- I'm gonna recap the first night of TNA's move to Monday nights, I think. On the Road to Wrestlemania, I think that guest host concept feels very, very out of place. I mean, you have all this earth shaking stuff like UT-HBK, Cena-Batista, Vince-Bret...and we're supposed to care about Criss Angel?
- Standard WWE opening.
- Undertaker is here to counter whatever TNA is opening with!! I am genuinely lost on who is going to win Career Vs Streak. Undertaker stumbled a bit on the mmic. Looks like his nose has been busted a bit, too. Pretty basic promo.
- Shawn Michaels is here!
- Shawn admits that losing to UT last year has been hanging over him like a dark cloud...but he's had an epiphany now. Shawn thinks that UT interfering last week is a sign that UT is showing fear against HBK. Is Shawn doing "Fear" like Edge does "Spear"?
- Shawn says that "Nothing last forever"...which holds true no matter who loses, I guess. Undertaker thinks HBK is desperate. HBK denies it. He says he wants it pinfalls or submissions only, no DQ or countout! He also says he will kick UT's teeth down his throat!
- Undertaker agrees! UT says that he sees that HBK believes he can win at Wrestlemania! Undertaker is vowing to opening the gates of Hell to unleash a fury that no mortal man has ever seen! HBK looks momentarily stunned...but recovers.
- The crowd is split with these guys. The confrontation ends without anyone coming to blows.
- Not a newsworthy opening segment, but a solid promo exchange from two old pros.
- Orton vs Legacy tonight.
- Cena vs Vince tonight, as well.
- We have DIvAS. Eve is the new top Diva, as its her music bringing her, Gail Kim and Kelly Kelly to the ring.
- Heel divas get jobber entrances.
EVE, KELLY KELLY & GAIL KIM vs MARYSE, ALICIA FOX & KATIE LEA BURCHILL
- Fox and Gail to start. Fox with some quick strikes, but Gail kills her on the ropes. She clotheslines Katie Lea out of nowhere, but Fox cuts her off. Maryse tags in. Maryse cheap shots Kelly Kelly, but Gail knocks Maryse silly. Eve is in and taking it to Maryse! Maryse goes to the eyes. Eve with a kick and slams her to the mat! Somersault senton! Heels break it up. Gail Kim and Kelly Kelly clean house! Maryse with a huge slap, but Eve with an armbar off the ropes! Maryse taps!
Winners: EVE, KELLY KELLY & GAIL KIM via submission on Maryse (Cross armbreaker off the ropes)
- Decent enough for the divas.
- Criss Angel and Hornswoggle are backstage and here come The Bellas, who want to be his assistants...but he doesn't use twins. He pulls a thread off of one of them...and sticks it in his mouth...and he's pulling it through his eye! That's...creepy. Here comes Jillian Hall. And...she's gonna sing. He gets pop of the night when he makes her voice disappear!
- ShowMiz! Apparently they are taking on Smackdown's R-Truth and John Morrison in a WrestleMania preview. Um...wouldn't it be smarter to, like, have a singles match with partners at ringside or something?
SHOWMIZ vs R-TRUTH & JOHN MORRISON
- Miz is cutting a promo on his way to the ring. Doubting that R-Truth and Morrison really "earned" their title shot last week. Miz compares them to Lex Luger and The British Bulldog. Miz is...trashing the lack of a tag team division? How do the writers write this and not realize what they are doing? Here's Morrison...crap...separate introductions. That practically proves Miz' point. They are all over Miz! They drop Show! Miz is clotheslined out of the ring and double baseball slide! Big Show attacks on the floor! Referee calls for the bell...but they post him! Double DDT on the floor! They suplex Miz across the guardrail!
NO CONTEST
- Morrison cuts a promo, saying they just proved how "real" they are.
- Interesting booking.
- Reminders of the main events.
- cena is here NEXT. Not NXT. NEXT.
- Recap of Batista killing Cena.
- Cena is here! Apparently Cena is admitting he can't beat Batista...wait, no...he's playing along. Cena is "counting on" Batista's involvement.
- Wait...Evan Bourne is taking on William Regal in a Money in the Bank match...no Kofi? Skip Sheffield is here with Regal, and Regal is berating him! Angel is going to "read Regal's mind". That was...pointless. Angel "read Regal's mind" to find out the number Regal picked.
- DiBiase turning on Orton recap.
LEGACY vs RANDY ORTON
- Orton attacks them from behind! He's all over Cody! I thought I saw DiBiase running down, where was the attack? WWe go to commercials with Orton gaining the psychological edge.
- Match officially starts. DiBiase and Rhodes must tag. Rhodes attacks Orton in the corner. Orton fires up all over Rhodes. Big elbow. DiBiase tags. DiBiase cuts Orton off with a kick...Orton with a huge clothesline. Legacy are getting frustrated. AWESOME. Lawler gives Cole the "Two Rules of Success: 1. Never tell everything you know." It takes Cole almost a full minute to get it. Heel double teaming. Rhodes beats Orton down and goes for the cover, to no avail. Rhodes gets sent over the top! DiBiase sneaks in, but Orton senses him! Commercials.
- Orton is fighting out of the corner as we return from the break. Clothesline on Rhodes! Jawbreaker by Cody and hhe throws Orton out, but Orton nails DiBiase! He starts to come back in, but DiBiase yanks him off the apron! Rhodes goes after Orton and the crowd breaks into a big "Randy" chant. Both men are in after a tag, beating on Orton. Orton fights out of a chinlock, but DiBiase with the blindside clothesline! Rhodes with a dropkick off a DiBiase irish whip. Rhodes channels Bob Holly with a rope-draped kick on Orton! Tag to Ted. Double corner whip. This match has officially gone on too long for me. Orton fires back onn both men. Powerslam on Ted. One on Cody. Beatdown on DiBiase. Ted with a cheap kick, but Orton with the 3.0! He's staring at the Wrestlemania sign. And now he's calling for the RKO...Cody in! Orton kicks him off! DREAM STREET!
Winners: LEGACY via pinfall (DREAM STREET by DiBiase)
- A loss there would have KILLED Legacy.
- Post match beatdown! CROSS RHODES! They do the Orton pose over his body!
- Batista is backstage. Batista is calling Cena paranoid. Batista gives his word that he will not interfere tonight. Hm.
- Triple H is WALKING.
- AUSTIN will be here next week!
- Ooh...I may have to DVR Justified.
- Triple H is HERE.
- Recap of Sheamus attacking him last week. Note: Triple H eliminated Sheamus from the Elimination Chamber.
- This, presumably, will set up their match at Wrestlemania. Triple H respects the sneak attack. Sheamus wastes no time interrupting!
- He takes the mic from Triple H! Apparently he's moving straight to the Wrestlemania challenge. Triple H is putting over Sheamus' rookie year. Triple H brings up his Wrestlemania squash at the hands of Ultimate Warrior, without naming names, and basically implies that the same will happen to Sheamus. I think he's quoting Eminem lyrics now. He drives home that Sheamus had better be sure before he decides to face Triple H. He goes for a cheap shot, but Hunter sends him over the ropes! Sheamus attacks him on the floor, but misses a pump kick! Clothesline over the rail! Triple H is all over Sheamus! Sheamus sends him into the table! Spinebuster in the ring! Sheamus bais to avoid the Pedigree!
- Decent undercard build.
- Criss Angel and Santino Marella is backstage. HA! Santino rags on the "liberal media" while talking about Harry Houdini. Angel is doing another magic trick. Santino is hiding a sushi knife under a cup. Angel is going to find it, apparently, but judging how tense Santino gets when he moves his hand over the cup. That was...pointless.
- David Otunga is apparently getting heavy focus tomorrow on NXT. I will recap.
- Money in the Bank Qualifier!
Money in the Bank Qualifier
EVAN BOURNE vs WILLIAM REGAL (w/Skip Sheffield)
- Christian and Heath Slater are at ringside, with Christian on commentary! Seriously? No Kofi? Bourne looks like he gives a little respectful bow to Christian. Regal's music is awesome. Regal takedown and kick. This looks oddly sloppy. Neither man is that sloppy. Bourne kicks away! Huge forearm by Regal! Butterfly suplex by Regal! T-Bone! Bourne with a knee out of nowhere! Shooting Star Press!
Winner: EVAN BOURNE via pinfall (SHOOTING STAR PRESS)
- Well...wow.
- Wrestlemania Recall shows Austin stun Goldberg and Lesnar.
- Jericho needs to beat Edge...=(
- Vince-Bret video package.
- Wrestlemania Rewind matches: Cena vs Big Show and HBK vs Jericho...and Triple H vs Orton, as well as Austin presiding over Vince-Bret contract signing. Goodbye TNA.
- Seriously? Criss Angel is the ring announcer?
JOHN CENA vs MR. MCMAHON
- I notice Vince has sleeves now. Vince is gonna "break" Cena. He has the mic! He's mocking Bret. ? This is a handicap gauntlet match? Vladimer Kozlov! Cena on the attack, but Kozlov with a powerslam! Headbutts! Iron Curtain! That was a finisher in ECW! Vince tags in...two count! He calls out Drew McIntyre! McIntyre is all over Cena! Huge stomp! Flatliner! Vince is in! Apparently guys are gone when Vince tags in. At least Cena's not pinning everyone. Jack Swagger storms the ring! Commercials.
- Swagger can't see Cena! Five Knuckle Shuffle! Swagger counters the Attitude Adjustment! Oklahoma Stampede! Running Vader Bomb! Swagger keeps stopping short of the tag..no, there it is. Cena kicks out again! Another cover...kickout again! Mark Henry? Apparently Henry is being FORCED into this. He's not happy at all about it. World's Strongest Slam! Vince wants the tag and gets it! Kickout! Vince gets the mic and the ring bell! He makes it no DQ as he heads to the ring with the bell...Mark Henry begs him off...Vince hands the bell to Mark! He tells Mark to do it! Mark says no and drops it! Batista spears Henry! Kicks him to the floor! KOFI!!! KOFI UNLOADS ON BATISTA!!! NO! POWERBOMB! Cena fights up! Clothesline! Vince is trying to hide the ring belll. He drops it. Attitude Adjustment? No! He drops him as Batista runs in with the spear! BATISTA BOMB! That gets the cover!
Winner: MR. MCMAHON via pinfall (BATISTA BOMB)
- Vince does the Bret strut.
- Batista stands over Cena. He gets the spotlight as he stands over the broken Cena.
- Not a bad show. Solid build to Wrestlemania. Is Kofi seriously not getting ANYTHING to do?
The Proof Is In the Fun
Showing posts with label Raw. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Raw. Show all posts
Monday, March 8, 2010
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
Tommy's Take on: WWE Monday Night Raw 2/1/10
MONDAY NIGHT RAW~! with WILLIAM SHATNER~!
