Tommy's Take on Lucha Libre USA 7/23/10

- Alright...Week 2 of LUCHA LIBRE USA!

- Solid is in the dressingroom with...Supernova?

- The mysterious lucha that attacked last week shows up and ticks off Solid. He's definitely American.  Lizmark Jr. attacks both men and leaves them laying.

- The ring girls head to the ring carrying US and Mexican flags.

- RJ Brewer has a prerecorded message and he's taking on Magno in the main event.

- Lizmark Jr. teams with the new guy, SydiStiko against Charley Malice and Supernova in the first round of the Tag Team Title Tournament.

LUJO ESQUIRE & OCTAGONCITO vs MISTERIOCITO & RELLIK

- Lujo Esquire was the guy in the video last week.  Huh.  Apparently he's a technico.  Rellik was known in WCW as Johnny the Bull.  He had a short run in TNAas Rellik, as well.  The minis are starting off.  Octagoncito takes Misteriocito down but misses a dropkick.  Lots of armdrags.  Lujo Esquire amd Rellik enter the ring, Rellik shrugging off attacks.  Lujo's a little taller, Rellik's bigger.  Esquire ducks a clothesline, Rellik ducks a big boot and hits the flying shoulder!  The minis dive on the big men, and each mini gets caught and rammed into the ringpost.  Esquire gets the upperhand in the ring...but Rellik hits a superkick!  Ground and pound on Esquire and he's biting him!  Snap suplex by Rellik.  He's wearing a heavy elbow brace.  Misteriocito is attacking Lujo Esquire, to no avail, but Rellik attacks.  Irish whip into the corner and Esquire runs up the buckles!  Huge elbow!  Boot to Misteriocito!  The technicos dive onto the heels!  Octagoncito with a cross body on Misteriocito, but Misteriocito rolls through!  Kickout!  Octagoncito with an Onryo Clutch!  He gets the pin!

Winners: LUJO ESQUIRE & OCTAGONCITO via pinfall on MISTERIOCITY (Onryo Clutch)

- Okay match...the minis looked sloppy and the big guys lacked any real energy.

- The technicos are still celebrating after the break.

- Backstage interviewer Rebecca Reyes is interviewing SydiStiko, who claims that he didn't touch Solid.

- Charley Malice is checking on Super Nova, who is coming to the ring for the match tonight.

SYDISTIKO & LIZMARK JR. vs SUPER NOVA & CHARLEY MALICE

- Remember when Lizmark Jr. was a cruiserweight?  Charley Malice was known in Mexico as Charley Manson and looks a LOT like Marilyn Manson.  Super Nova is still selling his injuries.  Malice and SydiStiko to start.  Quick reversals and Sydistiko goes down.  Sydistiko goes to the eyes!  Super Nova and Lizmark in the ring now, and Lizmark takes him down and hits a legdrop!  The rudos are taking over, choking Super Nova in the ropes and beating Malice down in the corner.  Seated dropkick on Malice.  Lizmark sets Super Nova in the ropes and kicks him in the hamstring!  Rudos must be booking this company because the technicos always look weak.  Sydistiko sends Malice out of the ring and dominates Super Nova.  Super Nova rallies against Sydistiko and then Lizmark!  Malice and Super Nova take Lizmark down!  Super Nova dives on him!  Sydistiko attacks Malice, but Malice gets the upperhand with a dropkick!  Cross body!  Sydistiko bails and Malice dives onto him!  Malice attacks Lizmark!  Double team on Sydistiko!  Rellik comes out and distracts Malice!  Sydistiko sends Super Nova into Malice, knocking him out of the ring!  Lizmark with a tilt-a-whirl slam on Super Nova!!

Winners: SYDISTIKO & LIZMARK JR via pinfall on SUPER NOVA (tilt a whirl slam)

- Is Rellik aligned with Lizmark and Sydistiko, who is aligned with Tinieblas Jr and Neutronic?

- Good match other than the faces spending too much time looking like tools.

- Back from the break and Lizmark and Sydistiko are still beating on Super Nova!  Malice in with the save...but he's being beat down!  Marco Corleone making the save!

- Recap of Tigressa Caliente powerbombing Mini Park for Chi Chi to score the pin.

- Chi Chi and Tigressa are working out when Mini Park shows up confronting Tigressa.  She's ignoring him.  Now she attacks Mini Park and beats him down!  Rebeccca Reyes is interviewing her next.

- Apparently Reyes doesn't watch the show.  Tigressa calls Mini Park annoying.  Luckily, she didn't want to kill Mini Park, just hurt him.

- Nice patriotic video by RJ Brewer.  "I cut lawns, because I wanted to, not because I had to."  He's implying that his mom is Governor Jan Brewer.  RJ Brewer: Building Fences, Not Bridges.

