show:
Mark Henry vs CM Punk in a ECW Homecoming Match
Chavo Guerrero vs Shelton Benjamin - I assume that's a Homecoming Match as well.
And here we go!
- WWE video without Foley or Hogan. Kofi's taking Foley's place, it looks like.
- Punk and Henry video at the beginning.
- Why does WWE's only Straight Edge Superstar look like a drug addict?
- I love the ECW opening video.
- Rumor has it that The Hurricane is jumping to TNA with Jeff Hardy.
- Josh Matthews and Byron Saxton are your hosts as we are TAPED in Louisville, KY.
- Christian's music hits...for a promo, I guess. ECW's new ring announcer has a pretty good voice for it.
- The ECW title belt is kinda ugly.
- Has it been more than 30 days since he defended the belt?
- I do like his music.
- Goes for the cheap pop. Christian reminds everyone about ECW Homecoming...past and present stars facing off for a title shot.
- CM Punk and Luke Gallows for the interrupt. WWE is in a lose-lose spot with Punk. If he loses, the internet will bitch about him being buried. If he wins, the internet will bitch about him being demoted.
- Punk should bury Jeff Hardy one more time tonight.
- Punk and Christian referencing HBK and Bret? Why?
- Is Punk trying to get back on ECW? Well...at least he's not making it look like a demotion.
- Seriously...Punk looks like a junkie.
- And boring.
- I'm not sure if I can handle watching all of every show, every week.
- HA! CHRISTIAN BAGS ON PUNK'S LOOKS!
- Looks like Chavo vs Shelton IS a qualifier.
- Won't drink, smoke or do drugs? I'm Straight Edge by that definition.
- Chavo vs Someone Who Isn't Hornswoggle!
- Mike Tyson on Raw next week.
ECW HOMECOMING QUALIFIER
SHELTON BENJAMIN vs CHAVO GUERRERO
- Did they ever formalize his face turn? Shelton is an awful heel. I like him as a face, though. Kinda wish he would ditch the Butch Reed dye job, though. Remember when Chavo was Kerwin White and feuded with Shelton Benjamin? And Shelton had a Momma's Boy gimmick right after that? Me either. Slugfest. Because that's what I want to see out of these two. Nice. Shelton lost Chavo on an irish whip and he ran anyway. Three Amigos. German to block the last Amigo! Byron Saxton is an awful color commentator. Matthews is a fine play by play guy. This match is a little sloppy and disjointed. Guerrero is working the leg...makes sense, grounding Shelton. Scott Armstrong looks so uncomfortable as a ref. Saxton did point out the psychology of working the leg. Good job. Crowd getting behind Shelton. Fights out! Dragon Whip! Benjamin sells the leg! Big backdrop. Chavo goes back to the leg! Shelton tosses him up and drops him, but keeps selling the leg. Powerbomb? No! Rolling crab! Did Chavo earn a push for not bitching about Hornswoggle? Flying headscissors! Chavo off the top...Benjamin ducks...Chavo rolls! Charges Shelton...PAYDIRT!
Winner: SHELTON BENJAMIN via pinfall (PAYDIRT)
- Better than Wolfe-Burke from TNA on Monday, because Shelton remembered to sell the injury THE WHOLE MATCH, and both guys actually look like stars. Very nice match.
- Graphic showing those who have qualified: Vance Archer (I can't believe that guy has a job), Shelton Benjamin, Kane. Ezekiel Jackson, Evan Bourne, Matt Hardy and Yoshi Tatsu. Punk about has to win with that field.
- Shelton still playing to the crowd with a mild reaction.
- Retirement of Tommy Dreamer. That was a classy segment. With the rumors that ECW is "ending", Dreamer's exit really makes sense. Wonder if he's still TNA bound?
- Zack Ryder. Bad gimmick? Yes. But he plays it shamelessly. That's why he deserves a push. Ryder heelishly burying Dreamer. Claiming to have destroyed ECW last week. Hm...the promo was just to put himself over.
- Raw recap. Excuse me if I don't recap it. Raw was really the better show. Less exciting, but I can look at every segment and see the point.
- Ezekiel Jackson vs Vladimir Kozlov again? I hate that break up. They had such potential with Regal as his roundtable.
- Caprica looks interesting.
- Legion looks very interesting.
- Rey vs Batista on Smackdown, winner faces Undertaker. I'm figuring its a draw, setting up a Triple Threat.
EZEKIEL JACKSON (w/WILLIAM REGAL) vs VLADIMIR KOZLOV
- Regal should have a career as a manager if he wants it. I don't think the crowd has still quite taken to Kozlov. Recap of the turn on Kozlov three weeks ago. This could be bowling shoe ugly. The video of Kozlov becoming a US citizen is pretty touching, though. He looks so happy. Huge oversell by Jackson off a big boot. A leg DDT? By Jackson? Jackson apparently watched the last match, as he's working the leg. Crowd is dead. Wait...is that a "USA" chant? Chop block. Jackson is tearing Kozlov up. Kozlov kicks Jackson off...but back to the leg. That was an interesting move. He had Kozlov's leg on his shoulder and dropped down. Announcers acknowleding that Jackson doesn't normally wrestle like this. Another huge oversell by Jackson as Kozlov kicks him out of the ring. Kozlov forgetting to sell the leg. Crowd forgetting to sell his chants. TAKE IT HOME! TAKE IT HOME! Huge clothesline by Jackson. Almost more of a forearm club. Suplex. HA! Small "We Want Regal" chant. Crowd kinda popped for Jackson winning. That's bad.
Winner: EZEKIEL JACKSON via pinfall (STANDING URANGE)
- Jackson and Regal taunt Kozlov. Wow. This feud is a heat sink. Bad match...the attacking the leg only barely made sense in the context of the match...and Kozlov forgot to sell it anyway.
- Mark Henry...Christian showing up? No! Tony Atlas! CONTINUITY! He wants to manage Henry again tonight! Atlas with the ridiculous laugh, Henry shuts him down. Ha!
- I will not be recapping the Royal Rumble.
ECW HOMECOMING QUALIFIER
CM PUNK (w/LLUKE GALLOWS and SLAMMY) vs MARK HENRY
- Punk winning with a screwjob. Countout, maybe? This is a Raw star vs a Smackdown star on ECW. Mark Henry sure seems like a happy guy. Winner joins seven other guys in a battle royal next week foor a shot at Christian at WrestleMania. Doubt this is as good as Shelton-Chavo, but it will have more heat. Should be light years better than the last match. Punk fails to suplex Henry...hip toss. Henry barely sells kicks. Catches a running kick...over the top rope! Commercial break.
- Why is TNA having Angle vs AJ for the belt again when AJ pinned Angle clean? And how many finishers is THAT match going to take to end it?
- Back from the break and Henry is dominating. Punk on the floor, Henry goes after him...Henry into the steps! Punk and Gallows trying to get the ref to count faster. Punk on the attack. Series of knee drops. Cover, but Henry kicks out. Announcers referencing both men being in Money in the Bank last year. Neckbreaker by Henry. Beating on Henry, ref pulls him off. Variation of a triangle choke. This is such a low energy show tonight. Crowd is starting to get into it. Punk with a huge series of elbows! Gets a two count. Punk laying in kicks like Bill Watts to Buddy Landell's luggage. Punk now with knees. Henry is no selling and NOW the crowd is getting into it! Headbutts! HUGE clothesline! Avalanche! Forearm in the corner. A head of steam...misses! Running knee by Punk! Bulldog...throw off...Punk stops before hitting the ref! Gallows cheapshots Henry! Big kick by Punk! Gets three!
Winner: CM PUNK via pinfall (Kick to head after interference)
- Evan Bourne, Matt Hardy, Vance Archer, Ezekiel Jackson, Yoshi Tatsu, Shelton Benjamin, Kane and CM Punk in a battle royal for a shot at Christian, next week! God I hope Archer doesn't win.
- That was not a good show. No one was over, crowd had no energy. Just not a good night.
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
Tommy's Take on: TNA Impact 1/4/10
And now...TNA! I don't like Hogan, but I'm morbidly curious about this. Hopefully, Bischoff at least will increase the production values. Anyway...I haven't watched TNA in months, and I apparently lost about 7 minutes of this thanks to my son. So, here goes.
- TNA Wrestling...Cross the Line!
- Video package from the first TNA show. Oh, moving up through other stuff...Sting, Angle, so forth...Hogan is here. Yay.
- We will be LIVE in Orlando, Florida.
- "Time For A Change". Poor Owen Hart.
- I dislike so many TNA guys, its almost funny.
- We are in the Impact Zone! Russ won't even stand in line for this and he's RIGHT THERE.
- Tazz and Tenay...somone has a Hogan wrestling buddy. Are all those Hogan shirts legit?
- Steel Asylum Matchh for the X Division title, Amazing Red defending.
- ODB challenges Tara for the Knockout Title.
- Rhino vs Abyss in a Barbed Wire Massacre.
- Fully Metal Mayhem: Beer Money vs British Invasion.
- Good thing TNA hasn't learned their lesson about wasting gimmick matches.
- Oh, dear God...Bubba the Love Sponge is a new "broadcast partner". Way to make me beg for the Nasty Boys instead.
- Fast forward time.
Steel Asylum Match for the X Division Title
CHRIS SABIN vs ALEX SHELLEY vs HOMICIDE vs KYOSHI vs JAY LETHAL vs CONSEQUENCES CREED vs SUICIDE vs AMAZING RED(c)
- Tenay trying to give a little intro to the X Divison and the wrestlers as they come out. Good idea. Three teams (Motor City Machine Guns, World Elite and Lethal Consquences) versus two singles guys. Tazz putting over Red who, I am led to understand, has been largely absent for a while. Tenay is talking about Mick Foley being barred from the Impact Zone. This is a cage with a dome. Winner is the guy that escapes through a hole in the top. Big chaos at the beginning. Hard to follow the action through the bbig red bars. Half the guys are on the cage while half are in the ring. Suicide hits his finisher on Red, but Machismo takes him out. Guys taking turns hitting big moves in the middle of the ring. Suicide is climbing...is Suicide still Kazarian? Nice. Suicide hiptosses Red off the ropes onto Sabin, but Red hits a hurracanrana. Homicide is killing people with a baton? Including Kiyoshi? Wait...did they just call for the bell?
Winner: No Contest...in a CAGE MATCH.