Okay...so I called it on Mickie, and Sheamus...and nothing else. Miz beat MVP in an unscheduled match, but I am making my prediction NOW for WrestleMania: Christian remains champion until WM, where Zack Ryder beats him and "kills" ECW.
Of note: Edge returned last night and won the Rumble. HBK turned on Triple H, and Beth Phoenix entered the Rumble and eliminated Khali.
Tonight: Bret Hart returns as The Road To WrestleMania BEGINS!
- In memory of Oklahoma's own Jack Brisco. Rest In Peace.
- EDGE~!
- Mixed reaction? He had a solid babyface reaction last night, I hear. And apparently he was wrestling HEAVILY taped. Hopefully that doesn't come back to bite him. Not sure I want to see Edge as a face.
- Yeah, crowd's not giving him a full face reaction at all.
- Edge sounds a bit like a heel here...lets see how this plays out. Small "Edge, Edge, Edge" chant. Shouldn't this angle be on Smackdown? Edge is stumbling all over his words here.
- Dennis Miller joke.
- Anyone think that rushing back from an injury is a good idea for Edge?
- Edge needs a heel out here, fast.
- Edge vs UT, Streak vs Streak would be HUGE. Notice how Christian isn't even a WM option?
- Weak promo. I've never been an Edge hater, but I can't say he's thrilled me being back.
- Sheamus interrupts!
- Sheamus is getting a strong enough reaction, I think. Yeah...the crowd timing on boos is heel heat, not X-Pac heat.
- I think Cena's coming out. Maybe even Orton.
- Good, strong promo by Sheamus so far. Here comes the full face turn, I think. Careful, Sheammus...Edge IS fragile.
- Cheap shot! He's stalking Edge...takedown by Edge! They're going at it! Spear? Yuck...Edge has a crappy new tattoo on his forearm. But he does hit the spear.
- Elimination Chamber promo, as that is the next PPV.
- John Cena is WALKING! Tonight, Elimination Chamber qualifiers. Good call.
Elimination Chamber Qualifier
JOHN CENA vs CODY RHODES
- Legacy completely imploded last night. I expect Ted to interfere, but accidentally blast Rhodes. Either way, Cena is going on. Rhodes takes over right away. HUGE Cena chant. Cody getting a little amateur. Neckbreaker. Kneedrop...the camera accidentally caught that it missed. Flying shoulderblocks. Protobomb reversed into a roll-up! Protobomb! Five Knuckle Shuffle!! Rhodes fights out of the Attitude Adjustment. Wow! Release gourdbuster! Nice. Moonsault set up...hit! Lawler keeps calling Rhodes "Orton". ATTITUDE ADJUSTMENT!
Winner: JOHN CENA via pinfall (ATTITUDE ADJUSTMENT)
- Elimination Chamber: SHEAMUS vs JOHN CENA vs ? vs ? vs ? vs ?
- Every match tonight is a qualifier...I thought Maryse was facing Gail Kim tonight?
- Bret-McMahon package.
- Vince is backstage blowing off the idea that Bret will show. Someone's in the office with him...we're supposed to think it's Bret, but we're getting SHATNER~!
- YES! Pop for that.
- Shatner seems uncomfortable, which surprises me. Says he can't wait for Hart to embarrass Vince.
Elimination Chamber Qualifier
JACK SWAGGER vs TRIPLE H
- Ouch. Let the burial begin. Hunter seems to be lacking DX colors. Swagger takes Triple H down. Rolling him around the ring. Good heat for Swagger. Right cross! Knee offense! Clothesline over the rope! Commercials.
- Spin-around DDT by Swagger! Big elbowdrop. Legdrop. Abdominal stretch into a takedown. Triple H sends Swagger to the floor. Awkward spot getting back in the ring. Swagger slam on Triple H. Something's gone off the rails here. Triple H clearly callinng the audible here on Swagger. Vader Bomb gets knees! Hunter unloads. Knee offense! Spinebuster! Pedigree blocked! I want to like this match, but its just missing...something. I'm not sure who to blame. I hate to say it, but take it home, please. PEDIGREE!
Winner: TRIPLE H via pinfall. (PEDIGREE)
- Elimination Chamber: SHEAMUS vs JOHN CENA vs TRIPLE H vs ? vs ? vs ?
- Kofi, Orton and...DiBiase?
- Orton vs HBK is NEXT!
- The Shat?
- Shatner is backstage...doing dramatic readings of WWE lyrics! Starts with HBK! Awesome. Cena! Rey Mysterio! This is brilliant. Hilarious.
- HBK is sulking backstage. Triple H wants to talk...Hornswoggle is here. Triple H shoos him off. Triple H
isn't holding a grudge about last night, acknowledging that he would have done the same. Awesome. Triple H is trying to get Shawn to get into the Chamber so they can face each other at WM.
Elimination Chamber Qualifier
RANDY ORTON vs SHAWN MICHAELS
- Orton should go to TNA. Then I stop recapping TNA and its all good. Commercials before HBK comes out.
- WWE Rewind showing Rhodes costing Orton the match by getting him DQed. Orton unloading on Legacy.
- Here's Shawn. Shawn looks like he's grudgingly going through his motions. Orton with a clean break? Fighting in the corner. Neckbreaker by Shawn. Orton powders. Shawn getting a little fire under him. Is Orton's mouth bleeding? 3.0. Orton is stomping Shawn down. This match isn't doing it for me. Orton dropkick. Fast forward chinlock. Sets Shawn up top. Uppercut. HBK fights him off. Elbow! Tuning up the band! Ducks the Superkick! HBK blocks the RKO! Inverted Atomic Drops! Forearm! Kippup...roll-up!!! Orton gets the pin!!
Winner: RANDY ORTON via pinfall (school boy)
- Elimination Chamber: SHEAMUS vs JOHN CENA vs TRIPLE H vs RANDY ORTON vs ? vs ?
- Shawn looks like he's about to snap. Throwing off the DX armbands. Temper tantrum Shawn.
- Another Bret-Vince package.
- WM promo. 55 days away.
- DiBiase apologizes to Orton. Orton won't even talk to him.
Elimination Chamber Qualifier
MARK HENRY vs TED DIBIASE
- Hmmm...Big Show vs Kofi as the main? Has Henry gotten bigger? Tie-up and toss Ted down. Shoulderblocks. Ted gets sent to the floor! DiBiase grounds Henry and works him over. Top wristlock right now. Huge clothesline drops Ted! Boot to Henry! World's Strongest Slam? No! DiBiase goes over the top rope with an arm breaker! Dream Street blocked! Single arm DDT! He wins clean!
Winner: TED DIBIASE via pinfall (single arm DDT)
- Wow. Clean?!?! Nice. Let the push begin?
- Elimination Chamber: SHEAMUS vs JOHN CENA vs TRIPLE H vs RANDY ORTON vs TED DIBIASE vs ?
- Kofi vs Show is the final qualifier.
- Jack Brisco tribute. Great tribute for a guy that was unknown in the modern era. Very classy.
- Kelly Hot Kelly is backstage with Gail Kim when Maryse walks up. Maryse is playing "nice". Maryse is trashing Mickie James and Michelle McCool's Smackdown angle? Hm?
- Miz and Big Show are backstage, hanging out. Why are they not letting Shatner in front of the live crowd?
- CM PUNK AND LUKE GALLOWS? Holy crap. SHAT. Wow. "Raw Match Negotiator."
- Miz and Show want a match with DX, Punk and Gallows want DX...Shatner deems that both teams get a shot next week! Shatner's now shilling Priceline.com and the Hollywood Horse Show. Nice...he wants a "Freeze frame" and both teams walk off because he's weird.
- HHH is trying to reach HBK backstage. Awww...Shawn is whining because he wants Undertaker.
Elimination Chamber Qualifier
KOFI KINGSTON vs THE BIG SHOW
- Miz is out as the match starts! Kofi uses his speed right off. Show slows him down...does The Miz have a laptop in front of him? Show hammers Kofi. Big knee by Show. Straddles himself on the top! Kofi dropkicks him out! Commercials.
- Show is dominating as we return. Kofi jawbreaker. Show cuts him off with the headbutt. Miz gets in Kofi's face. MVP attacks Miz from the crowd! Chasing him out of the ring area! Kofi drops Show's throat on the ropes! Kofi screws up going up top but tries to save it! Unloading with kicks! BOOM DROP!! Kickout! Kofi leaps...hammering Show...Show's going for a Choke Slam, Kofi's going to the eyes! Show punches the ref!!! Show's trying to wake the ref up!! We have a new ref...DQ!!!
Winner: KOFI KINGSTON by DQ
- Show's arguing! Kofi wins...and the crowd doesn't sound pleased.
- Elimination Chamber: SHEAMUS vs JOHN CENA vs TRIPLE H vs RANDY ORTON vs TED DIBIASE vs KOFI KINGSTON
- Show's just shy of threatening Steve Armstrong.
- Another McMahon-Hart package.
- Vince~! Is~! Walking~!
- NASCAR Driver Carl Edwards hosts next week as CM Punk & Luke Gallows and Miz & Big Show challenge DX.
- Lawler is in the ring to FINALLY bring out Shatner.
- Shatner falls onto Lawler getting into the ring. Doing an "I'm Okay" bit. Shatner is taking over...to bring out Bret Hart!
- Bret's back! Looks a LITTLE less like Raven.
- Bret says he's here to get in Vince's face, not play nice. Vince comes out acting scared...but then mocks Bret as he struts to the ring. Vince says he regrets nothing, Bret calls him the world's biggest liar. Bret mocks Vince's claims of "being like a father" to him. Starts talking about his stroke 8 years ago. Says he fought his way out of the wheelchair, and Vince knocked him back down a month ago. Great promo by Bret so far. He's threatening to kick Vince's ass! Vince is firing back, hitting Bret with all his taglines and nicknames. Says "The Best There Is..." is a crock. Says Bret's not a hero. Vince is saying he's never understood the big deal about Bret. Which...makes sense if you look back at the booking. Says Bret has no personality, and Bret was always boosted by who he faced. Says Bret has no charisma. No mic skills. Bashing Bret's face and hair. Vince is tearing him apart. Vince says Bret deserved to be screwed. Vince is now yanking the Stu Hart nomination for the Hall of Fame! Says Stu doesn't deserve to be in the Hall of Fame, and Bret explodes!! Beating Vince down!! Throws Vince's show at him! Batista!!! Batista attacking Bret!! Batista chant? Really? Batista is holding Bret! Spits in Bret's face!!! Cena chant as we go off the air.
