Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Tommy's Take on: ECW 1/2/10

My ECW viewing was delayed by the awesomeness of LOST, which began its final season last night.

On this week's ECW?  Former ECW Heavyweight Champion VINCE MCMAHON will be here.

- Normal WWE intro.

- McMahon will be discussing the FUTURE of Tuesday Nights!

- Crap.  Abraham Washington show with Christian.  CRAP.  I hate this schtick.  A lot.

- Sorry...tuning out through this.  Something about Washington replacing Conan or something.  Atlas did get off a remark about Washington not being good enough to replace Conan.

- Points out that Christian is the longest reigning WWECW champion.

- ZACK RYDER~!  Rosa Mendes is kinda attractive when her ugly tattoo is covered.

- Ryder throws up Hurricane's mugshot!  ON CAMERA BURIAL!

- Christian with a nice retort about how Helms made it on TMZ and Ryder hasn't, and people actually recognize Helms.  Sticking up for Helms.  Zings Abraham's talk show as well!  HA!  "I made a mistake agreeing to be on Abe's talk show."  Christian is kinda funny tonight.  HA!  Calls Rosa "Tila Tequila"!


- Push comes to shove, and Abraham and Atlas get between Christian and Ryder.

SHELTON BENJAMIN vs VANCE ARCHER

- Oh, goody.  Shelton may be an uncharismatic spotmonkey, but at least he doesn't suck.  Shelton brawling at the beginning.  Dive to the floor!  Over the top, without the aid of the ropes!  Archer with a cheap shot coming in.  Archer should have used his signing bonus to get rid of his tramp stamp.  Sleeper Hold...Shelton with a back drop!  Shelton dives off the apron, into the barrier!  Commercials.

- Back from the break and Archer has Shelton grounded.  Attacking the sternum.  All black people look the same to Josh Matthews.  SU-PLAY on Shelton.  He was working the sternum...why does he have an armbar on him now?  Shelton fights back...and runs into a side slam.  Near fall.  Shelton totally needs to not lose.  This match is kinda boring...Archer misses a knee in the corner!  Chop block by Shelton!  Shelton is working the leg now.  This match is ugly as crap.  Neckbreaker by Shelton!  Wow...just an UGLY exchange in the corner.  Looks like an adlibbed finish because Archer grabbed the ropes right in front of the ref.

Winner: VANCE ARCHER via pinfall (school boy with feet on the ropes)

- Archer is AWFUL...and Shelton is decent.  Wrong result on so many levels.

- Bret-Vince recap.

- Apparently WWE is going to acknowledg the Cena chants from the end of Raw.  Yup...they had a huge confrontation post-Raw, and we will see it Friday.

- Christian vs Ryder tonight!

YOSHI TATSU (w/Goldust) vs TRENT BARETTA (w/Caylen Croft)

- So...if Goldust faces Croft last week, they will have done every combo, right?  Hm.  Just not feeling this match tonight.  Tatsu is very energetic tonight.  Baretta cheapshots Tatsu from the ropes.  Beating Tatsu down.  Good energy, but the match feels irrelevant.  Yoshi goes up top...Baretta cuts him off!  Fighting on the ropes...Baretta huracanrana, Tatsu rolls through but Baretta rolls through!  Kickout!  Baretta argues with the ref...and eats a buzzsaw kick!

Winner: YOSHI TATSU via pinfall (Buzzsaw Kick)

- Heeeeeerer's Vince!  He goes straight to the "ECW is dead" annnouncement.  He thanks the crew and wrestlers...er, superstars.  Wow...that was short and sweet.

- I would have let Ryder kill it, frankly.

- Gregory Helms is in the ring to interview Ezekiel Jackson with William Regal.  Hey, Josh, he's not unstoppable if he's been stopped.

- Regal immediately derails the interview, bagging on Helms.  Suckerpunch on Helms!  The crowd is dead for this beatdown!  This is the most heatless two on one beatdown I have ever seen.

- Christian is here with a kendo stick!  Crowd wakes up!

CHRISTIAN vs ZACK RYDER (w/Rosa Mendes)

- So is Christian still feuding with Jackson?  Trading shoulderblocks.  Ryder with a cheap shot.  Some of these guys are so screwed when they get folded into Raw and Smackdown.  Christian runs into Ryder's shoulder!  Drops his face on the mat!  Dropkick to the floor!  Christian hammers Ryder and goes for a dropkick, but Ryder catches the legs and guillotines him on the bottom rope!  Rough Ryder!  Christian fighting him off and going up...Ryder cuts him off!  Fighting up top and Ryder is down...cross body block!  Christian is getting fired up.  Bowls through Ryder!  Flapjack!  Christian is looking for his peeps!  Choking Ryder in the ropes and floats to the floor with a cheap shot!  Dropkick!  Sunset flip...countered!  Christian barely kicks out!  Christian with a kick in the corner and flying uppercut!  Killswitch!  Jackson attacks Christian!

Winner: Christian via DQ

- Regal is here as well and its two on one!  Jackson rams Christian into the steps!

- I would rather have seen Christian vs Ryder as thhe "final" feud.  Not a great show, as the one good match was the main, and it was a backdrop to the Jackson-Christian feud.