- Nice...opening match on TNA's first Monday show? A no contest after Homicide uses a weapon in a CAGE. The crowd is chanting "This is Bullshit", which Spike TV is bleeping...and Homicide is taking FOREVER to climb through the hall. What an awful, awful way to start the show. Awesome...Homicide can't climb out. Oh...that MAY have been intentional. Wait...what the hell? Did everyone recover from the BATON attack? And now...dear lord...JEFF HARDY. Hardy is in the crowd...wow. Homicide is attacking him. So...Jeff went from WWE main eventer to TNA X Divisioner? Twist of Fate on the ramp. Did TNA sign him to a contract? Or is he working per appearance? Hardy is climbing the cage..and sitting on it.
- What a cluster. I would imagine that Jeff's getting cut out of the WWE promo video as well?
- Jeff's backstage with Shannon Moore, who TNA doesn't even name on camera.
- Dear lord. Hogan has a motorcade. You're f-ing kidding me.
- Kevin Nash and Christy Hemme backstage. Hemme rubbing on him...nice. Nash is awfully subdued. Nash calls it an "epic night" for TNA. Allow me to call the opening match an EPIC FAIL. Nash is putting Hogan over hard. Hemme is feigning excitement. Not a classic promo here. Oh no...Hogan is coming and he's "not alone".
- Up next, Tara vs ODB.
TNA Knockouts Championship
ODB vs Tara(c)
- ODB is making me somewhat ill. I do like Tara, though. Who's the face here? Tara still has the spider. ODB attacks before the bell, and is drinking in the ring. That would get her license taken away in Oklahoma. Tara with a kick to the boobs. Nice clothesline. I am glad Tara's getting something to do before her career is done. She's still attractive, and can still go as well as she ever could. Nice enzuigiri. Sweet standing moonsault. Tarantula! Awesome! Is ODB selling, or holding a boob in? ODB runs Tara into the corner...TKO blocked...WIDOW'S PEAK...roll up! Asscrack! Spike TV goes to a blank arena shot! ODB wins!
Winner and NEW TNA Knockouts Champion: ODB with schoolgirl, holding the tights.
- So...Tara's second reign is incredibly short. TNA is killing her. And nice cutaway, Spike TV. Tara with a WIDOW'S PEAK after the match, and she places the tarantuala on ODB. Tara's celebration is cut short as...Ric Flair shows up?!??! I am genuinely shocked.
- I watched Flair's farewell send-off the other night...I think its kinda crappy that he's had to whore himself out after that. Undertaker even broke KAYFABE. Ugh. Well, that was a genuine surprise...Flair's here with Bischoff and Russo...weird.
- tNa sign done in nWo style.
- Video footage of Foley not being allowed in while Hemme is interviewing fans. Did Hemme ask the fan, on camera, twice? Hemme is informing us that Foley is barred due to a "memo". I watched Cactus Jack vs Sting from Beach Blast '92 the other night. I kinda don't want to see Foley or Sting in a ring again after that. It's just sad.
- "The Boss" Bobby Lashley...annd not dressed to wrestle. Good god...that means he's going to talk. Has Lashley gotten any better on the mic? Because in WWE he absolutely sucked.
- So...is Kristal Lashley doing a Michelle Obama gimmick? Impact Zone loves Lashley, but they are sheep. Nice...Kristal is talking for him...and I think she's turning him heel tonight. Yes...yes, she is. Hm. This may be the best thing on the show so far.
- ! Lashley's asked for his release from his TNA contract! Lashley is so bad...he doesn't even have decent facial expressions.
- VELVET~! SKY~! Leading the camera man into a locker room...Lacey and Madison Rayne...strip poker? "Live, without a not?" "Who's Annette?" "Is she hot?" I take that back, this is better than the Lashley segment. Nice! Madison counted to 18! YEP. STRIP POKER.
- Wow.
- Mel Gibson remaking Ransom? Kinda? Edge of Darkness looks cool.
- The motorcade. I think that means I'm losing part of Hogan's promo in the 7 minutes. That works.
- Dear lord. Hall and Waltman outside the Impact Zone. HA! They can't get in! They're attacking security?
- Jeff Hardy, Ric Flair, Shannon Moore, Scott Hall and Sean Waltman? NICE TALENT ACQUISITIONS.
- Motorcade is rounding the corner...no, a few blocks away.
- That whole segment is the motorcade, Hall and Waltman?
- Here it is...TNA is teasing a mystery limo. Sting?
- Oh lord...Hall and Waltman have crashed TNA. Remember when they both flaked out on TNA?
- ...seriously? ANOTHER segment that was motorcade and Hall and Waltman? Dear lord.
- More Hall and Waltman...or not. ANOTHER commercial break.
- Is anything going to HAPPEN this time?
- "nWo music" knockoff brings out Hogan...who is in Hollywood Hogan colors, complete with beard. Hm. All those guys in red and yellow look silly. The entrance video is in red and yellow. Hogan not really acknowledging Hall. Hogan not actually slapping any hands. Brooke and Nick Hogan in the crowd. Cue joke about Hogan having to paper his own audience at a free show.
- Wait...he's been in the back all day long? Then what was with the motorcade? I'm confused. NASH was in the back and said Hogan was "on his way"...but he was already THERE. Hm.
- Hall and Waltman jumping the rail...security backing them off. Now Hogan acknowledges them. Uh oh. Hogan's bringing them in. Nice of Hall to dye his hair for TV. Nice of Waltman to keep his clothes on. Hall does look better than the last few times I saw him. That's good.
- Does anyone give a flip about this? At least Sting tried to reinvent himself in TNA.
- Hall is forgetting that he used to be in TNA, apparently. Hogan's shutting down "the party". Awww.
- Is Waltman high? Apparently Hogan's not wanting to relive the nWo, except for the nWo knockoff music and the bad beard.
- TEEHEE. Hogan preaching about "growing up".
- Uh oh...Hall threatening Hogan...and here comes Nash. TNA is CUTTING EDGE.
- Hey, doesn't TNA have a heavyweight champion? AJ...something? He's being treated like Sheamus tonight. Thank God Nash is here to save this segment. Too bad this is WCW...with all the guys I didn't like.
- Hall wants to fight, apparently.
- You're f-ing kidding me. Bischoff is on air now too?
- And that's where my recording died. I'll be jumping ahead in time seven minutes.
- To recap. It is 2010, and both TNA and WWE are rehashing history from 12 years ago, while ignoring their respective champions, guys who weren't on the map twelve years ago.
- And I return in the middle of a commercial break. Wonder if Tenay and Tazz will be showing us "how it ended".
- Oh...dear God. nWo in the ring and Sting in the rafters. This IS WCW all over again, except everyone is old.
TNA Knockouts Tag Team Title Match
AWESOME KONG & HAMADA vs TAYLOR WILDE & SARITA(c)
- This could be good. King and Hamada are not pretty...though Hamada has cleaned up a but since the last time I saw her. Wilde and Sarita are in matching outfits. Good times. I approve. Has there been any mention of AJ Styles at all tonight? I spoke too soon...AJ Styles vs Kurt Angle for the TNA World Title was just announced. Sarita vs Hamada to start. If Hamada wore facepaint, I think she would look like Onryo. Woops...Sarita slipped off that DDT. Taylor Wilde with a nice flying armdrag off the top rope. YOU'RE F-ING KIDDING ME. The Motor City Machine Guns have been laid out in the back...nWo? SIGH. Meanwhile, Kong is killing the tag champs. Kong refusing to sell dropkicks from Wilde. Double dropkicks get her! Double dives to the floor on Kong and Hamada! Off to commercials.
- I just realized that Kong and Hamada are color coordinated. I approve. Hamada's kinda good. Wilde is babyface in peril, unable to get to Sarita. Hamada is teasing the tag for Sarita and Wilde. Kong beating Wilde down. Flip over on a powerbomb and a code breaker! Sarita is in with a springboard dropkick! Sterero frankensteiners! Wait! Kong with a powerbomb...no, sunset flip by Sarita...butt crush by Kong! Nice. Backfist by Kong. Wilde eats ringpost! AWESOME BOMB...DROPKICK! NEW CHAMPIONS!
Winners and NEW TNA Knockouts Tag Team Champions: AWESOME KONG & HAMADA via pinfall on Sarita after POWERBOMB DROPKICK!
- That was the best part of the show so far. A well worked tag match by the knockouts. Wilde is still selling the KO from the post.
- Beautiful People in bras! Oh...god. Val Venis is here, in towel...but TNA doesn't have a name for him. SIGH. Velvet Sky is shutting him down...oh no...he's in the game. You're freaking kidding me. Here I was hoping for an Angelina Love interruption. Sky peeks under Venis' towel.
- I was right...TNA is more interesting...in a train wreck kind of way.
- Ya know, at least Venis can talk. And, last time I saw him, he was decent in the ring. Not the worst pick up.
- Foley's still shut out of building. Isn't that the old Main Event Mafia security?
-- Dear...God...the Nasty Boys? I haven't seen Sags in YEARS. Knobbs is still bloated.
- RAVEN! RICHARDS! DAFFNEY! YES! Tag match?
RAVEN & DR. STEVIE w/DAFFNEY vs MATT MORGAN & HERNANDEZ
- Apparently the winning team gets a tag title shot. Daffney is in a gothic nurse outfit. Raven and Hernandez to start. Stevie is all over Morgan. Crap...CARBON FOOTPRINT. Raven and Richards just got squashed. F-U, TNA.
Winners: MATT MORGAN & HERNANDEZ via pinfall on RICHARDS after CARBON FOOTPRINT.
- D'Angelo Dinero taking on Desmond Wolfe tonight, apparently. Dinero annoys me already. He needs to talk less.
- ...Orlando Jordan is here now, too? The Hell? Dinero is incredulous that Jordan is even here. Wow. Interesting segment. NICE. "Whoopi Goldberg look alike".
- Seriously? ORLANDO JORDAN?
DESMOND WOLFE vs D'ANGELO DINERO
- Wolfe has the most generic look possible. Seriously. I nearly fell asleep as he walked to the ring. Nice...money falling from the roof. Seriously...Wolfe looks like a jobber. Chain wrestling to start. First time I've seen that tonight. Nice hand stomp by Wolfe. Dinero with a big clothesline. Oooh...Hammerlock DDT? Wolfe's killing the shoulder/arm. Okay, I'm impressed. He blocked a sunset flip by working the arm. That's "psychology". Dinero with some NICE hand time off the top rope...too bad he stopped selling arm to do it. TOWER OF LONDON blocked...small package! Dinero wins!
Winner: D'ANGELO DINERO via pinfall with a small package.