- Nice show...is Cena going to be the one standing up for Bret again? I just PRAY the Vince doesn't legitimately screw Bret again.
Okay...so I called it on Mickie, and Sheamus...and nothing else. Miz beat MVP in an unscheduled match, but I am making my prediction NOW for WrestleMania: Christian remains champion until WM, where Zack Ryder beats him and "kills" ECW.
Of note: Edge returned last night and won the Rumble. HBK turned on Triple H, and Beth Phoenix entered the Rumble and eliminated Khali.
Tonight: Bret Hart returns as The Road To WrestleMania BEGINS!
- In memory of Oklahoma's own Jack Brisco. Rest In Peace.
- EDGE~!
- Mixed reaction? He had a solid babyface reaction last night, I hear. And apparently he was wrestling HEAVILY taped. Hopefully that doesn't come back to bite him. Not sure I want to see Edge as a face.
- Yeah, crowd's not giving him a full face reaction at all.
- Edge sounds a bit like a heel here...lets see how this plays out. Small "Edge, Edge, Edge" chant. Shouldn't this angle be on Smackdown? Edge is stumbling all over his words here.
- Dennis Miller joke.
- Anyone think that rushing back from an injury is a good idea for Edge?
- Edge needs a heel out here, fast.
- Edge vs UT, Streak vs Streak would be HUGE. Notice how Christian isn't even a WM option?
- Weak promo. I've never been an Edge hater, but I can't say he's thrilled me being back.
- Sheamus interrupts!
- Sheamus is getting a strong enough reaction, I think. Yeah...the crowd timing on boos is heel heat, not X-Pac heat.
- I think Cena's coming out. Maybe even Orton.
- Good, strong promo by Sheamus so far. Here comes the full face turn, I think. Careful, Sheammus...Edge IS fragile.
- Cheap shot! He's stalking Edge...takedown by Edge! They're going at it! Spear? Yuck...Edge has a crappy new tattoo on his forearm. But he does hit the spear.
- Elimination Chamber promo, as that is the next PPV.
- John Cena is WALKING! Tonight, Elimination Chamber qualifiers. Good call.
Elimination Chamber Qualifier
JOHN CENA vs CODY RHODES
- Legacy completely imploded last night. I expect Ted to interfere, but accidentally blast Rhodes. Either way, Cena is going on. Rhodes takes over right away. HUGE Cena chant. Cody getting a little amateur. Neckbreaker. Kneedrop...the camera accidentally caught that it missed. Flying shoulderblocks. Protobomb reversed into a roll-up! Protobomb! Five Knuckle Shuffle!! Rhodes fights out of the Attitude Adjustment. Wow! Release gourdbuster! Nice. Moonsault set up...hit! Lawler keeps calling Rhodes "Orton". ATTITUDE ADJUSTMENT!
Winner: JOHN CENA via pinfall (ATTITUDE ADJUSTMENT)
- Elimination Chamber: SHEAMUS vs JOHN CENA vs ? vs ? vs ? vs ?
- Every match tonight is a qualifier...I thought Maryse was facing Gail Kim tonight?
- Bret-McMahon package.
- Vince is backstage blowing off the idea that Bret will show. Someone's in the office with him...we're supposed to think it's Bret, but we're getting SHATNER~!
- YES! Pop for that.
- Shatner seems uncomfortable, which surprises me. Says he can't wait for Hart to embarrass Vince.
Elimination Chamber Qualifier
JACK SWAGGER vs TRIPLE H
- Ouch. Let the burial begin. Hunter seems to be lacking DX colors. Swagger takes Triple H down. Rolling him around the ring. Good heat for Swagger. Right cross! Knee offense! Clothesline over the rope! Commercials.
- Spin-around DDT by Swagger! Big elbowdrop. Legdrop. Abdominal stretch into a takedown. Triple H sends Swagger to the floor. Awkward spot getting back in the ring. Swagger slam on Triple H. Something's gone off the rails here. Triple H clearly callinng the audible here on Swagger. Vader Bomb gets knees! Hunter unloads. Knee offense! Spinebuster! Pedigree blocked! I want to like this match, but its just missing...something. I'm not sure who to blame. I hate to say it, but take it home, please. PEDIGREE!
Winner: TRIPLE H via pinfall. (PEDIGREE)
- Elimination Chamber: SHEAMUS vs JOHN CENA vs TRIPLE H vs ? vs ? vs ?
- Kofi, Orton and...DiBiase?
- Orton vs HBK is NEXT!
- The Shat?
- Shatner is backstage...doing dramatic readings of WWE lyrics! Starts with HBK! Awesome. Cena! Rey Mysterio! This is brilliant. Hilarious.
- HBK is sulking backstage. Triple H wants to talk...Hornswoggle is here. Triple H shoos him off. Triple H
isn't holding a grudge about last night, acknowledging that he would have done the same. Awesome. Triple H is trying to get Shawn to get into the Chamber so they can face each other at WM.
Elimination Chamber Qualifier
RANDY ORTON vs SHAWN MICHAELS
- Orton should go to TNA. Then I stop recapping TNA and its all good. Commercials before HBK comes out.
- WWE Rewind showing Rhodes costing Orton the match by getting him DQed. Orton unloading on Legacy.
- Here's Shawn. Shawn looks like he's grudgingly going through his motions. Orton with a clean break? Fighting in the corner. Neckbreaker by Shawn. Orton powders. Shawn getting a little fire under him. Is Orton's mouth bleeding? 3.0. Orton is stomping Shawn down. This match isn't doing it for me. Orton dropkick. Fast forward chinlock. Sets Shawn up top. Uppercut. HBK fights him off. Elbow! Tuning up the band! Ducks the Superkick! HBK blocks the RKO! Inverted Atomic Drops! Forearm! Kippup...roll-up!!! Orton gets the pin!!
Winner: RANDY ORTON via pinfall (school boy)
- Elimination Chamber: SHEAMUS vs JOHN CENA vs TRIPLE H vs RANDY ORTON vs ? vs ?
- Shawn looks like he's about to snap. Throwing off the DX armbands. Temper tantrum Shawn.
- Another Bret-Vince package.
- WM promo. 55 days away.
- DiBiase apologizes to Orton. Orton won't even talk to him.
Elimination Chamber Qualifier
MARK HENRY vs TED DIBIASE
- Hmmm...Big Show vs Kofi as the main? Has Henry gotten bigger? Tie-up and toss Ted down. Shoulderblocks. Ted gets sent to the floor! DiBiase grounds Henry and works him over. Top wristlock right now. Huge clothesline drops Ted! Boot to Henry! World's Strongest Slam? No! DiBiase goes over the top rope with an arm breaker! Dream Street blocked! Single arm DDT! He wins clean!
Winner: TED DIBIASE via pinfall (single arm DDT)
- Wow. Clean?!?! Nice. Let the push begin?
- Elimination Chamber: SHEAMUS vs JOHN CENA vs TRIPLE H vs RANDY ORTON vs TED DIBIASE vs ?
- Kofi vs Show is the final qualifier.
- Jack Brisco tribute. Great tribute for a guy that was unknown in the modern era. Very classy.
- Kelly Hot Kelly is backstage with Gail Kim when Maryse walks up. Maryse is playing "nice". Maryse is trashing Mickie James and Michelle McCool's Smackdown angle? Hm?
- Miz and Big Show are backstage, hanging out. Why are they not letting Shatner in front of the live crowd?
- CM PUNK AND LUKE GALLOWS? Holy crap. SHAT. Wow. "Raw Match Negotiator."
- Miz and Show want a match with DX, Punk and Gallows want DX...Shatner deems that both teams get a shot next week! Shatner's now shilling Priceline.com and the Hollywood Horse Show. Nice...he wants a "Freeze frame" and both teams walk off because he's weird.
- HHH is trying to reach HBK backstage. Awww...Shawn is whining because he wants Undertaker.
Elimination Chamber Qualifier
KOFI KINGSTON vs THE BIG SHOW
- Miz is out as the match starts! Kofi uses his speed right off. Show slows him down...does The Miz have a laptop in front of him? Show hammers Kofi. Big knee by Show. Straddles himself on the top! Kofi dropkicks him out! Commercials.
- Show is dominating as we return. Kofi jawbreaker. Show cuts him off with the headbutt. Miz gets in Kofi's face. MVP attacks Miz from the crowd! Chasing him out of the ring area! Kofi drops Show's throat on the ropes! Kofi screws up going up top but tries to save it! Unloading with kicks! BOOM DROP!! Kickout! Kofi leaps...hammering Show...Show's going for a Choke Slam, Kofi's going to the eyes! Show punches the ref!!! Show's trying to wake the ref up!! We have a new ref...DQ!!!
Winner: KOFI KINGSTON by DQ
- Show's arguing! Kofi wins...and the crowd doesn't sound pleased.
- Elimination Chamber: SHEAMUS vs JOHN CENA vs TRIPLE H vs RANDY ORTON vs TED DIBIASE vs KOFI KINGSTON
- Show's just shy of threatening Steve Armstrong.
- Another McMahon-Hart package.
- Vince~! Is~! Walking~!
- NASCAR Driver Carl Edwards hosts next week as CM Punk & Luke Gallows and Miz & Big Show challenge DX.
- Lawler is in the ring to FINALLY bring out Shatner.
- Shatner falls onto Lawler getting into the ring. Doing an "I'm Okay" bit. Shatner is taking over...to bring out Bret Hart!
- Bret's back! Looks a LITTLE less like Raven.
- Bret says he's here to get in Vince's face, not play nice. Vince comes out acting scared...but then mocks Bret as he struts to the ring. Vince says he regrets nothing, Bret calls him the world's biggest liar. Bret mocks Vince's claims of "being like a father" to him. Starts talking about his stroke 8 years ago. Says he fought his way out of the wheelchair, and Vince knocked him back down a month ago. Great promo by Bret so far. He's threatening to kick Vince's ass! Vince is firing back, hitting Bret with all his taglines and nicknames. Says "The Best There Is..." is a crock. Says Bret's not a hero. Vince is saying he's never understood the big deal about Bret. Which...makes sense if you look back at the booking. Says Bret has no personality, and Bret was always boosted by who he faced. Says Bret has no charisma. No mic skills. Bashing Bret's face and hair. Vince is tearing him apart. Vince says Bret deserved to be screwed. Vince is now yanking the Stu Hart nomination for the Hall of Fame! Says Stu doesn't deserve to be in the Hall of Fame, and Bret explodes!! Beating Vince down!! Throws Vince's show at him! Batista!!! Batista attacking Bret!! Batista chant? Really? Batista is holding Bret! Spits in Bret's face!!! Cena chant as we go off the air.