- He confronts Magno and a couple of other technicos.  "I'm dressed like a pro wrestler, you're dressed like you're going to a circus."  Brewer takes a swing at Magno who ducks and tosses some obviously worked punches and kicks.  Apparently they are brawling to the ring.

- Yup.  The fight is spilling out into the stage.  Magno dives off the stage onto Brewer!

MAGNO vs RJ BREWER

- Springboard somersault senton onto Brewer!  Magno is dominating!  Scoop slam!  Magno is working the crowd.  Standing moonsault!  Irish whip by Brewer and Magno flips over the top rope!  Tries to fancy his way back in and Brewer spikes him.  Benoit like elbow.  Big suplex by Brewer.  Magno rallies back with kicks and punches!  Sleeperhold is countered with a back suplex!  Brewer is going up top...no!  He refuses!  Choking Magno instead!  Brewer rolls through a sunset flip and gets a sharpshooter!  Magno is fighting to the ropes!  He gets it!  He's going after the mask now!  Brewer hammers Magno down!  Untying the mask!  Ref keeps warning him off!  European uppercut.  Flapjacl out of nowhere by Magno!  Some odd clotheslines.  High hiptoss!  Brewer stops Magno with an elbow, but Magno backdrops him when he charges!  Magno moonsaults over Brewer and hits a tilt a whirl backbreaker!  Ropeflip moonsault gets two!  Magno is frustrated as he pulls Brewer up...German Suplex reversals...ref goes down!!  Clothesline by Brewer!  Ref is down!  Brewer has a chair!  Not even a folding one!  He misses with the chair!  Magno throws his mask at Brewer and covers his face!  Referee disqualifies Brewer for mask removal!

Winner: MAGNO by DQ (faked mask removal)

- Classic Eddie Guerrero stuff, just with a mask.  Decent stuff.

- Heavyweight title tournament continues next week.

- Either the crowd is dead or not mic'ed very well.  The announcers are corny, but the wrestlers are clearly putting a strong effort in.

Tommy's Take on Lucha Libre USA 7/16/10

- Alright...decided I'm gonna give this a shot: The first episode of Lucha Libre USA!  MTV2 has said that they will run it for 52 weeks, but we'll see.  I watched the preview special, and I know some of the guys, but not all of them.

- Here we go.

- Apologies in advance if my play by play really sucks.

- I don't care for the voice over announcer.

- Show opens with a montage of the guys in the ring andd some action shots.

- Ring girls are coming to the ring carrying flags.

- MASCARITA DORADA & MINI PARK will be taking on PEQUENO HALLOWEEN and CHI CHI (formerly Kwee Wee in WCW).

- Chi Chi is an "exotico", which is basically a crossdressing male competing as a woman.  The rest are minis.

- The main event is MARCO CORLEONE (formerly Mark Jindrak) versus TINIEBLAS JR. in the Title tournament.  That's kinda odd, because they made it sound in the preview like Corleone was the top face and Tinieblas the top heel.  Having them in the first round of the tournament seems...interesting.

- Nigel Sherrod and Lalo Gonzalez are the commentators.

- We do have a six sided ring.

EL ORIENTAL, EL LIMON & NEUTRONIC vs PUERTO RICAN POWERS (San Juan Kid & PR Flyer) & MASCARA PURPURA

- El Limon trying to flip the audience off got blurred.  Neutronic got an entrance video.  I have no idea which is which in the PR Powers.  Purpura is the captain for the technicos and Neutronic for the rudos, I believe.  Gonzalez is doing the heel announcer thing.  The captains are starting off with some chain wrestling.  Armdrag by Purpura.  Odd takeover by Neutronic but a nice elbow.  They are discussing the rules differences.  You must pin the captain OR both of the other two members.  This is odd...it's like lucha in slow motion.  Purpura with a...450 arm drag?  El Oriental and El Limon jump Purpura when Neutronic powders.  Three on one!  They whip Neutronic into Purpura, and then he whips Purpura into a double elbow from them!  Rudos standing tall.  PR Flyer enters the ring...into a three on one.  El Limon suplexes PR Flyer.  El Oriental and Neutronic take turns with top rope splashes!  San Juan Kid jumps in...to a three on one.  Double flapjack on San Juan Kid and he eats a triple dropkick.  Purpura jumps in...to a three on one.  Alright.

Awesome!  Purpura flips past them and gets caught for a face eraser by Neutronic, but El Limon and El Oriental charge and he ducks, so they nail Neutronic!  He cartwheels past them and takes out Neutronic with a headbutt!  Puerto Rican Powers off the top with a dropkick and a cross body on Limon and Oriental!  Purpura with a twisting skytwister on Neutronic!  Technicos standing tall!  El Oriental takes out both PR Powers!  He holds them for an El Limon dropkkick, but they move and Oriental eats the dropkicks!  The rudos bail and the technicos dive on them!