- Jeff Jarrett!
- That was a pretty good little match. Although Wolfe has now gone from near draws with Angle to losing in minutes to Dinero. He looks bland as hell, but the psychology (on Wolfe's part, at least) was great.
- Now Rhyno is laid out?
- Dear God...Bubba the Love Sponge AGAIN. YUCK.
- Over and hour and a half in, and we haven't seen TNA Champion AJ Styles.
- Recap of the nWo reunion. Where's Goldberg? Can we get Goldberg here? Was that Nash's contract torn up?
- Jarrett is WALKING. To the ring. Still.
- Who's the guy with the belt? OH. AJ Styles. Backstage. Not...you know...wrestling. Bischoff interrupting? Hm. Styles looks unimpressed. Apparently Bischoff forgot AJ worked for WCW. Uh oh. Bischoff is screwing with the Angle-AJ match? AJ-Angle tonight? Nice...Bischoff just called AJ "kid". He's THIRTY FIVE.
- Jarrett!
- Where's Samoa Joe and Daniels?
- Wonder how Jarrett's feeling right now? Dixie Carter in the crowd looking miffed. Jarrett talking about founding the company. "Thank you, Jeff" chant. Jarrett talking about all the guys he gave shots to: Beer Money, Shelly and Sabin, Daniels, Joe and AJ. Hm. Jarrett promises that "you ain't seen nuthin' yet."
- Hogan on the screen? Heeling out on Jarrett? Crowd is turning on him. Saying Jarrett ran TNA into the ground. Hm. Crowd with a "Bullshit" chant. WCW reference with "You got no stroke." Hmmm...interesting angle for Jarrett. Can he "hang with the young guys?".
- Daniels backstage with Hemme. What happened to his eye brows? Nice...Daniels gets shut down seconds in so Borash and Foley can take over the segment. What about the "young guys" getting a shot again?
- Oh lord...Moore and Hardy backstage. Ugh.
Barbed Wire Massacre
ABYSS vs ?????
- Wait...is this not a barbed wire massacre? Okay...Samoa Joe! Without the penis on his face! Interesting. Joe with a sucker punch! Joe pummels Abyss! Big enzuigiri! Joe setting up the facewash. Abyss with a boot! Joe bails! Chair shot misses! Abyss taking the upper hand. Boot to the face by Joe. Inverted atomic drop and yakuza! Senton! Abyss kicks out. Hmmm...Sting is backstage somewhere. Abyss with a corner clothesline! Abyss charges...into an elbow! Joe off the ropes with a kick! Kickout! Joe's tryingh to shoe off. Standing kick to the head! Joe goes up again...chokeslam by Abyss! Kickout by Joe! Joe is bailing. Joe's getting the chair...chairshot! Kokina Clutch! Abyss is fighting! Tapout!
Winner: SAMOA JOE via submission. (KOKINA CLUTCH)
- Pretty good.
- Bischoff complaining that the match went too long? Kristal interrupts, wanting Lashley's release. Demanding a meeting with Hogan.
- SIGH. Now BEER MONEY is laid out. Nasty Boys vs British Invasion, maybe? Where's Eric Young? He still works here, right?
- Oh...Nasty Boys still can't get in. Bubba the Jack Nut is trying to get them in. Dear...God.
- Kurt Angle and Jeremy Borash backstage. Not a fan of Angle, really...hope AJ goes over, without shenanigans. At least he doesn't have the silly mouthpiece right now.
- AJ-Mania sign. Nice.
- Oh, lord...Moore and Hardy...getting mobbed by teenage girls. Rob Van Dam was smart to stay home...with twenty other guys debuting in one night.
- Oh...crap. Taking over the Team 3D locker room. Team 3D vs Nasty Boys? Oh dear lord. This show is a huge trainwreck.
- The main event...with forty minutes left? Really? Is this going to be a broadway, or is the "main event" all about Sting, Flair, Hogan and the nWo?
TNA World Title Match
KURT ANGLE vs AJ STYLES(c)
- What happened to the British Invasion wrestling? With the way they're hyping this, if they don't deliver, they deserve death. Chain wrestling at the beginning. AJ stops Angle with a dropkick. NICE. AJ is looking GREAT. Flip dive to the floor on Angle! Oh God...AJ is attacked. TNA bait and switch on the main? Masked guy attacks AJ...but Angle runs him off and the match is continuing? Wait...so...a guy uses a weapon in a CAGE match and the match stops...a guys runs in a regular match, but it continues? Angle takes control with a corner powerbomb as we head to commercials.
- Back with a huge suplex...and another break? REALLY??
- Wow. Alright, back again with a PPV quality match, or something. Holy crap! AJ with a DVD neckbreaker...or something? Springboard...into a suplex! Angle takes over! Angle Slam? No...AJ with a clothesline! STYLES CLASH blocked. Rolling Germans. Three of 'em on AJ. Setting him up...AJ slips out of an Angle Slam, AJ goes for the Pele...Ankle Lock! Roll up by AJ! Pele hits! Two count! Styles Clash? Back drop. Angle slam! Only gets two! This IS better than any match on Raw...springboard forearm! Going up...crap. Angle with his stupid pop up into a superplex. Angle going up? Splash misses! Styles Clash! Kickout! If Angle wins now, Styles looks bad. This is turning into a standard Angle match. Both men up...superplex? Angle fighting...splash! Kickout! Angle sizing him up...Angle slam countered with a DDT! Kickout again. Series of reversals, turning into an ankle lock...German suplex! They ARE pushing the time a little more than I thought. Asai reverse DDT! Kickout...sigh. Angle took my "grabbing the ref's hand" spot! BOO. AJ up, Angle cuts him off...they're brawling...both men up...super Angle Slam! AJ KICKS OUT! This is kinda getting ridiculous now. Ankle lock...Angle sent into the buckles! Enzuigiri! STYLES CLASH! ANOTHER kickout? Take it home! Take it home! Angle counters another Styles Clash with the Ankle lock! And now Flair comes out? AJ fights out...Angle hits the post! Back suplex! Springboard 450! Angle kicks out AGAIN? Okay, seriously...I got burnt out after that last Styles Clash.
- Back from a break...another set of the same reversals. Flair walks away...Styles Clash but AJ can't cover. Going back up...Springboard 450...AJ wins! Nice!
Winner and STILL TNA World Champion: AJ Styles via pinfall (Springboard 450)
- Nice match...went on too long. Angle shakes AJ's hand. Here comes Hogan...for the heel turn? Oh, no...to put AJ and Angle over. Nice. Hogan's being interrupted...Foley is here...barging in on the Strip Poker game!
- Foley's gonna kill Venis? Foley is face to face with Bischoff! So...Hogan and Bischoff are Good Cop/Bad Cop? The nWo are attacking Foley! Nice to see its a BRAND NEW DAY. Hogan walks in...but TNA goes off with air with an nWo CLIFFHANGER.
- Wow. That was a complete trainwreck. That was, basically, what people feared would happen...an nWo reunion, a ton of "old guys" showing up...and nothing now until next Thursday. WWE wasn't a super special show, but a solid, low key one setting up material for the next few months...this thing was one, giant cluster. The worst part is that the one reason I tuned in...the anticipated Beautiful People reunion...never happened.
- TNA Wrestling...Cross the Line!
- Video package from the first TNA show. Oh, moving up through other stuff...Sting, Angle, so forth...Hogan is here. Yay.
- We will be LIVE in Orlando, Florida.
- "Time For A Change". Poor Owen Hart.
- I dislike so many TNA guys, its almost funny.
- We are in the Impact Zone! Russ won't even stand in line for this and he's RIGHT THERE.
- Tazz and Tenay...somone has a Hogan wrestling buddy. Are all those Hogan shirts legit?
- Steel Asylum Matchh for the X Division title, Amazing Red defending.
- ODB challenges Tara for the Knockout Title.
- Rhino vs Abyss in a Barbed Wire Massacre.
- Fully Metal Mayhem: Beer Money vs British Invasion.
- Good thing TNA hasn't learned their lesson about wasting gimmick matches.
- Oh, dear God...Bubba the Love Sponge is a new "broadcast partner". Way to make me beg for the Nasty Boys instead.
- Fast forward time.
Steel Asylum Match for the X Division Title
CHRIS SABIN vs ALEX SHELLEY vs HOMICIDE vs KYOSHI vs JAY LETHAL vs CONSEQUENCES CREED vs SUICIDE vs AMAZING RED(c)
- Tenay trying to give a little intro to the X Divison and the wrestlers as they come out. Good idea. Three teams (Motor City Machine Guns, World Elite and Lethal Consquences) versus two singles guys. Tazz putting over Red who, I am led to understand, has been largely absent for a while. Tenay is talking about Mick Foley being barred from the Impact Zone. This is a cage with a dome. Winner is the guy that escapes through a hole in the top. Big chaos at the beginning. Hard to follow the action through the bbig red bars. Half the guys are on the cage while half are in the ring. Suicide hits his finisher on Red, but Machismo takes him out. Guys taking turns hitting big moves in the middle of the ring. Suicide is climbing...is Suicide still Kazarian? Nice. Suicide hiptosses Red off the ropes onto Sabin, but Red hits a hurracanrana. Homicide is killing people with a baton? Including Kiyoshi? Wait...did they just call for the bell?
Winner: No Contest...in a CAGE MATCH.
- Nice...opening match on TNA's first Monday show? A no contest after Homicide uses a weapon in a CAGE. The crowd is chanting "This is Bullshit", which Spike TV is bleeping...and Homicide is taking FOREVER to climb through the hall. What an awful, awful way to start the show. Awesome...Homicide can't climb out. Oh...that MAY have been intentional. Wait...what the hell? Did everyone recover from the BATON attack? And now...dear lord...JEFF HARDY. Hardy is in the crowd...wow. Homicide is attacking him. So...Jeff went from WWE main eventer to TNA X Divisioner? Twist of Fate on the ramp. Did TNA sign him to a contract? Or is he working per appearance? Hardy is climbing the cage..and sitting on it.
- What a cluster. I would imagine that Jeff's getting cut out of the WWE promo video as well?
- Jeff's backstage with Shannon Moore, who TNA doesn't even name on camera.
- Dear lord. Hogan has a motorcade. You're f-ing kidding me.
- Kevin Nash and Christy Hemme backstage. Hemme rubbing on him...nice. Nash is awfully subdued. Nash calls it an "epic night" for TNA. Allow me to call the opening match an EPIC FAIL. Nash is putting Hogan over hard. Hemme is feigning excitement. Not a classic promo here. Oh no...Hogan is coming and he's "not alone".