- Nice show...is Cena going to be the one standing up for Bret again? I just PRAY the Vince doesn't legitimately screw Bret again.
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Tommy's Take on: WWE Monday Night Raw 1/25/10
I didn't cover last week's Raw, (or any of last week's shows) but it did have some nice segments, including The Undertaker confronting Vince McMahon and Shawn Michaels about Bret Hart and the Royal Rumble respectively. Kofi Kingston and John Cena teamed up to defeat Legacy in a nice match, and HBK and HHH had some dissension over the Royal Rumble. DX still has not acknowledged that CM Punk and Luke Gallows are the #1 Contenders to the tag team titles, though.
- This week: Will Bret Hart return!?
- Guest host is some dude from Psych, because Cena is guest starring on their show. Apparently there was supposed to be two guys, but one needs an appendectomy. WWE is still claiming both will be here.
- DX is here! For a match? Jon Heder did a nice job last week as the heel Seth Green. Man...their intro takes forever. NICE! Hornswoggle is missing and HHH references it. HBK sent Hornswoggle home and gets booed. HBK and HHH having a stand-off about the Rumble. See, HHH wants the belt. HBK wants to face Undertaker at Wrestlemania again. Crowd is turning on HBK. HHH is cutting a great promo about the importance of the Royal Rumble. Very nice work. HHH says he will step on HBK's dream to get to his.
DX vs LEGACY
- I figure it had to be...there aren't any other tag teams on Raw. Both teams are falling apart...who falls apart first? DX is defending the belts against Punk and Gallows this Friday. Title change? HHH goes for a quick Pedigree on Rhodes, but DiBiase yanks him out of the ring. "Breaking news" about the guest hosts after the break...
- Back from the break and Rhodes and HHH are down...hot tag to HBK. HBK is hitting his signature spots. One guest host is down. Scoop slam and HBK goes up for the elbow. Rhodes slips out of the ring...HBK dives onto Legacy! Rhodes neckbreaker as HBK enters the ring! DiBiase in and he's on fire. Legacy double team. SWEET dropkick by DiBiase. Neither team is showing any dissension. OW. DiBiase just booted HBK in the head. Rhodes suckerpunches HHH and gets backdropped...but HBK can't tag! DiBiase with the Million Dollar Dream...HBK flying mares him out of it! Superkick? No, too low...HHH is in! Knee based offense! HHH destroys both men. Pedrigree on Rhodes? Blind tag! HHH and HBK having a stand off! Rhodes shoves HHH into HBK! Shawn goes to superkick Rhodes, catches DiBiase! HHH shoves HBK and nails Rhodes! Shawn gets the pin.
Winners: DX via pinfall (Superkick on DiBiase)
- Not bad...both teams showed some signs of breaking. Looks like Punk and Gallows will be winning the belts when DX dissolves this week.
- Sneak peek of the Cena on Psyche episode.
- MVP vs Big Show...NEXT!
- Last week, Big Show knocked out MVP when MVP was trying to get at The Miz.
MONTEL VONTAVIOUS PORTER vs BIG SHOW
- GAH. I don't need to hear MVP on the mic. The Miz comes out before Big Show does. I hope The Miz beats MVP when they do face off. Ha! "I'm not sure what straight up ballin' is" Awesome. I can't tell if Miz has heave spray on tan, or its just weird lighting. Awwesome. Prison rape jokes. Here comes Show looking big and nasty. Have fun, MVP. Sticking and moving, but Show gets ahold of him and the murder commences. Big chop that makes no sound. Miz is still in the aisle. Drive By kick in the corner! He runs into a choke slam!
Winner: BIG SHOW via pinfall (Choke Slam)
- Miz is trash talking MVP, Big Show isn't impressed.
- Apparently McMahon makes another decision yet again about Bret Hart tonight.
- Cody Rhodes sounds like such a sissy when he's acting all huffy. DiBiase is about to get in Cody's face when Orton interrupts. Orton's trying to play peacemaker...wait, no...he's bagging them out for losing to DX and not saving him from Sheamus. This stable is still such a charisma void.
- Cena is backstage with Dulay Hill, of Psych. Pimping Psych. Chris Jericho at the door? No, The Miz. HA! "I had to google your name to know who you are." The Miz is tremendous. Hill is putting The Miz in a match against a mystery opponent.
Divas Tournament Semifinal
MARYSE vs EVE TORRES
- UGH. Maryse is talking, too?!? Seriously...she's SO BAD in EVERY way. Now, the Mickie James segment from Friday was great. Pyros erupt, interrupting Maryse. NICE! Dulay Hill is in the pyro booth. His mic skills blow hers away. Here comes Eve...who, according to the graphic, no longer has a last name. Eek...Gail Kim vs Alicia Fox will also be on tonight. PLEASE let Eve win. She won't, but that would be great. This is off to a bad start. Eve did dropkick a little better this week. Ungraceful senton by Eve. Eve iis dominating. Missed a moonsault! French Kiss blocked! Northern Lights release! Kick out at two. FRENCH KISS.
Winner: MARYSE via pinfall. (FRENCH KISS)
- Ugh. That matchh was UGLY. And I CAN'T STAND Maryse...have I mentioned that?
- Mr. McMahon is heading to the ring!
- Recap of Undertaker interrupting Vince last week. Vince burying WCW and Bret all at once. Huge "We Want Bret!" chant. Vince reaffirms the "Bret is never coming back" bit. Vince is claiming its all just business. I assuming he's going to plants now. Vince is in the crowd! Interviewing fans, about Bret. Claims he hasn't heard a good reason. CENA!!! Here comes John Cena! Cena is standing up for the legends! Cena pointing out the Vince needed the legends to become a billionaire. Kind of a risky angle what with Linda running for Senate. Good...but risky. Cena's demanding Bret come back next week. HA!!! Cena says that if Vince doesn't, he's going to find him on his 90th birthday and knock his teeth down his throat. God, Cena is awesome. Vince caves! He's inviting Bret back next week! But he's Crossed The Boss. Cena vs Sheamus! That's supposed to be punishment? Its not like Cena's scared of Sheamus. I hope like Hell we're not getting a Montreal angle tonight.
- Great segment, thanks - in no small part - to John Cena.
THE MIZ vs KOFI KINGSTON
- Eek. Not sure either man can afford a loss right here. Apparently both men are in the Rumble. Basic start but Kofi sped it up until Miz kicked his head in. Miz has him grounded. Miz and DiBiase use the same running kick. Tacky. Miz looking dominant. Kofi slides through the ropes with a kick! Splash across Miz' back! Double neckbreaker by Miz! MVP's music hits! TROUBLE IN PARADISE!
Winner: KOFI KINGSTON via pinfall (TROUBLE IN PARADISE)
- Here comes MVP to taunt Miz!
- Carlito takes the host to the production truck so Carlito can kiss up to him. Hill randomly books Carlito into a match with...Kelly Kelly? Carlito's going to wrestle in street clothes!
CARLITO vs KELLY KELLY
- Carlito gets the jobber entrance. SANTINO! Kelly's just really kinda gorgeous. Santino tells her not to take another step. He's pimping the Best of Raw 2009 DVD. Santino wants to be taken seriously! Santino is replacing Kelly Kelly! Jack Swagger wipes out Santino! Bait and switch! Swagger throws Santino over the top! He's chasing Santinto the floor...head into the post! Swagger doing push ups over Santino. Swagger steps on Santino to walk away. The crowd hatred is building through the segment.
NO MATCH.
- Well, at least Carlito didn't have to job to Kelly Kelly. Good for him.
- Royal Rumble video package. Good package...acknowledging the history of the Rumble.
- I won't be watching the Rumble, but I'll do a Rumble preview.
- Other Psych guy is on speaker phone. Alicia Fox walks in...weird to see her sharing camera time with Cena. She's kissing up to Hill. Hill's predicting an Alicia win, and he's going to be her good luck charm. Hill's kinda funny with Cena.
Divas Tournament Semifinal
GAIL KIM vs ALICIA FOX
- Wrestling booking logic says Kim HAS to win, so that Maryse can take on a face. Kim with the jobber intro...but that means nothing this time. Fox is largely dominating. Kim with a sweet powerslam! Kim with her...finisher!
Winner: GAIL KIM via pinfall (FALLING BOOT)
- Alicia is throwing a fit all over Hill.
- Sheamus is WALKING!
SHEAMUS vs JOHN CENA
- Good power match. Sheamus has come a long way in carrying himself like a store. Ended in a predictable Orton run-in, when he RKOed Sheamus.
Winner: SHEAMUS via DQ
- Orton tried to use the elevated DDT on Cena, but Cena countered with the Attitude Adjustment to end the show.
- Raw continues to be much better than Impact, and steadier than Smackdown right now. I think I'm going to start rewatching Rumbles, just because.
- This week: Will Bret Hart return!?
- Guest host is some dude from Psych, because Cena is guest starring on their show. Apparently there was supposed to be two guys, but one needs an appendectomy. WWE is still claiming both will be here.
- DX is here! For a match? Jon Heder did a nice job last week as the heel Seth Green. Man...their intro takes forever. NICE! Hornswoggle is missing and HHH references it. HBK sent Hornswoggle home and gets booed. HBK and HHH having a stand-off about the Rumble. See, HHH wants the belt. HBK wants to face Undertaker at Wrestlemania again. Crowd is turning on HBK. HHH is cutting a great promo about the importance of the Royal Rumble. Very nice work. HHH says he will step on HBK's dream to get to his.
DX vs LEGACY
- I figure it had to be...there aren't any other tag teams on Raw. Both teams are falling apart...who falls apart first? DX is defending the belts against Punk and Gallows this Friday. Title change? HHH goes for a quick Pedigree on Rhodes, but DiBiase yanks him out of the ring. "Breaking news" about the guest hosts after the break...
- Back from the break and Rhodes and HHH are down...hot tag to HBK. HBK is hitting his signature spots. One guest host is down. Scoop slam and HBK goes up for the elbow. Rhodes slips out of the ring...HBK dives onto Legacy! Rhodes neckbreaker as HBK enters the ring! DiBiase in and he's on fire. Legacy double team. SWEET dropkick by DiBiase. Neither team is showing any dissension. OW. DiBiase just booted HBK in the head. Rhodes suckerpunches HHH and gets backdropped...but HBK can't tag! DiBiase with the Million Dollar Dream...HBK flying mares him out of it! Superkick? No, too low...HHH is in! Knee based offense! HHH destroys both men. Pedrigree on Rhodes? Blind tag! HHH and HBK having a stand off! Rhodes shoves HHH into HBK! Shawn goes to superkick Rhodes, catches DiBiase! HHH shoves HBK and nails Rhodes! Shawn gets the pin.