Neutronic takes ovver on Purpura after a slow attack.  Drop toe hold into the ccorner by Purpura!  Neutronic takes over but misses a stinger splash!  Nice spinebuster!  Purpura is up top...Shooting Star Press but Oriental and Limon are in!  Taking apart the PR Powers!  Huh.  You don't see faces whipped into each other very often.  Technicos take the Rudos down, but misses dives off the top!  Limon with a senton and Oriental with a German Suplex!  Rudos win!

Winners: EL ORIENTAL, EL LIMON & NEUTRONIC via pinfall (Diving Senton and German Suplex)

- The technicos were REALLY rough.  Purpura moves like he's in slow motion.  Oriental and Limon looked pretty good, though.  The technicos were made to look like crap, but I think that may be because they are.

- Back from the break and the rudos are still celebrating, and we get some replays.

- A promo from RJ Brewer of Phoenix, Arizona (get it?) he's an anti illegal immigration heel.  I don't think MTV2 realizes that most of the country, according to EVERY poll, supports that law.

MINI PARK & MASCARITA DORADA vs PEQUENO HALLOWEEN & CHI CHI (w/Tigressa Caliente)

- Mini Park is the mini version of LA Park, formerly known as La Parka.  I'm not sure if Pequeno Halloween is much shorter than full sized Halloween.  Chi Chi came out to "Bad Romance".  I believe Tigressa Caliente is the former Rhaka Khan.  Halloween and Dorada starting it off.  Halloween with a nice armbar, but Dorada with a leg scissors and flips him over!  Big armdrag and armbar by Dorada!  Halloween fights up, getting Dorada on his shoulder, but gets taken over!  Again!  Halloween twists it into a pinning position!  Halloween misses corner charge and Dorada gets a springboard armdrag!  Body attack!  He springboards from the bottom rope to the top rope and into the ring on Halloween!  Mini Park is in with Chi Chi!  La Park is dancing and Chi Chi attacks!  Chi Chi is having trouble attacking Mini Park and she loses her wig!  Pequeno Halloween in and taking out Mini Park!  Park fights him off but eats a clothesline.  Mini Park directs Halloween to the floor!  Baseball slide!  Dorada with a cross body on Chi Chi!  She catches him with a boot.  Suplex attempt, but Dorada counters with a sunset flip!  Big DDT by Dorada!  Halloween wipes out Dorada!  Dorada with a springboard shoulderblock!  Dorada goes around the world on Halloween and then takes him down!  Asai moonsault!  Chi Chi attacks Mini Park!  Huracanrana by Park!  Tigressa attacks Park!  Powerbomb!!  Chi Chi scores the pin!

Winners: PEQUENO HALLOWEEN & CHI CHI via pinfall on Mini Park (Tigressa Powerbomb)

- MUCH crisper than the last match.  Everyone looked like they know what they were doing, even if Chi Chi didn't do much more than kick and preen.

- Replays from the last match.

- Promo for Lujo Esquire, who apparently is loaded.

- Marco Corleone is doing pushups with his tubby sidekick when Tinieblas Jr. and Neutronic confront them and talk trash.  Corleone doesn't look pleased with his pudgy buddy.  They gave the guy's name on the preview special, but didn't mention him on the show today.

Lucha Libre USA Championship Tournament
TINIEBLAS JR (w/Neutronic) vs MARCO CORLEONE (w/Solid)

- Easily the two biggest guys we've seen so far.  Tinieblas takes Corleone down.  Corleone with a slow springboard clothesline.  Tinieblas Jr. cuts the knee out.  Abdominal stretch...but Corleone reverses!  Tinieblas attacks!  Neutronic attacks from behind!  Solid "humorously" fails to get in the ring because he's too fat.  Tinieblas is in control thanks to the double teaming.  Corleone fights back but eats a pump kick!  Tinieblas Jr. is taunting the crowd.  Snap mare and a kick to the chest!  Fireman's carry...dumps him in the corner and hits a splash.  This thing is a squash so far.  Corleone drops Tinieblas!  But Tinieblas catches the Drop of Darkness (Edge-o-matic).  Corleone with a desperation kick.  Solid attacks Neutronic!  Neutronic and Tinieblas bail out but Corleone dives on them!  Neutronic gets involved and slows Corleone down, but Solid attacks again!  School boy by Corleone!  That's it!

Winner: MARCO CORLEONE via pinfall (school boy)

- Lizmark Jr. superkicks Corleone!  A fourth, unidentified rudo attacks as well!  We apparently have a heel faction!

- Next week, the tag team title tournament begins!

- Okay show.  The tag match with the minis and Chi Chi was the best.  Corleone got made to look like weak against Tinieblas even though he went over.  The technicos in the opener were very, very rough though Purpuras had moments that looked good.