- Up next, Tara vs ODB.
TNA Knockouts Championship
ODB vs Tara(c)
- ODB is making me somewhat ill. I do like Tara, though. Who's the face here? Tara still has the spider. ODB attacks before the bell, and is drinking in the ring. That would get her license taken away in Oklahoma. Tara with a kick to the boobs. Nice clothesline. I am glad Tara's getting something to do before her career is done. She's still attractive, and can still go as well as she ever could. Nice enzuigiri. Sweet standing moonsault. Tarantula! Awesome! Is ODB selling, or holding a boob in? ODB runs Tara into the corner...TKO blocked...WIDOW'S PEAK...roll up! Asscrack! Spike TV goes to a blank arena shot! ODB wins!
Winner and NEW TNA Knockouts Champion: ODB with schoolgirl, holding the tights.
- So...Tara's second reign is incredibly short. TNA is killing her. And nice cutaway, Spike TV. Tara with a WIDOW'S PEAK after the match, and she places the tarantuala on ODB. Tara's celebration is cut short as...Ric Flair shows up?!??! I am genuinely shocked.
- I watched Flair's farewell send-off the other night...I think its kinda crappy that he's had to whore himself out after that. Undertaker even broke KAYFABE. Ugh. Well, that was a genuine surprise...Flair's here with Bischoff and Russo...weird.
- tNa sign done in nWo style.
- Video footage of Foley not being allowed in while Hemme is interviewing fans. Did Hemme ask the fan, on camera, twice? Hemme is informing us that Foley is barred due to a "memo". I watched Cactus Jack vs Sting from Beach Blast '92 the other night. I kinda don't want to see Foley or Sting in a ring again after that. It's just sad.
- "The Boss" Bobby Lashley...annd not dressed to wrestle. Good god...that means he's going to talk. Has Lashley gotten any better on the mic? Because in WWE he absolutely sucked.
- So...is Kristal Lashley doing a Michelle Obama gimmick? Impact Zone loves Lashley, but they are sheep. Nice...Kristal is talking for him...and I think she's turning him heel tonight. Yes...yes, she is. Hm. This may be the best thing on the show so far.
- ! Lashley's asked for his release from his TNA contract! Lashley is so bad...he doesn't even have decent facial expressions.
- VELVET~! SKY~! Leading the camera man into a locker room...Lacey and Madison Rayne...strip poker? "Live, without a not?" "Who's Annette?" "Is she hot?" I take that back, this is better than the Lashley segment. Nice! Madison counted to 18! YEP. STRIP POKER.
- Wow.
- Mel Gibson remaking Ransom? Kinda? Edge of Darkness looks cool.
- The motorcade. I think that means I'm losing part of Hogan's promo in the 7 minutes. That works.
- Dear lord. Hall and Waltman outside the Impact Zone. HA! They can't get in! They're attacking security?
- Jeff Hardy, Ric Flair, Shannon Moore, Scott Hall and Sean Waltman? NICE TALENT ACQUISITIONS.
- Motorcade is rounding the corner...no, a few blocks away.
- That whole segment is the motorcade, Hall and Waltman?
- Here it is...TNA is teasing a mystery limo. Sting?
- Oh lord...Hall and Waltman have crashed TNA. Remember when they both flaked out on TNA?
- ...seriously? ANOTHER segment that was motorcade and Hall and Waltman? Dear lord.
- More Hall and Waltman...or not. ANOTHER commercial break.
- Is anything going to HAPPEN this time?
- "nWo music" knockoff brings out Hogan...who is in Hollywood Hogan colors, complete with beard. Hm. All those guys in red and yellow look silly. The entrance video is in red and yellow. Hogan not really acknowledging Hall. Hogan not actually slapping any hands. Brooke and Nick Hogan in the crowd. Cue joke about Hogan having to paper his own audience at a free show.
- Wait...he's been in the back all day long? Then what was with the motorcade? I'm confused. NASH was in the back and said Hogan was "on his way"...but he was already THERE. Hm.
- Hall and Waltman jumping the rail...security backing them off. Now Hogan acknowledges them. Uh oh. Hogan's bringing them in. Nice of Hall to dye his hair for TV. Nice of Waltman to keep his clothes on. Hall does look better than the last few times I saw him. That's good.
- Does anyone give a flip about this? At least Sting tried to reinvent himself in TNA.
- Hall is forgetting that he used to be in TNA, apparently. Hogan's shutting down "the party". Awww.
- Is Waltman high? Apparently Hogan's not wanting to relive the nWo, except for the nWo knockoff music and the bad beard.
- TEEHEE. Hogan preaching about "growing up".
- Uh oh...Hall threatening Hogan...and here comes Nash. TNA is CUTTING EDGE.
- Hey, doesn't TNA have a heavyweight champion? AJ...something? He's being treated like Sheamus tonight. Thank God Nash is here to save this segment. Too bad this is WCW...with all the guys I didn't like.
- Hall wants to fight, apparently.
- You're f-ing kidding me. Bischoff is on air now too?
- And that's where my recording died. I'll be jumping ahead in time seven minutes.
- To recap. It is 2010, and both TNA and WWE are rehashing history from 12 years ago, while ignoring their respective champions, guys who weren't on the map twelve years ago.
- And I return in the middle of a commercial break. Wonder if Tenay and Tazz will be showing us "how it ended".
- Oh...dear God. nWo in the ring and Sting in the rafters. This IS WCW all over again, except everyone is old.
TNA Knockouts Tag Team Title Match
AWESOME KONG & HAMADA vs TAYLOR WILDE & SARITA(c)
- This could be good. King and Hamada are not pretty...though Hamada has cleaned up a but since the last time I saw her. Wilde and Sarita are in matching outfits. Good times. I approve. Has there been any mention of AJ Styles at all tonight? I spoke too soon...AJ Styles vs Kurt Angle for the TNA World Title was just announced. Sarita vs Hamada to start. If Hamada wore facepaint, I think she would look like Onryo. Woops...Sarita slipped off that DDT. Taylor Wilde with a nice flying armdrag off the top rope. YOU'RE F-ING KIDDING ME. The Motor City Machine Guns have been laid out in the back...nWo? SIGH. Meanwhile, Kong is killing the tag champs. Kong refusing to sell dropkicks from Wilde. Double dropkicks get her! Double dives to the floor on Kong and Hamada! Off to commercials.
- I just realized that Kong and Hamada are color coordinated. I approve. Hamada's kinda good. Wilde is babyface in peril, unable to get to Sarita. Hamada is teasing the tag for Sarita and Wilde. Kong beating Wilde down. Flip over on a powerbomb and a code breaker! Sarita is in with a springboard dropkick! Sterero frankensteiners! Wait! Kong with a powerbomb...no, sunset flip by Sarita...butt crush by Kong! Nice. Backfist by Kong. Wilde eats ringpost! AWESOME BOMB...DROPKICK! NEW CHAMPIONS!
Winners and NEW TNA Knockouts Tag Team Champions: AWESOME KONG & HAMADA via pinfall on Sarita after POWERBOMB DROPKICK!
- That was the best part of the show so far. A well worked tag match by the knockouts. Wilde is still selling the KO from the post.
- Beautiful People in bras! Oh...god. Val Venis is here, in towel...but TNA doesn't have a name for him. SIGH. Velvet Sky is shutting him down...oh no...he's in the game. You're freaking kidding me. Here I was hoping for an Angelina Love interruption. Sky peeks under Venis' towel.
- I was right...TNA is more interesting...in a train wreck kind of way.
- Ya know, at least Venis can talk. And, last time I saw him, he was decent in the ring. Not the worst pick up.
- Foley's still shut out of building. Isn't that the old Main Event Mafia security?
-- Dear...God...the Nasty Boys? I haven't seen Sags in YEARS. Knobbs is still bloated.
- RAVEN! RICHARDS! DAFFNEY! YES! Tag match?
RAVEN & DR. STEVIE w/DAFFNEY vs MATT MORGAN & HERNANDEZ
- Apparently the winning team gets a tag title shot. Daffney is in a gothic nurse outfit. Raven and Hernandez to start. Stevie is all over Morgan. Crap...CARBON FOOTPRINT. Raven and Richards just got squashed. F-U, TNA.
Winners: MATT MORGAN & HERNANDEZ via pinfall on RICHARDS after CARBON FOOTPRINT.
- D'Angelo Dinero taking on Desmond Wolfe tonight, apparently. Dinero annoys me already. He needs to talk less.
- ...Orlando Jordan is here now, too? The Hell? Dinero is incredulous that Jordan is even here. Wow. Interesting segment. NICE. "Whoopi Goldberg look alike".
- Seriously? ORLANDO JORDAN?
DESMOND WOLFE vs D'ANGELO DINERO
- Wolfe has the most generic look possible. Seriously. I nearly fell asleep as he walked to the ring. Nice...money falling from the roof. Seriously...Wolfe looks like a jobber. Chain wrestling to start. First time I've seen that tonight. Nice hand stomp by Wolfe. Dinero with a big clothesline. Oooh...Hammerlock DDT? Wolfe's killing the shoulder/arm. Okay, I'm impressed. He blocked a sunset flip by working the arm. That's "psychology". Dinero with some NICE hand time off the top rope...too bad he stopped selling arm to do it. TOWER OF LONDON blocked...small package! Dinero wins!
Winner: D'ANGELO DINERO via pinfall with a small package.
- Jeff Jarrett!
- That was a pretty good little match. Although Wolfe has now gone from near draws with Angle to losing in minutes to Dinero. He looks bland as hell, but the psychology (on Wolfe's part, at least) was great.
- Now Rhyno is laid out?
- Dear God...Bubba the Love Sponge AGAIN. YUCK.
- Over and hour and a half in, and we haven't seen TNA Champion AJ Styles.
- Recap of the nWo reunion. Where's Goldberg? Can we get Goldberg here? Was that Nash's contract torn up?
- Jarrett is WALKING. To the ring. Still.
- Who's the guy with the belt? OH. AJ Styles. Backstage. Not...you know...wrestling. Bischoff interrupting? Hm. Styles looks unimpressed. Apparently Bischoff forgot AJ worked for WCW. Uh oh. Bischoff is screwing with the Angle-AJ match? AJ-Angle tonight? Nice...Bischoff just called AJ "kid". He's THIRTY FIVE.
- Jarrett!