Winners: DX via pinfall (Superkick on DiBiase)
- Not bad...both teams showed some signs of breaking. Looks like Punk and Gallows will be winning the belts when DX dissolves this week.
- Sneak peek of the Cena on Psyche episode.
- MVP vs Big Show...NEXT!
- Last week, Big Show knocked out MVP when MVP was trying to get at The Miz.
MONTEL VONTAVIOUS PORTER vs BIG SHOW
- GAH. I don't need to hear MVP on the mic. The Miz comes out before Big Show does. I hope The Miz beats MVP when they do face off. Ha! "I'm not sure what straight up ballin' is" Awesome. I can't tell if Miz has heave spray on tan, or its just weird lighting. Awwesome. Prison rape jokes. Here comes Show looking big and nasty. Have fun, MVP. Sticking and moving, but Show gets ahold of him and the murder commences. Big chop that makes no sound. Miz is still in the aisle. Drive By kick in the corner! He runs into a choke slam!
Winner: BIG SHOW via pinfall (Choke Slam)
- Miz is trash talking MVP, Big Show isn't impressed.
- Apparently McMahon makes another decision yet again about Bret Hart tonight.
- Cody Rhodes sounds like such a sissy when he's acting all huffy. DiBiase is about to get in Cody's face when Orton interrupts. Orton's trying to play peacemaker...wait, no...he's bagging them out for losing to DX and not saving him from Sheamus. This stable is still such a charisma void.
- Cena is backstage with Dulay Hill, of Psych. Pimping Psych. Chris Jericho at the door? No, The Miz. HA! "I had to google your name to know who you are." The Miz is tremendous. Hill is putting The Miz in a match against a mystery opponent.
Divas Tournament Semifinal
MARYSE vs EVE TORRES
- UGH. Maryse is talking, too?!? Seriously...she's SO BAD in EVERY way. Now, the Mickie James segment from Friday was great. Pyros erupt, interrupting Maryse. NICE! Dulay Hill is in the pyro booth. His mic skills blow hers away. Here comes Eve...who, according to the graphic, no longer has a last name. Eek...Gail Kim vs Alicia Fox will also be on tonight. PLEASE let Eve win. She won't, but that would be great. This is off to a bad start. Eve did dropkick a little better this week. Ungraceful senton by Eve. Eve iis dominating. Missed a moonsault! French Kiss blocked! Northern Lights release! Kick out at two. FRENCH KISS.
Winner: MARYSE via pinfall. (FRENCH KISS)
- Ugh. That matchh was UGLY. And I CAN'T STAND Maryse...have I mentioned that?
- Mr. McMahon is heading to the ring!
- Recap of Undertaker interrupting Vince last week. Vince burying WCW and Bret all at once. Huge "We Want Bret!" chant. Vince reaffirms the "Bret is never coming back" bit. Vince is claiming its all just business. I assuming he's going to plants now. Vince is in the crowd! Interviewing fans, about Bret. Claims he hasn't heard a good reason. CENA!!! Here comes John Cena! Cena is standing up for the legends! Cena pointing out the Vince needed the legends to become a billionaire. Kind of a risky angle what with Linda running for Senate. Good...but risky. Cena's demanding Bret come back next week. HA!!! Cena says that if Vince doesn't, he's going to find him on his 90th birthday and knock his teeth down his throat. God, Cena is awesome. Vince caves! He's inviting Bret back next week! But he's Crossed The Boss. Cena vs Sheamus! That's supposed to be punishment? Its not like Cena's scared of Sheamus. I hope like Hell we're not getting a Montreal angle tonight.
- Great segment, thanks - in no small part - to John Cena.
THE MIZ vs KOFI KINGSTON
- Eek. Not sure either man can afford a loss right here. Apparently both men are in the Rumble. Basic start but Kofi sped it up until Miz kicked his head in. Miz has him grounded. Miz and DiBiase use the same running kick. Tacky. Miz looking dominant. Kofi slides through the ropes with a kick! Splash across Miz' back! Double neckbreaker by Miz! MVP's music hits! TROUBLE IN PARADISE!
Winner: KOFI KINGSTON via pinfall (TROUBLE IN PARADISE)
- Here comes MVP to taunt Miz!
- Carlito takes the host to the production truck so Carlito can kiss up to him. Hill randomly books Carlito into a match with...Kelly Kelly? Carlito's going to wrestle in street clothes!
CARLITO vs KELLY KELLY
- Carlito gets the jobber entrance. SANTINO! Kelly's just really kinda gorgeous. Santino tells her not to take another step. He's pimping the Best of Raw 2009 DVD. Santino wants to be taken seriously! Santino is replacing Kelly Kelly! Jack Swagger wipes out Santino! Bait and switch! Swagger throws Santino over the top! He's chasing Santinto the floor...head into the post! Swagger doing push ups over Santino. Swagger steps on Santino to walk away. The crowd hatred is building through the segment.
NO MATCH.
- Well, at least Carlito didn't have to job to Kelly Kelly. Good for him.
- Royal Rumble video package. Good package...acknowledging the history of the Rumble.
- I won't be watching the Rumble, but I'll do a Rumble preview.
- Other Psych guy is on speaker phone. Alicia Fox walks in...weird to see her sharing camera time with Cena. She's kissing up to Hill. Hill's predicting an Alicia win, and he's going to be her good luck charm. Hill's kinda funny with Cena.
Divas Tournament Semifinal
GAIL KIM vs ALICIA FOX
- Wrestling booking logic says Kim HAS to win, so that Maryse can take on a face. Kim with the jobber intro...but that means nothing this time. Fox is largely dominating. Kim with a sweet powerslam! Kim with her...finisher!
Winner: GAIL KIM via pinfall (FALLING BOOT)
- Alicia is throwing a fit all over Hill.
- Sheamus is WALKING!
SHEAMUS vs JOHN CENA
- Good power match. Sheamus has come a long way in carrying himself like a store. Ended in a predictable Orton run-in, when he RKOed Sheamus.
Winner: SHEAMUS via DQ
- Orton tried to use the elevated DDT on Cena, but Cena countered with the Attitude Adjustment to end the show.
- Raw continues to be much better than Impact, and steadier than Smackdown right now. I think I'm going to start rewatching Rumbles, just because.
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Tommy's Take on: WWE Monday Night Raw 1/11/10
- Alright...gonna try this again. Raw's guest host is Mike Tyson. The Diva's tournament continues. John Cena is back...not much else has been announced.
- Mike Tyson is the most awkward guest host...good lord. Nice "You screwed Shawn" chants. Sheamus to interrupt. I didn't even recognize his music. Tyson looks RIDICULOUS with that tattoo. Why's Tyson backing down from Sheamus? Nice fakeout on Sheamus! Randy Orton? This...is weird. Orton calls Sheamus on creating a "SportsCenter moment". Orton wants: A title shot. CENA! He's been MUCH missed in his week off. HA! "I came here to see Mike Tyson!" Cena's stealing Morrison's "accent mockery" angle. CENA WITH THE PUNCH-OUT REFERENCE!!! Cena for the win. Kofi! I booked Kofi as Sheamus' opponent in Extreme Warfare Revenge. Nice opening segment so far. Kofi points out he's never had a title shot. Crowd was chanting...something...Cena went "Rocco" on them. The smarks in the crowd are actually taking over. Weird. Sheamus wants the Rumble off. *Yawn* Triple Threat: Kofi vs Cena vs Orton! CENA BACK TO THE PUNCH-OUT! Awesome.
- Tremendous opening segment. I gotta imagine Kofi is winning...since Kofi-Sheamus can be on a Rumble PPV without taking buyrates, ala Lesnar-Holly.
- Promises of more McMahon-Hart developments.
- Cena's gonna be on Psyche.
Divas Championship Tournament
KELLY KELLY vs ALICIA FOX
- Gail Kim and Maryse are already in, this match is to face Gail Kim next week. Kelly is hot, and a little better than she gets credit for. Fox is overrated, in my view. Already said that Gail-Jillian got buried on Superstars and this is on Raw, but Kelly and Fox are considered hotter on the totem pole. My God! Kelly whips Fix over the ropes and to the floor, and then dives on her! Fox with a powerbomb out of nowhere!
Winner: ALICIA FOX via pinfall (Powerbomb)
- Decent. Kelly is getting better...one of the most athletic Divas and more attractive. But the heel going over was obvious with the announcement that the winner was facing Gail. I don't even know who's left to face Maryse. Eve and...?
- Cena Fiesta Bowl package.
- Ted DiBiase and Cody Rhodes here to talk. Legacy is talking about how they helped Orton win the Rumble last year. Rhodes and DiBiase already arguing over who's winning this year. DiBiase pimping his movie. Rhodes is trashing Cena's "Marine". Orton? Mark Henry! And Evan Bourne! What happened to Bourne and Primo?
LEGACY vs MARK HENRY & EVAN BOURNE
- All four men are already in the Rumble. What happened to Henry and MVP? Bourne is on ECW tomorrow. DiBiase and Bourne locking up. Bourne sure is good..and over for losing so much. They need to pull the trigger on this turn. Bourne is seperated and getting killed. Lawler sounds like he has a cold. Man...Bourne sells like a champ. Rhodes is just stalking Bourne. Big slam and a knee drop. Rhodes with a nice hammerlock/chinlock variation. Enzuigiri! Bourne trying to tag! Henry in! Rhodes is dying! Black man headbutt! Nails DiBiase! Gorilla press on Rhodes! Calling for the Shooting Star! DiBiase saves Rhodes! DiBiase sends Henry out! Bourne nails DiBiase! CROSS RHODES on Bourne! Legacy wins!
WINNERS: LEGACY via pinfall on Bourne (CROSS RHODES)
- Decent. Mostly just to advance the Legacy split.
- DX backstage! HBK is going to confront Tyson! This one is definitely being played for laughs, though. Nice...Triple H calls Tyson "the man that knocked (Shawn) out for four years)".
- ECW Homecoming for a shot at Christian, TOMORROW.
- HBK confronting Tyson backstage! Tyson looks miffed that HBK is touching him. Tyson shoots him down! Says he liked knocking Shawn out! Jericho! Jericho is back for, what I assume, is going to be his last Raw appearance...until the draft or big supershow. DX vs Jericho/Tyson! If DX loses, Jericho gets a "Brand-Free" pass. I...am shocked. Still gotta imagine Jericho's getting the suckerpunch.
- Hart/McMahon recap. I want to point out that the reason the Hart angle is better than the nWo angle is because WWE actually told everyone the relevant backstory, instead of assuming everyone knew it.
- Teasing "Retribution" tonight.
- Jack Swagger has taken over the ring. He apparently cut off an announcement from Cole and Lawler. Swagger is issuing an "over the top" challenge for tonight...Mark Henry's already been here. Big Show? SANTINO! Alllright. This should be funny. Ha! Santino was going to issue the same challenge.
OVer The Top Rope Challenge
JACK SWAGGER vs SANTINO MARELLA
- Swagger murderering Santino with bear hug charges. Vader bomb. Swagger is eliminating Santino...Santino holds on and takes Swagger over! Santino wins!
Winner: SANTINO MARELLA
- Swagger chases Santino off!
- Recap of Tyson meeting Austin and the pull apart.
- Oh, the big announcement is the DX tag match vs Jericho/Tyson.
- Triple threat is NEXT.
#1 Contender's Match
RANDY ORTON vs KOFI KINGSTON vs JOHN CENA
- Lawler bagging on Kingston for losing last week. Orton goes after Cena, gets clocked by Kofi. Double team on Orton! Kofi splashes Orton. They are stalking Orton. Orton powders...Cena gies after him, sending him to Kofi. Kofi throws Orrton out...stares down Cena! Here comes Sheamus! Orton attacks both men! Commercials.
- Orton with the ratings-killing chinlock. Apparently a lot of people last week flipped over from Angle-Styles multiple times to see Orton locking Kofi in a chinlock. Cena got taken out during the break. Coming back in and Orton with the elevated DDT. Cross body by Kofi gets two! Kofi in charge! Orton with the 3.0 but Cena comes alive! Misses a charge into the corner! Kofi SOS on Orton! STF on Kofi! Kofi is FIGHTING! Orton with the save! Cena shoulderblocks on Orton! Protobomb! Five Knuckle Shuffle! Cena wisely cuts his run down to avoid surprises from Kofi. Attitude Adjustment blocked by Kofi! Kofi on fire! Boom Drop! Trouble in Paradise knocks Cena out of the ring! Kofi pounces on Orton! Cody Rhodes attacks Cena! He's got the ref! DiBiase clips Kofi! Orton sizes up Kofi...RKO. Wow. Orton-Sheamus is the least compelling match I could imagine.
Winner: RANDY ORTON via pinfall on Kofi Kingston (RKO)
- Sheamus taunts Legacy from the ramp. Seriously...Kofi-Sheamus could have been interesting. Sheamus-Orton is about the most yawn-worthy match I could imagine.
- Hornswoggle is taunting Tyson. Tyson threatens to jump rope with Hornswoggle's intestines! Ha! Of course, the obvious swerve is Tyson clocks Jericho, is wearing a DX shirt, and buries the hatchet with HBK.
- Clips of MVP winning the US Title shot from last week.
- The Miz is backstage. The Miz is talking about how unwanted he was when he debuted. Telling a story about being banished for 6 months for "spilling crumbs" in a referee's bag. Mentioning JBL...mocking JBL. Nice...now he has a "private locker room". Mocking MVP. He's strolled from the backstage area to the arena. I have to admit...he's been brilliant since splitting from Morrison. Nice! Says MVP should still be in jail. "I'd rather you hate me for everything I am, then love me for something I'm not." Awesome delivery. Is he intentionally looking at the wrong camera? Great promo. Uh-oh. MVP interrupting...in an ugly suit. MVP making a nice promo about hard work and "earning" things. "Miz is awesome" chant. Wow. Miz strips down to his undershirt. Calls Miz a monkey. Hm. Imagine if Miz had been the one to say that. They are having a conversation about...flinging poo. MVP with an intense recap of his life in prison. Staredown. MVP throws the mix at Miz! MVP clobbers Miz! Drive By kick knocks him out of the ring!
- Very effective segment. Wow.
- Recap of last year's Hall of Fame event.
Divas Championship Tournament
EVE TORRES vs KATIE LEA BURCHILL
- Well...that explains that. GOD...Maryse on commentary. YUCK. Torres will be facing Maryse after beating Katie. Surfboards are awesome in Divas matches. Just saying. Not even talking about the match, talking about the Maryse-Miz angle. Katie looking great, but this match is a foregone conclusion. Maryse buries the match by talking about how boring it is. Screw you, Maryse. So Gail vs Maryse in the finals after all the interesting wrestlers were eliminated? Ugh.
Winner: EVE TORRES via pinfall (School Girl)
- Carlito is hitting on Gail Kim...Mr. McMahon! Next!
- GOD. REY vs BATISTA AGAIN. This time in a CAGE. MAKE IT STOP!
- Here comes Vince.
- "We want Bret", Vince ignores it. Vince says Bret is scared. Vince says he screwed Bret last week. "Boring" chant. Smarks? Vince bars Bret from the WWE...FOREVER. Short and sweet.
- Tyson and Jericho sparring backstage. Main event is NEXT.
- Don Johnson and Jon Heder next week? Good lord.
- If DX Loses, Jericho Gets A Free Pass
DX vs CHRIS JERICHO & MIKE TYSON
- I guess Big Show's working Superstars this week? This is an angle masquerading as a match, so Tyson can slug Jericho and reveal the DX shirt. I would have preferred a Jericho-HBK match ending in a Tyson screwjob ala WM. HBK is calling out 'Taker AGAIN. Wanting 'Taker to answer him on Raw next week! Hey, Shawn, just go win the Rumble. Then you can challenge UT for the belt. Duh. Tyson looks so out of place. Tyson and HBK to start? Tie ups and Tyson throws him off. Shoulderblock on HBK. Where's Masters? Superstars again? HHH and Tyson stare down! Tie ups...HHH refuses to back down. Big shove on HHH! Jericho tags in! Jericho getting made a bitch. Again. Several sunset flip reversals on HBK and Jericho. Tyson back in...Hornswoggle in a boxing robe! Jericho tags in...everyone in the ring...Tyson behind Jericho...here comes the KO. Yup...DX shirt. To his credit, Jericho sees it coming before happens. HBK pin.
Winners: DX via pinfall on Jericho (Tyson KO)
- HBK and Tyson hug. Jericho is selling it COMPLETELY dead.
- Not a bad show. A lot of annoying elements kept down, some strong promo work, especially from Miz and MVP. Bret is barred from WWE, so of course he'll be back next week. Orton vs Sheamus is the worst WWE Title match I could imagine, though.
- Mike Tyson is the most awkward guest host...good lord. Nice "You screwed Shawn" chants. Sheamus to interrupt. I didn't even recognize his music. Tyson looks RIDICULOUS with that tattoo. Why's Tyson backing down from Sheamus? Nice fakeout on Sheamus! Randy Orton? This...is weird. Orton calls Sheamus on creating a "SportsCenter moment". Orton wants: A title shot. CENA! He's been MUCH missed in his week off. HA! "I came here to see Mike Tyson!" Cena's stealing Morrison's "accent mockery" angle. CENA WITH THE PUNCH-OUT REFERENCE!!! Cena for the win. Kofi! I booked Kofi as Sheamus' opponent in Extreme Warfare Revenge. Nice opening segment so far. Kofi points out he's never had a title shot. Crowd was chanting...something...Cena went "Rocco" on them. The smarks in the crowd are actually taking over. Weird. Sheamus wants the Rumble off. *Yawn* Triple Threat: Kofi vs Cena vs Orton! CENA BACK TO THE PUNCH-OUT! Awesome.
- Tremendous opening segment. I gotta imagine Kofi is winning...since Kofi-Sheamus can be on a Rumble PPV without taking buyrates, ala Lesnar-Holly.
- Promises of more McMahon-Hart developments.
- Cena's gonna be on Psyche.
Divas Championship Tournament
KELLY KELLY vs ALICIA FOX
- Gail Kim and Maryse are already in, this match is to face Gail Kim next week. Kelly is hot, and a little better than she gets credit for. Fox is overrated, in my view. Already said that Gail-Jillian got buried on Superstars and this is on Raw, but Kelly and Fox are considered hotter on the totem pole. My God! Kelly whips Fix over the ropes and to the floor, and then dives on her! Fox with a powerbomb out of nowhere!
Winner: ALICIA FOX via pinfall (Powerbomb)
- Decent. Kelly is getting better...one of the most athletic Divas and more attractive. But the heel going over was obvious with the announcement that the winner was facing Gail. I don't even know who's left to face Maryse. Eve and...?
- Cena Fiesta Bowl package.
- Ted DiBiase and Cody Rhodes here to talk. Legacy is talking about how they helped Orton win the Rumble last year. Rhodes and DiBiase already arguing over who's winning this year. DiBiase pimping his movie. Rhodes is trashing Cena's "Marine". Orton? Mark Henry! And Evan Bourne! What happened to Bourne and Primo?
LEGACY vs MARK HENRY & EVAN BOURNE
- All four men are already in the Rumble. What happened to Henry and MVP? Bourne is on ECW tomorrow. DiBiase and Bourne locking up. Bourne sure is good..and over for losing so much. They need to pull the trigger on this turn. Bourne is seperated and getting killed. Lawler sounds like he has a cold. Man...Bourne sells like a champ. Rhodes is just stalking Bourne. Big slam and a knee drop. Rhodes with a nice hammerlock/chinlock variation. Enzuigiri! Bourne trying to tag! Henry in! Rhodes is dying! Black man headbutt! Nails DiBiase! Gorilla press on Rhodes! Calling for the Shooting Star! DiBiase saves Rhodes! DiBiase sends Henry out! Bourne nails DiBiase! CROSS RHODES on Bourne! Legacy wins!
WINNERS: LEGACY via pinfall on Bourne (CROSS RHODES)
- Decent. Mostly just to advance the Legacy split.
- DX backstage! HBK is going to confront Tyson! This one is definitely being played for laughs, though. Nice...Triple H calls Tyson "the man that knocked (Shawn) out for four years)".
- ECW Homecoming for a shot at Christian, TOMORROW.
- HBK confronting Tyson backstage! Tyson looks miffed that HBK is touching him. Tyson shoots him down! Says he liked knocking Shawn out! Jericho! Jericho is back for, what I assume, is going to be his last Raw appearance...until the draft or big supershow. DX vs Jericho/Tyson! If DX loses, Jericho gets a "Brand-Free" pass. I...am shocked. Still gotta imagine Jericho's getting the suckerpunch.
- Hart/McMahon recap. I want to point out that the reason the Hart angle is better than the nWo angle is because WWE actually told everyone the relevant backstory, instead of assuming everyone knew it.
- Teasing "Retribution" tonight.
- Jack Swagger has taken over the ring. He apparently cut off an announcement from Cole and Lawler. Swagger is issuing an "over the top" challenge for tonight...Mark Henry's already been here. Big Show? SANTINO! Alllright. This should be funny. Ha! Santino was going to issue the same challenge.