- Where's Samoa Joe and Daniels?
- Wonder how Jarrett's feeling right now? Dixie Carter in the crowd looking miffed. Jarrett talking about founding the company. "Thank you, Jeff" chant. Jarrett talking about all the guys he gave shots to: Beer Money, Shelly and Sabin, Daniels, Joe and AJ. Hm. Jarrett promises that "you ain't seen nuthin' yet."
- Hogan on the screen? Heeling out on Jarrett? Crowd is turning on him. Saying Jarrett ran TNA into the ground. Hm. Crowd with a "Bullshit" chant. WCW reference with "You got no stroke." Hmmm...interesting angle for Jarrett. Can he "hang with the young guys?".
- Daniels backstage with Hemme. What happened to his eye brows? Nice...Daniels gets shut down seconds in so Borash and Foley can take over the segment. What about the "young guys" getting a shot again?
- Oh lord...Moore and Hardy backstage. Ugh.
Barbed Wire Massacre
ABYSS vs ?????
- Wait...is this not a barbed wire massacre? Okay...Samoa Joe! Without the penis on his face! Interesting. Joe with a sucker punch! Joe pummels Abyss! Big enzuigiri! Joe setting up the facewash. Abyss with a boot! Joe bails! Chair shot misses! Abyss taking the upper hand. Boot to the face by Joe. Inverted atomic drop and yakuza! Senton! Abyss kicks out. Hmmm...Sting is backstage somewhere. Abyss with a corner clothesline! Abyss charges...into an elbow! Joe off the ropes with a kick! Kickout! Joe's tryingh to shoe off. Standing kick to the head! Joe goes up again...chokeslam by Abyss! Kickout by Joe! Joe is bailing. Joe's getting the chair...chairshot! Kokina Clutch! Abyss is fighting! Tapout!
Winner: SAMOA JOE via submission. (KOKINA CLUTCH)
- Pretty good.
- Bischoff complaining that the match went too long? Kristal interrupts, wanting Lashley's release. Demanding a meeting with Hogan.
- SIGH. Now BEER MONEY is laid out. Nasty Boys vs British Invasion, maybe? Where's Eric Young? He still works here, right?
- Oh...Nasty Boys still can't get in. Bubba the Jack Nut is trying to get them in. Dear...God.
- Kurt Angle and Jeremy Borash backstage. Not a fan of Angle, really...hope AJ goes over, without shenanigans. At least he doesn't have the silly mouthpiece right now.
- AJ-Mania sign. Nice.
- Oh, lord...Moore and Hardy...getting mobbed by teenage girls. Rob Van Dam was smart to stay home...with twenty other guys debuting in one night.
- Oh...crap. Taking over the Team 3D locker room. Team 3D vs Nasty Boys? Oh dear lord. This show is a huge trainwreck.
- The main event...with forty minutes left? Really? Is this going to be a broadway, or is the "main event" all about Sting, Flair, Hogan and the nWo?
TNA World Title Match
KURT ANGLE vs AJ STYLES(c)
- What happened to the British Invasion wrestling? With the way they're hyping this, if they don't deliver, they deserve death. Chain wrestling at the beginning. AJ stops Angle with a dropkick. NICE. AJ is looking GREAT. Flip dive to the floor on Angle! Oh God...AJ is attacked. TNA bait and switch on the main? Masked guy attacks AJ...but Angle runs him off and the match is continuing? Wait...so...a guy uses a weapon in a CAGE match and the match stops...a guys runs in a regular match, but it continues? Angle takes control with a corner powerbomb as we head to commercials.
- Back with a huge suplex...and another break? REALLY??
- Wow. Alright, back again with a PPV quality match, or something. Holy crap! AJ with a DVD neckbreaker...or something? Springboard...into a suplex! Angle takes over! Angle Slam? No...AJ with a clothesline! STYLES CLASH blocked. Rolling Germans. Three of 'em on AJ. Setting him up...AJ slips out of an Angle Slam, AJ goes for the Pele...Ankle Lock! Roll up by AJ! Pele hits! Two count! Styles Clash? Back drop. Angle slam! Only gets two! This IS better than any match on Raw...springboard forearm! Going up...crap. Angle with his stupid pop up into a superplex. Angle going up? Splash misses! Styles Clash! Kickout! If Angle wins now, Styles looks bad. This is turning into a standard Angle match. Both men up...superplex? Angle fighting...splash! Kickout! Angle sizing him up...Angle slam countered with a DDT! Kickout again. Series of reversals, turning into an ankle lock...German suplex! They ARE pushing the time a little more than I thought. Asai reverse DDT! Kickout...sigh. Angle took my "grabbing the ref's hand" spot! BOO. AJ up, Angle cuts him off...they're brawling...both men up...super Angle Slam! AJ KICKS OUT! This is kinda getting ridiculous now. Ankle lock...Angle sent into the buckles! Enzuigiri! STYLES CLASH! ANOTHER kickout? Take it home! Take it home! Angle counters another Styles Clash with the Ankle lock! And now Flair comes out? AJ fights out...Angle hits the post! Back suplex! Springboard 450! Angle kicks out AGAIN? Okay, seriously...I got burnt out after that last Styles Clash.
- Back from a break...another set of the same reversals. Flair walks away...Styles Clash but AJ can't cover. Going back up...Springboard 450...AJ wins! Nice!
Winner and STILL TNA World Champion: AJ Styles via pinfall (Springboard 450)
- Nice match...went on too long. Angle shakes AJ's hand. Here comes Hogan...for the heel turn? Oh, no...to put AJ and Angle over. Nice. Hogan's being interrupted...Foley is here...barging in on the Strip Poker game!
- Foley's gonna kill Venis? Foley is face to face with Bischoff! So...Hogan and Bischoff are Good Cop/Bad Cop? The nWo are attacking Foley! Nice to see its a BRAND NEW DAY. Hogan walks in...but TNA goes off with air with an nWo CLIFFHANGER.
- Wow. That was a complete trainwreck. That was, basically, what people feared would happen...an nWo reunion, a ton of "old guys" showing up...and nothing now until next Thursday. WWE wasn't a super special show, but a solid, low key one setting up material for the next few months...this thing was one, giant cluster. The worst part is that the one reason I tuned in...the anticipated Beautiful People reunion...never happened.
Monday, January 4, 2010
Tommy's Take on: WWE Monday Night Raw 1/4/10
Alright, I'm going to give this a shot. My stream of consciousness thoughts on Raw and Impact as they go head to head for the first time. This is notable as Bret Hart returns to the WWE for the first time in 12 years, and Hulk Hogan arrives in TNA. I'm not a huge fan of Bret, and I hate Hogan, but I'm morbidly intrigued. I'm handling Raw first because I honestly think that TNA will be the most...interesting...one way or another.
Announced for Raw:
Bret Hart Returns
Unified Tag Team Titles: DX vs Jeri-Show
Randy Orton vs Kofi Kingston
8 Diva Tournament for the Diva's Title starts tonight, since Melina vacated the title due to injury.
Here goes...
- We are LIVE from Dayton, OH and Ted DiBiase says that EVERYONE'S Got A Price.
- Bret Hart montage! Focusing entirely on his WWE career. You did know he went to WCW, right? Where Goldberg kicked him in the head and ended his career? Vince didn't screw Bret. Bret screwed Bret. Uh-oh, HBK is teasing somethig happening to Bret!
- Will Bret be a heel or face? The Hart Dynasty are supposed to be here tonight, and they are heels...
- Crowd already chanting "We Want Bret" and they are rolling out the red carpet for him. Nice. I like how Vince has treated Bret and Jesse Ventura. I'm calling an HBK as Bret swerve.
- Is...that him? Bret looks rough. But my goodness, they are giving him a great reception.
- I take that back...he doesn't look as rough in the close ups.
- "Well, I guess Hell froze over." Nice. Bret's telling us why he's here tonight. Storyline reason is that Vince kept shutting him down every time he tried to come back, apparently. Not sure that's the version I've heard.
- "Welcome Back!"
- Bret DID get the memo to address them as the "WWE Universe".
- This is touching, but I sure wish Vince or Shawn would show up already. Nice! Dredging up history with Lawler!
- CALLING OUT SHAWN! HBK and BRET!
- I call handshake. Shawn looks mildly repentant. Awesome. HBK will do super psychological storytelling here, I have no doubt. I'm not a huge fan of either, BUT the spectacle of this is nice.
- Bret's calling for a truce? Shawn has the mic.
- HBK's teasing heel stuff. Uh-oh. He went there. HBK says Bret screwed Bret! He's admitted culpability in his actions! And he has to be a face tonight against Jeri-Show! Now Shawn's face turning on it.
- Shawn's referencing the Iron Man Match. Awww. Shawn's putting Bret over now...awww.
- Please dear GOD let this be the end of The Montreal Incident once and for all.
- Hand shake! Hart Dynasty's jumping Shawn? Crowd seems skeptical about the hand shake. But they popped for it. No sneak attack yet. Shawn's teasing the Superkick now...HUG!
- Huh. Nothing screwy. Awesome.
- Uh-oh. Oh, he's calling out Vince!
- Vince is too scared to come out? Nice. Crowd is FURIOUS. Awww...we don't get the confrontation yet.
- Orton vs Kingston, DX vs Jeri-Show, nice double header with no Cena here.
- I liked the opener...very classy with Bret and Shawn, teasing the tension but letting both guys save face. Plus, we get get the tease for Bret vs Vince later on. Not a bad start.
- Hall of Fame teaser: Announcing Stu Hart already? Guess not.
- Josh Matthew trying to talk to Vince. Nice, Vince "didn't know" Bret called him out. He was at a meeting. Vince now threatens to call Vince out later. Why can't they either get a new play by play man for ECW, or a new backstage guy for Raw so Josh isn't doing both?
- BOOOO! Melina is injured...Cole and Lawler just announced it.
Divas Tournament Match
MARYSE vs The Bella Twins...I mean, BRIE BELLA
- I forgot the Bellas wrestled. I hate Maryse. I hate her on the mic, her movements look awkward and forced, and she's nothing special in the looks department. This is awful so far. Mostly some bad hair pulls and pushes. Nice flying mare form Brie. Um...Nikki Bella attacks Maryse on the floor? I thought Maryse was the heel? Maryse is really going to beat two Bellas. God this is sloppy. Bellas did the switch, but Maryse outsmarts them and DDTs Nikki. I hate Maryse and I hate that booking on so many levels.
Winner: MARYSE via pinfall on Nikki after switch with the FRENCH KISS.
- MIZ is here to interrupt Maryse! They remember their old angle. Nice. Miz tells Maryse he might "call her back" uf she wins. She's clearly into The Miz now that he's a champion. Miz and Maryse to form a new MnM? Miz is here to commentate for a Fatal Fourway for a US Title Shot.
- First two are out: MVP and SWAGGER. I don't like MVP, a lot...love Swagger, though, and not just because he's Oklahoman. Off to commercials before we see who's next.
- I have a Bowflex...never use it though.
#1 Contender to the US Title
MVP vs JACK SWAGGER vs CARLITO vs MARK HENRY
- Uh-oh. Carlito and Henry got jobber entrances as the match started during the break...Henry took a post during the break and Carlito is dominating MVP and Swagger. Nice tilt a whirl from Swagger. Swagger dominating MVP now, but Carlito breaks up a pin. Nice...MVP Tivos Raw. Swagger kills Carlito with a corner charge...but Henry's back in! MVP and Henry! Holy crap...MVP with a World's Strongest Slam to the floor on MVP...remember when they were partners? Henry uses Carlito's legs to take out Swagger! Bear Hug on Carlito! Swagger breaks it! Fireman's carry on Swagger...reverse torture rack? MVP with a yakuza on Henry! Kicks Henry out of the ring! Carlito accidentally nails Swagger! Playmaker on Swagger! I hate that move AND MVP! BOOOO!
Winner: MVP via pinfall on Swagger after PLAYMAKER
- Not bad...would have rather seen Swagger win and NOT take the fall. Carlito's the only one that looked like a jobber there.
- Jeri-Show talking backstage, production miscue kills the audio at first. Not what you need to do when TNA is on the other channel. Jericho's going to offer Bret a "deal"...PLEASE don't give us a repeat of Montreal tonight...PLEASE.
- Ted DiBiase is in Marine 2, did you know?
- Bret is being harassed by...someone...here comes Jericho. Awww...sharing fond memories about Jericho mastering the Walls of Jericho in the Dungeon. Jericho's trying to play on Bret's pent-up hatred against Shawn...and he's trying to get Bret to be the referee, and relive Montreal...but Bret shuts him down! Nice pink locker room. AW. Bret slams Jericho, calling him a hypocrite! And he says Jericho cried harder than anyone else in the dungeon. Awwww.
- Triple H and Hornswoggle pimping the new Mattel action figures, complete with Raw ring. Hornswoggle doesn't get to play with the toys until DX wins. Nice. Tension between DX as HBK is being serious and Triple H is being goofy. HA!! SANTINO IS JERICHO! HYPNOCRATS! Awesome!!!! Hornswoggle is the attack dog on Santino! That's funnier than it should be. Nice...Hornswoggle's a dog now. Wow. I think the audience was offended.
- DX vs Jerishow is NEXT! I can't imagine Kofi vs Orton is the main, so Bret-Vince must be.
- Isn't there a WWE champion on this show? Nearly an hour in, and no mention of Sheamus.
- Over 2 million females watch Raw last week! Good for them.
Unified Tag Team Title Match, if DX Wins, Jericho Is Off Raw For Good, Or Until SuperShows Or The Draft
DX( TRIPLE H & HBK) w/HORNSWOGGLE(c) vs JERISHOW (CHRIS JERICHO & THE BIG SHOW)
- Sure would like to see Jerishow win. Jericho on Raw and Smackdown each week makes them much better. Well...BREAK THE WALLS DOWN. Jerishow is the best use of Big Show in years. C'mon...give us Jerishow vs Edge & Christian at WrestleMania. Show and HBK to start, and Hornswoggle is under the ring. Chops in the corner, except Show can't touch Shawn. Headbutt! Blind tag by HHH...Show suplexes both men! Commercial break as DX bails...
- The Rock is The Tooth Fairy. The Rock needs to guest host Raw. I was watching Rock/Austin clips this weekend.
- More ECW Homecoming tomorrow.
- Back from the break and Jericho is dominating HHH. Show in, HHH fighting back. Big slam crushes HHH, and Show stands on him. Hogan legdrop on HHH! Only gets two...silly Show, you can't pin a guy with a LEGDROP. Is it me, or do Show's punches always look like they don't actually hurt? Jericho standing on HHH on the middle rope...and he's doing the Hogan ear thing to the crowd. Nice. Cobra clutch variation on HHH...SPINEBUSTER by HHH! Double down! Going to the hot tag already? Tag to Show...no...he's cutting off HHH. Big slam...Vader Bomb time. Spending a long time gloating...he misses! Hot tag rush again! Tag to HBK! Weakest chops ever! Tiny forearm! Two of them! Basement dropkick takes Show down! Nails Jericho! Shawn goes for the elbow...Jericho cuts him off! Hornswoggle crushes Show, which REALLY shouldn't hurt. Cover...huge kickout. Tuning up the band...Show catches him! CHOKESLAM! HHH is lurking...HBK kicks out?! Seriously? Jericho in...Lionsault gets the knees...no! Walls of Jericho! No, he kicks free! Tag HHH! Pedigree! Show in! Spiked Pedigree on Show! DX in...Jericho shoves HHH into Shawn! School boy gets two! Codebreaker, but Jericho can't cover! Both men down! Show and HBK down on the floor! Count is at five...cover...HBK breaks a pin! Hornswoggle's back in! JERICHO kicks his head off! Pedigree gets turned into the Walls...Sweet Chin Music! No! NO! DX wins!
Winners and STILL Unified Tag Team Champions: DX after HHH pins Jericho following the SWEET CHIN MUSIC.
- Nice match, crappy finish. Raw really didn't need to lose Jericho...=( DX vs Kane and Undertaker for a while now? I thought Shawn and HHH hated working Tuesdays?
- Show's getting in the ring, Jericho's still laid out. HHH is telling Jericho goodbye. Raw is worse for it. HBK looks bothered by it. Maybe not. Booo..."Suck it." Show looks like he's going to kill Jericho...but he walks away. Now Show becomes a big, boring goof again and Jericho feuds with R-Truth on Smackdown. Crowd singing "Goodbye" to Jericho. Jericho with a dramatic walk away, slumping at the entrance...DX music kicks in when he leaves.
- Someone at McMahon's dressing toom...McMahon's not looking down...Orton. Orton's going to offer to take Bret out for Vince...in exchange for a title match, I would assume. Nice...Bret "walked out". Hm. Vince is pondering Orton's offer to kick Bret's skull in...not for a title shot...but for the #30 spot in the Rumble. But Vince shuts him down? Orton walks up to Legacy...Rhodes and DiBiase are flipping the tables on Orton...if Orton doesn't beat Kofi, he's out of Legacy! NICE! I call Kofi winning, DiBiase attacking Orton and Rhodes turning on him.
- Mike Tyson is guest host next week! I would imagine there will be some interaction with DX?
- Sheamus/Cena video package...Sheamus up next? Here he is...the guy so pale he makes me regret retiring from wrestling.
- Sheamus with a promo instead of a squash?
- Yawn. He's not defending the belt until the Rumble, and he's not taking on Cena...hmmmm...who's a credible challenge?
Evan...Bourne? Um. Wow. Maybe it IS time to end the brand split. Ever notice how Sheamus is paler than The Undertaker? Bourne's calling out Sheamus. Wow. Bourne vs Sheamus? Squash it is. Cute...I just realized that Bourne stole the mic. Are we going to get a squash or the beginning of a mini feud?
Non-Title Match
WWE Champion SHEAMUS vs EVAN BOURNE
- "Little" Evan Bourne. I think we're really going to get a mini Bourne-Sheamus feud. Wow. If Bourne wins, he gets a shot at the Royal Rumble. Bourne dominating...Shooting Star! Sheamus kicks out. Broune goes up...Sheamus catches him...Scott Hall slam. Crowd is chanting "Cena"...I guess no one told them about the Fiesta Bowl. Crucifix Powerbomb. Nevermind. Thanks for coming, Evan.
Winner: SHEAMUS via pinfall after the OUTSIDER EDGE.
- Momentarily teased us with the Bourne win, which Sheamus couldn't have handled right now. Who's capable of challenging if Cena DOESN'T get the shot? Kofi?
- Michael Cole giving a mini tribute to "Dr. Death" Steve Williams. Classy. In Memory shot. I would have liked a video package, but they wouldn't have had any of his good footage. Still, thanks, WWE. As a Dr. Death fan, I appreciate that. I'm sure that was at least as much for Jim Ross' benefit as anything, but still.
- Batista vs Rey this Friday. I remember when I used to like Batista. Now I can't stand either one of them.
- Montreal Screwjob video package. Oh...the whole Bret video package again. Ah...in more detail, for those who aren't familiar. Not a bad idea.
KOFI KINGSTON vs RANDY ORTON
- Worth mentioning that I hate Orton, as well. Legacy is at ringside. DiBiase is a face by night's end. Does Blake Albright still do headlocks like Orton does? Kofi has some big leapfrogs. Stinger Splash! Orton clotheslined to the floor! Baseball slide dropkick! Kofi in control! Orton going for the hanging DDT, but Kofi blocks it and backdrops him to the floor! Going to commercials with Orton on the floor looking defensively at Legacy.
- Back with Orton locking on the side headlock. Holy crap...during the break, Orton shoved Kofi off the top to the barrier. Orton's dominating Kofi now, and Vince is up next to call out Bret. Hm. Kofi kicks Orton in the leg, but Orton barely sells it. He's back to beating Kofi down. Guillotine on the bottom rope! Ouch. Cody doesn't look impressed. Back to the headlock. Double down on a cross body block. Orton up first...Kofi with punches. HUGE dropkick! Kofi has some crazy jumps. Holy CRAP that was a big uppercut. Kofi's kinda cool. Kofi with his People's Elbow move...dive through the ropes on Orton! Legacy are up now...Kofi up top...cross body! Got two. RKO blocked! Cradle gets two! RKO blocked! Trouble in Paradise blocked! RKO! BOOO.
Winner: Randy Orton via pinfall after RKO.
- Cody looks like he's feigning disappointment, DiBiase looks legitimately disappointed. Not pulling the trigger yet? Good match...would have rather seen Kofi win.
- CM Punk and Mark Henry square off in the ECW Homecoming!
- Here comes Vince...