OVer The Top Rope Challenge
JACK SWAGGER vs SANTINO MARELLA
- Swagger murderering Santino with bear hug charges. Vader bomb. Swagger is eliminating Santino...Santino holds on and takes Swagger over! Santino wins!
Winner: SANTINO MARELLA
- Swagger chases Santino off!
- Recap of Tyson meeting Austin and the pull apart.
- Oh, the big announcement is the DX tag match vs Jericho/Tyson.
- Triple threat is NEXT.
#1 Contender's Match
RANDY ORTON vs KOFI KINGSTON vs JOHN CENA
- Lawler bagging on Kingston for losing last week. Orton goes after Cena, gets clocked by Kofi. Double team on Orton! Kofi splashes Orton. They are stalking Orton. Orton powders...Cena gies after him, sending him to Kofi. Kofi throws Orrton out...stares down Cena! Here comes Sheamus! Orton attacks both men! Commercials.
- Orton with the ratings-killing chinlock. Apparently a lot of people last week flipped over from Angle-Styles multiple times to see Orton locking Kofi in a chinlock. Cena got taken out during the break. Coming back in and Orton with the elevated DDT. Cross body by Kofi gets two! Kofi in charge! Orton with the 3.0 but Cena comes alive! Misses a charge into the corner! Kofi SOS on Orton! STF on Kofi! Kofi is FIGHTING! Orton with the save! Cena shoulderblocks on Orton! Protobomb! Five Knuckle Shuffle! Cena wisely cuts his run down to avoid surprises from Kofi. Attitude Adjustment blocked by Kofi! Kofi on fire! Boom Drop! Trouble in Paradise knocks Cena out of the ring! Kofi pounces on Orton! Cody Rhodes attacks Cena! He's got the ref! DiBiase clips Kofi! Orton sizes up Kofi...RKO. Wow. Orton-Sheamus is the least compelling match I could imagine.
Winner: RANDY ORTON via pinfall on Kofi Kingston (RKO)
- Sheamus taunts Legacy from the ramp. Seriously...Kofi-Sheamus could have been interesting. Sheamus-Orton is about the most yawn-worthy match I could imagine.
- Hornswoggle is taunting Tyson. Tyson threatens to jump rope with Hornswoggle's intestines! Ha! Of course, the obvious swerve is Tyson clocks Jericho, is wearing a DX shirt, and buries the hatchet with HBK.
- Clips of MVP winning the US Title shot from last week.
- The Miz is backstage. The Miz is talking about how unwanted he was when he debuted. Telling a story about being banished for 6 months for "spilling crumbs" in a referee's bag. Mentioning JBL...mocking JBL. Nice...now he has a "private locker room". Mocking MVP. He's strolled from the backstage area to the arena. I have to admit...he's been brilliant since splitting from Morrison. Nice! Says MVP should still be in jail. "I'd rather you hate me for everything I am, then love me for something I'm not." Awesome delivery. Is he intentionally looking at the wrong camera? Great promo. Uh-oh. MVP interrupting...in an ugly suit. MVP making a nice promo about hard work and "earning" things. "Miz is awesome" chant. Wow. Miz strips down to his undershirt. Calls Miz a monkey. Hm. Imagine if Miz had been the one to say that. They are having a conversation about...flinging poo. MVP with an intense recap of his life in prison. Staredown. MVP throws the mix at Miz! MVP clobbers Miz! Drive By kick knocks him out of the ring!
- Very effective segment. Wow.
- Recap of last year's Hall of Fame event.
Divas Championship Tournament
EVE TORRES vs KATIE LEA BURCHILL
- Well...that explains that. GOD...Maryse on commentary. YUCK. Torres will be facing Maryse after beating Katie. Surfboards are awesome in Divas matches. Just saying. Not even talking about the match, talking about the Maryse-Miz angle. Katie looking great, but this match is a foregone conclusion. Maryse buries the match by talking about how boring it is. Screw you, Maryse. So Gail vs Maryse in the finals after all the interesting wrestlers were eliminated? Ugh.
Winner: EVE TORRES via pinfall (School Girl)
- Carlito is hitting on Gail Kim...Mr. McMahon! Next!
- GOD. REY vs BATISTA AGAIN. This time in a CAGE. MAKE IT STOP!
- Here comes Vince.
- "We want Bret", Vince ignores it. Vince says Bret is scared. Vince says he screwed Bret last week. "Boring" chant. Smarks? Vince bars Bret from the WWE...FOREVER. Short and sweet.
- Tyson and Jericho sparring backstage. Main event is NEXT.
- Don Johnson and Jon Heder next week? Good lord.
- If DX Loses, Jericho Gets A Free Pass
DX vs CHRIS JERICHO & MIKE TYSON
- I guess Big Show's working Superstars this week? This is an angle masquerading as a match, so Tyson can slug Jericho and reveal the DX shirt. I would have preferred a Jericho-HBK match ending in a Tyson screwjob ala WM. HBK is calling out 'Taker AGAIN. Wanting 'Taker to answer him on Raw next week! Hey, Shawn, just go win the Rumble. Then you can challenge UT for the belt. Duh. Tyson looks so out of place. Tyson and HBK to start? Tie ups and Tyson throws him off. Shoulderblock on HBK. Where's Masters? Superstars again? HHH and Tyson stare down! Tie ups...HHH refuses to back down. Big shove on HHH! Jericho tags in! Jericho getting made a bitch. Again. Several sunset flip reversals on HBK and Jericho. Tyson back in...Hornswoggle in a boxing robe! Jericho tags in...everyone in the ring...Tyson behind Jericho...here comes the KO. Yup...DX shirt. To his credit, Jericho sees it coming before happens. HBK pin.
Winners: DX via pinfall on Jericho (Tyson KO)
- HBK and Tyson hug. Jericho is selling it COMPLETELY dead.
- Not a bad show. A lot of annoying elements kept down, some strong promo work, especially from Miz and MVP. Bret is barred from WWE, so of course he'll be back next week. Orton vs Sheamus is the worst WWE Title match I could imagine, though.
Monday, January 4, 2010
Tommy's Take on: WWE Monday Night Raw 1/4/10
Alright, I'm going to give this a shot. My stream of consciousness thoughts on Raw and Impact as they go head to head for the first time. This is notable as Bret Hart returns to the WWE for the first time in 12 years, and Hulk Hogan arrives in TNA. I'm not a huge fan of Bret, and I hate Hogan, but I'm morbidly intrigued. I'm handling Raw first because I honestly think that TNA will be the most...interesting...one way or another.
Announced for Raw:
Bret Hart Returns
Unified Tag Team Titles: DX vs Jeri-Show
Randy Orton vs Kofi Kingston
8 Diva Tournament for the Diva's Title starts tonight, since Melina vacated the title due to injury.
Here goes...
- We are LIVE from Dayton, OH and Ted DiBiase says that EVERYONE'S Got A Price.
- Bret Hart montage! Focusing entirely on his WWE career. You did know he went to WCW, right? Where Goldberg kicked him in the head and ended his career? Vince didn't screw Bret. Bret screwed Bret. Uh-oh, HBK is teasing somethig happening to Bret!
- Will Bret be a heel or face? The Hart Dynasty are supposed to be here tonight, and they are heels...
- Crowd already chanting "We Want Bret" and they are rolling out the red carpet for him. Nice. I like how Vince has treated Bret and Jesse Ventura. I'm calling an HBK as Bret swerve.
- Is...that him? Bret looks rough. But my goodness, they are giving him a great reception.
- I take that back...he doesn't look as rough in the close ups.
- "Well, I guess Hell froze over." Nice. Bret's telling us why he's here tonight. Storyline reason is that Vince kept shutting him down every time he tried to come back, apparently. Not sure that's the version I've heard.
- "Welcome Back!"
- Bret DID get the memo to address them as the "WWE Universe".
- This is touching, but I sure wish Vince or Shawn would show up already. Nice! Dredging up history with Lawler!
- CALLING OUT SHAWN! HBK and BRET!
- I call handshake. Shawn looks mildly repentant. Awesome. HBK will do super psychological storytelling here, I have no doubt. I'm not a huge fan of either, BUT the spectacle of this is nice.
- Bret's calling for a truce? Shawn has the mic.
- HBK's teasing heel stuff. Uh-oh. He went there. HBK says Bret screwed Bret! He's admitted culpability in his actions! And he has to be a face tonight against Jeri-Show! Now Shawn's face turning on it.
- Shawn's referencing the Iron Man Match. Awww. Shawn's putting Bret over now...awww.
- Please dear GOD let this be the end of The Montreal Incident once and for all.
- Hand shake! Hart Dynasty's jumping Shawn? Crowd seems skeptical about the hand shake. But they popped for it. No sneak attack yet. Shawn's teasing the Superkick now...HUG!
- Huh. Nothing screwy. Awesome.
- Uh-oh. Oh, he's calling out Vince!
- Vince is too scared to come out? Nice. Crowd is FURIOUS. Awww...we don't get the confrontation yet.
- Orton vs Kingston, DX vs Jeri-Show, nice double header with no Cena here.
- I liked the opener...very classy with Bret and Shawn, teasing the tension but letting both guys save face. Plus, we get get the tease for Bret vs Vince later on. Not a bad start.
- Hall of Fame teaser: Announcing Stu Hart already? Guess not.
- Josh Matthew trying to talk to Vince. Nice, Vince "didn't know" Bret called him out. He was at a meeting. Vince now threatens to call Vince out later. Why can't they either get a new play by play man for ECW, or a new backstage guy for Raw so Josh isn't doing both?
- BOOOO! Melina is injured...Cole and Lawler just announced it.
Divas Tournament Match
MARYSE vs The Bella Twins...I mean, BRIE BELLA
- I forgot the Bellas wrestled. I hate Maryse. I hate her on the mic, her movements look awkward and forced, and she's nothing special in the looks department. This is awful so far. Mostly some bad hair pulls and pushes. Nice flying mare form Brie. Um...Nikki Bella attacks Maryse on the floor? I thought Maryse was the heel? Maryse is really going to beat two Bellas. God this is sloppy. Bellas did the switch, but Maryse outsmarts them and DDTs Nikki. I hate Maryse and I hate that booking on so many levels.
Winner: MARYSE via pinfall on Nikki after switch with the FRENCH KISS.
- MIZ is here to interrupt Maryse! They remember their old angle. Nice. Miz tells Maryse he might "call her back" uf she wins. She's clearly into The Miz now that he's a champion. Miz and Maryse to form a new MnM? Miz is here to commentate for a Fatal Fourway for a US Title Shot.
- First two are out: MVP and SWAGGER. I don't like MVP, a lot...love Swagger, though, and not just because he's Oklahoman. Off to commercials before we see who's next.