- No power strut tonight. At least seven minutes left. Aw. Vince wishes us a Happy New Year, and says he's not calling out Bret. Let's pray that the Montreal Incident really IS over. Tyson gets booed...nice. Here's Bret, no music! Hart Dynasty to lay out Bret? Vince backing off...ooh...Vince holding to the "Bret screwed Bret", but the crowd disagrees! Bret is pleased with Vince's mention of spitting at him and suckerpunching him. Bret's getting a mic. Bret's not saying "I'm Sorry". Bret's pushing for his own "I'm Sorry", I think. Vince is invoking Andre here...nice promo so far. The crowd sucks. Vince is putting Bret over pretty good here. Vince is announcing Stu for the Hall of Fame this year. Vince is totally setting up a screwjob...shaking Vince's hand. Kick to the nuts! "Thank You Vince" chants? Looks like Vince vs Bret for WrestleMania is on.
- Good Raw. It really wasn't incredibly loaded, either. Setting up some stuff for the run up to WrestleMania. Let's hope Impact was decent now. Disappointed that there was no Hart Dynasty, because I kept expecting them all night. Ah well.
Announced for Raw:
Bret Hart Returns
Unified Tag Team Titles: DX vs Jeri-Show
Randy Orton vs Kofi Kingston
8 Diva Tournament for the Diva's Title starts tonight, since Melina vacated the title due to injury.
Here goes...
- We are LIVE from Dayton, OH and Ted DiBiase says that EVERYONE'S Got A Price.
- Bret Hart montage! Focusing entirely on his WWE career. You did know he went to WCW, right? Where Goldberg kicked him in the head and ended his career? Vince didn't screw Bret. Bret screwed Bret. Uh-oh, HBK is teasing somethig happening to Bret!
- Will Bret be a heel or face? The Hart Dynasty are supposed to be here tonight, and they are heels...
- Crowd already chanting "We Want Bret" and they are rolling out the red carpet for him. Nice. I like how Vince has treated Bret and Jesse Ventura. I'm calling an HBK as Bret swerve.
- Is...that him? Bret looks rough. But my goodness, they are giving him a great reception.
- I take that back...he doesn't look as rough in the close ups.
- "Well, I guess Hell froze over." Nice. Bret's telling us why he's here tonight. Storyline reason is that Vince kept shutting him down every time he tried to come back, apparently. Not sure that's the version I've heard.
- "Welcome Back!"
- Bret DID get the memo to address them as the "WWE Universe".
- This is touching, but I sure wish Vince or Shawn would show up already. Nice! Dredging up history with Lawler!
- CALLING OUT SHAWN! HBK and BRET!
- I call handshake. Shawn looks mildly repentant. Awesome. HBK will do super psychological storytelling here, I have no doubt. I'm not a huge fan of either, BUT the spectacle of this is nice.
- Bret's calling for a truce? Shawn has the mic.
- HBK's teasing heel stuff. Uh-oh. He went there. HBK says Bret screwed Bret! He's admitted culpability in his actions! And he has to be a face tonight against Jeri-Show! Now Shawn's face turning on it.
- Shawn's referencing the Iron Man Match. Awww. Shawn's putting Bret over now...awww.
- Please dear GOD let this be the end of The Montreal Incident once and for all.
- Hand shake! Hart Dynasty's jumping Shawn? Crowd seems skeptical about the hand shake. But they popped for it. No sneak attack yet. Shawn's teasing the Superkick now...HUG!
- Huh. Nothing screwy. Awesome.
- Uh-oh. Oh, he's calling out Vince!
- Vince is too scared to come out? Nice. Crowd is FURIOUS. Awww...we don't get the confrontation yet.
- Orton vs Kingston, DX vs Jeri-Show, nice double header with no Cena here.
- I liked the opener...very classy with Bret and Shawn, teasing the tension but letting both guys save face. Plus, we get get the tease for Bret vs Vince later on. Not a bad start.
- Hall of Fame teaser: Announcing Stu Hart already? Guess not.
- Josh Matthew trying to talk to Vince. Nice, Vince "didn't know" Bret called him out. He was at a meeting. Vince now threatens to call Vince out later. Why can't they either get a new play by play man for ECW, or a new backstage guy for Raw so Josh isn't doing both?
- BOOOO! Melina is injured...Cole and Lawler just announced it.
Divas Tournament Match
MARYSE vs The Bella Twins...I mean, BRIE BELLA
- I forgot the Bellas wrestled. I hate Maryse. I hate her on the mic, her movements look awkward and forced, and she's nothing special in the looks department. This is awful so far. Mostly some bad hair pulls and pushes. Nice flying mare form Brie. Um...Nikki Bella attacks Maryse on the floor? I thought Maryse was the heel? Maryse is really going to beat two Bellas. God this is sloppy. Bellas did the switch, but Maryse outsmarts them and DDTs Nikki. I hate Maryse and I hate that booking on so many levels.
Winner: MARYSE via pinfall on Nikki after switch with the FRENCH KISS.
- MIZ is here to interrupt Maryse! They remember their old angle. Nice. Miz tells Maryse he might "call her back" uf she wins. She's clearly into The Miz now that he's a champion. Miz and Maryse to form a new MnM? Miz is here to commentate for a Fatal Fourway for a US Title Shot.
- First two are out: MVP and SWAGGER. I don't like MVP, a lot...love Swagger, though, and not just because he's Oklahoman. Off to commercials before we see who's next.
- I have a Bowflex...never use it though.
#1 Contender to the US Title
MVP vs JACK SWAGGER vs CARLITO vs MARK HENRY
- Uh-oh. Carlito and Henry got jobber entrances as the match started during the break...Henry took a post during the break and Carlito is dominating MVP and Swagger. Nice tilt a whirl from Swagger. Swagger dominating MVP now, but Carlito breaks up a pin. Nice...MVP Tivos Raw. Swagger kills Carlito with a corner charge...but Henry's back in! MVP and Henry! Holy crap...MVP with a World's Strongest Slam to the floor on MVP...remember when they were partners? Henry uses Carlito's legs to take out Swagger! Bear Hug on Carlito! Swagger breaks it! Fireman's carry on Swagger...reverse torture rack? MVP with a yakuza on Henry! Kicks Henry out of the ring! Carlito accidentally nails Swagger! Playmaker on Swagger! I hate that move AND MVP! BOOOO!
Winner: MVP via pinfall on Swagger after PLAYMAKER
- Not bad...would have rather seen Swagger win and NOT take the fall. Carlito's the only one that looked like a jobber there.
- Jeri-Show talking backstage, production miscue kills the audio at first. Not what you need to do when TNA is on the other channel. Jericho's going to offer Bret a "deal"...PLEASE don't give us a repeat of Montreal tonight...PLEASE.
- Ted DiBiase is in Marine 2, did you know?
- Bret is being harassed by...someone...here comes Jericho. Awww...sharing fond memories about Jericho mastering the Walls of Jericho in the Dungeon. Jericho's trying to play on Bret's pent-up hatred against Shawn...and he's trying to get Bret to be the referee, and relive Montreal...but Bret shuts him down! Nice pink locker room. AW. Bret slams Jericho, calling him a hypocrite! And he says Jericho cried harder than anyone else in the dungeon. Awwww.
- Triple H and Hornswoggle pimping the new Mattel action figures, complete with Raw ring. Hornswoggle doesn't get to play with the toys until DX wins. Nice. Tension between DX as HBK is being serious and Triple H is being goofy. HA!! SANTINO IS JERICHO! HYPNOCRATS! Awesome!!!! Hornswoggle is the attack dog on Santino! That's funnier than it should be. Nice...Hornswoggle's a dog now. Wow. I think the audience was offended.
- DX vs Jerishow is NEXT! I can't imagine Kofi vs Orton is the main, so Bret-Vince must be.
- Isn't there a WWE champion on this show? Nearly an hour in, and no mention of Sheamus.
- Over 2 million females watch Raw last week! Good for them.
Unified Tag Team Title Match, if DX Wins, Jericho Is Off Raw For Good, Or Until SuperShows Or The Draft
DX( TRIPLE H & HBK) w/HORNSWOGGLE(c) vs JERISHOW (CHRIS JERICHO & THE BIG SHOW)
- Sure would like to see Jerishow win. Jericho on Raw and Smackdown each week makes them much better. Well...BREAK THE WALLS DOWN. Jerishow is the best use of Big Show in years. C'mon...give us Jerishow vs Edge & Christian at WrestleMania. Show and HBK to start, and Hornswoggle is under the ring. Chops in the corner, except Show can't touch Shawn. Headbutt! Blind tag by HHH...Show suplexes both men! Commercial break as DX bails...
- The Rock is The Tooth Fairy. The Rock needs to guest host Raw. I was watching Rock/Austin clips this weekend.
- More ECW Homecoming tomorrow.
- Back from the break and Jericho is dominating HHH. Show in, HHH fighting back. Big slam crushes HHH, and Show stands on him. Hogan legdrop on HHH! Only gets two...silly Show, you can't pin a guy with a LEGDROP. Is it me, or do Show's punches always look like they don't actually hurt? Jericho standing on HHH on the middle rope...and he's doing the Hogan ear thing to the crowd. Nice. Cobra clutch variation on HHH...SPINEBUSTER by HHH! Double down! Going to the hot tag already? Tag to Show...no...he's cutting off HHH. Big slam...Vader Bomb time. Spending a long time gloating...he misses! Hot tag rush again! Tag to HBK! Weakest chops ever! Tiny forearm! Two of them! Basement dropkick takes Show down! Nails Jericho! Shawn goes for the elbow...Jericho cuts him off! Hornswoggle crushes Show, which REALLY shouldn't hurt. Cover...huge kickout. Tuning up the band...Show catches him! CHOKESLAM! HHH is lurking...HBK kicks out?! Seriously? Jericho in...Lionsault gets the knees...no! Walls of Jericho! No, he kicks free! Tag HHH! Pedigree! Show in! Spiked Pedigree on Show! DX in...Jericho shoves HHH into Shawn! School boy gets two! Codebreaker, but Jericho can't cover! Both men down! Show and HBK down on the floor! Count is at five...cover...HBK breaks a pin! Hornswoggle's back in! JERICHO kicks his head off! Pedigree gets turned into the Walls...Sweet Chin Music! No! NO! DX wins!
Winners and STILL Unified Tag Team Champions: DX after HHH pins Jericho following the SWEET CHIN MUSIC.
- Nice match, crappy finish. Raw really didn't need to lose Jericho...=( DX vs Kane and Undertaker for a while now? I thought Shawn and HHH hated working Tuesdays?
- Show's getting in the ring, Jericho's still laid out. HHH is telling Jericho goodbye. Raw is worse for it. HBK looks bothered by it. Maybe not. Booo..."Suck it." Show looks like he's going to kill Jericho...but he walks away. Now Show becomes a big, boring goof again and Jericho feuds with R-Truth on Smackdown. Crowd singing "Goodbye" to Jericho. Jericho with a dramatic walk away, slumping at the entrance...DX music kicks in when he leaves.
- Someone at McMahon's dressing toom...McMahon's not looking down...Orton. Orton's going to offer to take Bret out for Vince...in exchange for a title match, I would assume. Nice...Bret "walked out". Hm. Vince is pondering Orton's offer to kick Bret's skull in...not for a title shot...but for the #30 spot in the Rumble. But Vince shuts him down? Orton walks up to Legacy...Rhodes and DiBiase are flipping the tables on Orton...if Orton doesn't beat Kofi, he's out of Legacy! NICE! I call Kofi winning, DiBiase attacking Orton and Rhodes turning on him.
- Mike Tyson is guest host next week! I would imagine there will be some interaction with DX?
- Sheamus/Cena video package...Sheamus up next? Here he is...the guy so pale he makes me regret retiring from wrestling.
- Sheamus with a promo instead of a squash?
- Yawn. He's not defending the belt until the Rumble, and he's not taking on Cena...hmmmm...who's a credible challenge?
Evan...Bourne? Um. Wow. Maybe it IS time to end the brand split. Ever notice how Sheamus is paler than The Undertaker? Bourne's calling out Sheamus. Wow. Bourne vs Sheamus? Squash it is. Cute...I just realized that Bourne stole the mic. Are we going to get a squash or the beginning of a mini feud?
Non-Title Match
WWE Champion SHEAMUS vs EVAN BOURNE
- "Little" Evan Bourne. I think we're really going to get a mini Bourne-Sheamus feud. Wow. If Bourne wins, he gets a shot at the Royal Rumble. Bourne dominating...Shooting Star! Sheamus kicks out. Broune goes up...Sheamus catches him...Scott Hall slam. Crowd is chanting "Cena"...I guess no one told them about the Fiesta Bowl. Crucifix Powerbomb. Nevermind. Thanks for coming, Evan.
Winner: SHEAMUS via pinfall after the OUTSIDER EDGE.
- Momentarily teased us with the Bourne win, which Sheamus couldn't have handled right now. Who's capable of challenging if Cena DOESN'T get the shot? Kofi?
- Michael Cole giving a mini tribute to "Dr. Death" Steve Williams. Classy. In Memory shot. I would have liked a video package, but they wouldn't have had any of his good footage. Still, thanks, WWE. As a Dr. Death fan, I appreciate that. I'm sure that was at least as much for Jim Ross' benefit as anything, but still.
- Batista vs Rey this Friday. I remember when I used to like Batista. Now I can't stand either one of them.
- Montreal Screwjob video package. Oh...the whole Bret video package again. Ah...in more detail, for those who aren't familiar. Not a bad idea.
KOFI KINGSTON vs RANDY ORTON
- Worth mentioning that I hate Orton, as well. Legacy is at ringside. DiBiase is a face by night's end. Does Blake Albright still do headlocks like Orton does? Kofi has some big leapfrogs. Stinger Splash! Orton clotheslined to the floor! Baseball slide dropkick! Kofi in control! Orton going for the hanging DDT, but Kofi blocks it and backdrops him to the floor! Going to commercials with Orton on the floor looking defensively at Legacy.
- Back with Orton locking on the side headlock. Holy crap...during the break, Orton shoved Kofi off the top to the barrier. Orton's dominating Kofi now, and Vince is up next to call out Bret. Hm. Kofi kicks Orton in the leg, but Orton barely sells it. He's back to beating Kofi down. Guillotine on the bottom rope! Ouch. Cody doesn't look impressed. Back to the headlock. Double down on a cross body block. Orton up first...Kofi with punches. HUGE dropkick! Kofi has some crazy jumps. Holy CRAP that was a big uppercut. Kofi's kinda cool. Kofi with his People's Elbow move...dive through the ropes on Orton! Legacy are up now...Kofi up top...cross body! Got two. RKO blocked! Cradle gets two! RKO blocked! Trouble in Paradise blocked! RKO! BOOO.
Winner: Randy Orton via pinfall after RKO.
- Cody looks like he's feigning disappointment, DiBiase looks legitimately disappointed. Not pulling the trigger yet? Good match...would have rather seen Kofi win.
- CM Punk and Mark Henry square off in the ECW Homecoming!
- Here comes Vince...
- No power strut tonight. At least seven minutes left. Aw. Vince wishes us a Happy New Year, and says he's not calling out Bret. Let's pray that the Montreal Incident really IS over. Tyson gets booed...nice. Here's Bret, no music! Hart Dynasty to lay out Bret? Vince backing off...ooh...Vince holding to the "Bret screwed Bret", but the crowd disagrees! Bret is pleased with Vince's mention of spitting at him and suckerpunching him. Bret's getting a mic. Bret's not saying "I'm Sorry". Bret's pushing for his own "I'm Sorry", I think. Vince is invoking Andre here...nice promo so far. The crowd sucks. Vince is putting Bret over pretty good here. Vince is announcing Stu for the Hall of Fame this year. Vince is totally setting up a screwjob...shaking Vince's hand. Kick to the nuts! "Thank You Vince" chants? Looks like Vince vs Bret for WrestleMania is on.
- Good Raw. It really wasn't incredibly loaded, either. Setting up some stuff for the run up to WrestleMania. Let's hope Impact was decent now. Disappointed that there was no Hart Dynasty, because I kept expecting them all night. Ah well.
Saturday, January 2, 2010
Savage Ravenloft: The Half-Vistani
Half-Vistani
The products of human and Vistani breeding, half-Vistani (or giomorgo) are outcasts in human society and Vistani society as well. Half-Vistani take after their Vistani parents, with dark hair, dusky skin and angular features.
*Spiritually Connected: Half-Vistani retain some measure of their parent's sixth sense. This allows them to start with a d6 in Spirit.
*Child of Both Worlds: Half-Vistani don't fit in with humans or Vistani, and so have the Outsider hindrance.
*Moon Madness: On the three nights of the full moon, Half-Vistani lose the ability to heal without magical healing, and lose the ability to use any Arcane Background they may possess. In addition, they must succeed at a Spirit test or run wild for the three nights of the full moon.
*Survivors: All half-Vistani gain +1 to Survival checks, +2 if starting a fire is involved.
*Tribal Blood: Depending on the tribe the half-Vistani hails from, they gain an additional boon:
Canjar: Gain +1 on Spellcasting rolls and +2 on Knowledge (Arcana) rolls.
Corvara: Gain +2 on Lockpicking rolls and +1 on Notice rolls involving other people's motives.
Equaar: Gain +2 the Beast Master Edge and +1 Ride checks.
Kamii: Gain +2 on Repair checks and, with a Common Knowledge roll, can identify a metal and determine its origin.
Naiat: +2 on Perform checks, even if they don't have the Troubadour edge or Arcane Background (Miracles). As well, they are not subject to the Outcast hindrance as are other half-Vistani.
Vatraska: Gain the Healer edge and +1 on Knowledge, Common Knowledge or Survival edges involving herbs and herbalism.
Zarovan: At the start of each encounter, roll a d10. 1-4: No effect. 5-7: The half-Vistani gains the Quick edge for this combat. 8-10: The half-Vistani gains the Level Headed Edge for this combat. If they already have Level Headed, this becomes Improved Level Headed.
Half-Vistani are found in the Ravenloft Player's Guide. This work references the Savage Worlds Explorer's Edition and Savage Worlds Fantasy Companion.
If I get permission, I will be posting Gnomes here next, followed by a discussion on how Ravenloft modifies some of the available Edges your characters can take.
“This game references the Savage Worlds game system, available from Pinnacle Entertainment Group at www.peginc.com. Savage Worlds and all associated logos and trademarks are copyrights of Pinnacle Entertainment Group. Used with permission. Pinnacle makes no representation or warranty as to the quality, viability, or suitability for purpose of this product.”
The products of human and Vistani breeding, half-Vistani (or giomorgo) are outcasts in human society and Vistani society as well. Half-Vistani take after their Vistani parents, with dark hair, dusky skin and angular features.
*Spiritually Connected: Half-Vistani retain some measure of their parent's sixth sense. This allows them to start with a d6 in Spirit.
*Child of Both Worlds: Half-Vistani don't fit in with humans or Vistani, and so have the Outsider hindrance.
*Moon Madness: On the three nights of the full moon, Half-Vistani lose the ability to heal without magical healing, and lose the ability to use any Arcane Background they may possess. In addition, they must succeed at a Spirit test or run wild for the three nights of the full moon.
*Survivors: All half-Vistani gain +1 to Survival checks, +2 if starting a fire is involved.
*Tribal Blood: Depending on the tribe the half-Vistani hails from, they gain an additional boon:
Canjar: Gain +1 on Spellcasting rolls and +2 on Knowledge (Arcana) rolls.
Corvara: Gain +2 on Lockpicking rolls and +1 on Notice rolls involving other people's motives.
Equaar: Gain +2 the Beast Master Edge and +1 Ride checks.
Kamii: Gain +2 on Repair checks and, with a Common Knowledge roll, can identify a metal and determine its origin.
Naiat: +2 on Perform checks, even if they don't have the Troubadour edge or Arcane Background (Miracles). As well, they are not subject to the Outcast hindrance as are other half-Vistani.
Vatraska: Gain the Healer edge and +1 on Knowledge, Common Knowledge or Survival edges involving herbs and herbalism.
Zarovan: At the start of each encounter, roll a d10. 1-4: No effect. 5-7: The half-Vistani gains the Quick edge for this combat. 8-10: The half-Vistani gains the Level Headed Edge for this combat. If they already have Level Headed, this becomes Improved Level Headed.
Half-Vistani are found in the Ravenloft Player's Guide. This work references the Savage Worlds Explorer's Edition and Savage Worlds Fantasy Companion.
If I get permission, I will be posting Gnomes here next, followed by a discussion on how Ravenloft modifies some of the available Edges your characters can take.
“This game references the Savage Worlds game system, available from Pinnacle Entertainment Group at www.peginc.com. Savage Worlds and all associated logos and trademarks are copyrights of Pinnacle Entertainment Group. Used with permission. Pinnacle makes no representation or warranty as to the quality, viability, or suitability for purpose of this product.”
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