- I have a Bowflex...never use it though.
#1 Contender to the US Title
MVP vs JACK SWAGGER vs CARLITO vs MARK HENRY
- Uh-oh. Carlito and Henry got jobber entrances as the match started during the break...Henry took a post during the break and Carlito is dominating MVP and Swagger. Nice tilt a whirl from Swagger. Swagger dominating MVP now, but Carlito breaks up a pin. Nice...MVP Tivos Raw. Swagger kills Carlito with a corner charge...but Henry's back in! MVP and Henry! Holy crap...MVP with a World's Strongest Slam to the floor on MVP...remember when they were partners? Henry uses Carlito's legs to take out Swagger! Bear Hug on Carlito! Swagger breaks it! Fireman's carry on Swagger...reverse torture rack? MVP with a yakuza on Henry! Kicks Henry out of the ring! Carlito accidentally nails Swagger! Playmaker on Swagger! I hate that move AND MVP! BOOOO!
Winner: MVP via pinfall on Swagger after PLAYMAKER
- Not bad...would have rather seen Swagger win and NOT take the fall. Carlito's the only one that looked like a jobber there.
- Jeri-Show talking backstage, production miscue kills the audio at first. Not what you need to do when TNA is on the other channel. Jericho's going to offer Bret a "deal"...PLEASE don't give us a repeat of Montreal tonight...PLEASE.
- Ted DiBiase is in Marine 2, did you know?
- Bret is being harassed by...someone...here comes Jericho. Awww...sharing fond memories about Jericho mastering the Walls of Jericho in the Dungeon. Jericho's trying to play on Bret's pent-up hatred against Shawn...and he's trying to get Bret to be the referee, and relive Montreal...but Bret shuts him down! Nice pink locker room. AW. Bret slams Jericho, calling him a hypocrite! And he says Jericho cried harder than anyone else in the dungeon. Awwww.
- Triple H and Hornswoggle pimping the new Mattel action figures, complete with Raw ring. Hornswoggle doesn't get to play with the toys until DX wins. Nice. Tension between DX as HBK is being serious and Triple H is being goofy. HA!! SANTINO IS JERICHO! HYPNOCRATS! Awesome!!!! Hornswoggle is the attack dog on Santino! That's funnier than it should be. Nice...Hornswoggle's a dog now. Wow. I think the audience was offended.
- DX vs Jerishow is NEXT! I can't imagine Kofi vs Orton is the main, so Bret-Vince must be.
- Isn't there a WWE champion on this show? Nearly an hour in, and no mention of Sheamus.
- Over 2 million females watch Raw last week! Good for them.
Unified Tag Team Title Match, if DX Wins, Jericho Is Off Raw For Good, Or Until SuperShows Or The Draft
DX( TRIPLE H & HBK) w/HORNSWOGGLE(c) vs JERISHOW (CHRIS JERICHO & THE BIG SHOW)
- Sure would like to see Jerishow win. Jericho on Raw and Smackdown each week makes them much better. Well...BREAK THE WALLS DOWN. Jerishow is the best use of Big Show in years. C'mon...give us Jerishow vs Edge & Christian at WrestleMania. Show and HBK to start, and Hornswoggle is under the ring. Chops in the corner, except Show can't touch Shawn. Headbutt! Blind tag by HHH...Show suplexes both men! Commercial break as DX bails...
- The Rock is The Tooth Fairy. The Rock needs to guest host Raw. I was watching Rock/Austin clips this weekend.
- More ECW Homecoming tomorrow.
- Back from the break and Jericho is dominating HHH. Show in, HHH fighting back. Big slam crushes HHH, and Show stands on him. Hogan legdrop on HHH! Only gets two...silly Show, you can't pin a guy with a LEGDROP. Is it me, or do Show's punches always look like they don't actually hurt? Jericho standing on HHH on the middle rope...and he's doing the Hogan ear thing to the crowd. Nice. Cobra clutch variation on HHH...SPINEBUSTER by HHH! Double down! Going to the hot tag already? Tag to Show...no...he's cutting off HHH. Big slam...Vader Bomb time. Spending a long time gloating...he misses! Hot tag rush again! Tag to HBK! Weakest chops ever! Tiny forearm! Two of them! Basement dropkick takes Show down! Nails Jericho! Shawn goes for the elbow...Jericho cuts him off! Hornswoggle crushes Show, which REALLY shouldn't hurt. Cover...huge kickout. Tuning up the band...Show catches him! CHOKESLAM! HHH is lurking...HBK kicks out?! Seriously? Jericho in...Lionsault gets the knees...no! Walls of Jericho! No, he kicks free! Tag HHH! Pedigree! Show in! Spiked Pedigree on Show! DX in...Jericho shoves HHH into Shawn! School boy gets two! Codebreaker, but Jericho can't cover! Both men down! Show and HBK down on the floor! Count is at five...cover...HBK breaks a pin! Hornswoggle's back in! JERICHO kicks his head off! Pedigree gets turned into the Walls...Sweet Chin Music! No! NO! DX wins!
Winners and STILL Unified Tag Team Champions: DX after HHH pins Jericho following the SWEET CHIN MUSIC.
- Nice match, crappy finish. Raw really didn't need to lose Jericho...=( DX vs Kane and Undertaker for a while now? I thought Shawn and HHH hated working Tuesdays?
- Show's getting in the ring, Jericho's still laid out. HHH is telling Jericho goodbye. Raw is worse for it. HBK looks bothered by it. Maybe not. Booo..."Suck it." Show looks like he's going to kill Jericho...but he walks away. Now Show becomes a big, boring goof again and Jericho feuds with R-Truth on Smackdown. Crowd singing "Goodbye" to Jericho. Jericho with a dramatic walk away, slumping at the entrance...DX music kicks in when he leaves.
- Someone at McMahon's dressing toom...McMahon's not looking down...Orton. Orton's going to offer to take Bret out for Vince...in exchange for a title match, I would assume. Nice...Bret "walked out". Hm. Vince is pondering Orton's offer to kick Bret's skull in...not for a title shot...but for the #30 spot in the Rumble. But Vince shuts him down? Orton walks up to Legacy...Rhodes and DiBiase are flipping the tables on Orton...if Orton doesn't beat Kofi, he's out of Legacy! NICE! I call Kofi winning, DiBiase attacking Orton and Rhodes turning on him.
- Mike Tyson is guest host next week! I would imagine there will be some interaction with DX?
- Sheamus/Cena video package...Sheamus up next? Here he is...the guy so pale he makes me regret retiring from wrestling.
- Sheamus with a promo instead of a squash?
- Yawn. He's not defending the belt until the Rumble, and he's not taking on Cena...hmmmm...who's a credible challenge?
Evan...Bourne? Um. Wow. Maybe it IS time to end the brand split. Ever notice how Sheamus is paler than The Undertaker? Bourne's calling out Sheamus. Wow. Bourne vs Sheamus? Squash it is. Cute...I just realized that Bourne stole the mic. Are we going to get a squash or the beginning of a mini feud?
Non-Title Match
WWE Champion SHEAMUS vs EVAN BOURNE
- "Little" Evan Bourne. I think we're really going to get a mini Bourne-Sheamus feud. Wow. If Bourne wins, he gets a shot at the Royal Rumble. Bourne dominating...Shooting Star! Sheamus kicks out. Broune goes up...Sheamus catches him...Scott Hall slam. Crowd is chanting "Cena"...I guess no one told them about the Fiesta Bowl. Crucifix Powerbomb. Nevermind. Thanks for coming, Evan.
Winner: SHEAMUS via pinfall after the OUTSIDER EDGE.
- Momentarily teased us with the Bourne win, which Sheamus couldn't have handled right now. Who's capable of challenging if Cena DOESN'T get the shot? Kofi?
- Michael Cole giving a mini tribute to "Dr. Death" Steve Williams. Classy. In Memory shot. I would have liked a video package, but they wouldn't have had any of his good footage. Still, thanks, WWE. As a Dr. Death fan, I appreciate that. I'm sure that was at least as much for Jim Ross' benefit as anything, but still.
- Batista vs Rey this Friday. I remember when I used to like Batista. Now I can't stand either one of them.
- Montreal Screwjob video package. Oh...the whole Bret video package again. Ah...in more detail, for those who aren't familiar. Not a bad idea.
KOFI KINGSTON vs RANDY ORTON
- Worth mentioning that I hate Orton, as well. Legacy is at ringside. DiBiase is a face by night's end. Does Blake Albright still do headlocks like Orton does? Kofi has some big leapfrogs. Stinger Splash! Orton clotheslined to the floor! Baseball slide dropkick! Kofi in control! Orton going for the hanging DDT, but Kofi blocks it and backdrops him to the floor! Going to commercials with Orton on the floor looking defensively at Legacy.
- Back with Orton locking on the side headlock. Holy crap...during the break, Orton shoved Kofi off the top to the barrier. Orton's dominating Kofi now, and Vince is up next to call out Bret. Hm. Kofi kicks Orton in the leg, but Orton barely sells it. He's back to beating Kofi down. Guillotine on the bottom rope! Ouch. Cody doesn't look impressed. Back to the headlock. Double down on a cross body block. Orton up first...Kofi with punches. HUGE dropkick! Kofi has some crazy jumps. Holy CRAP that was a big uppercut. Kofi's kinda cool. Kofi with his People's Elbow move...dive through the ropes on Orton! Legacy are up now...Kofi up top...cross body! Got two. RKO blocked! Cradle gets two! RKO blocked! Trouble in Paradise blocked! RKO! BOOO.
Winner: Randy Orton via pinfall after RKO.
- Cody looks like he's feigning disappointment, DiBiase looks legitimately disappointed. Not pulling the trigger yet? Good match...would have rather seen Kofi win.
- CM Punk and Mark Henry square off in the ECW Homecoming!
- Here comes Vince...
- No power strut tonight. At least seven minutes left. Aw. Vince wishes us a Happy New Year, and says he's not calling out Bret. Let's pray that the Montreal Incident really IS over. Tyson gets booed...nice. Here's Bret, no music! Hart Dynasty to lay out Bret? Vince backing off...ooh...Vince holding to the "Bret screwed Bret", but the crowd disagrees! Bret is pleased with Vince's mention of spitting at him and suckerpunching him. Bret's getting a mic. Bret's not saying "I'm Sorry". Bret's pushing for his own "I'm Sorry", I think. Vince is invoking Andre here...nice promo so far. The crowd sucks. Vince is putting Bret over pretty good here. Vince is announcing Stu for the Hall of Fame this year. Vince is totally setting up a screwjob...shaking Vince's hand. Kick to the nuts! "Thank You Vince" chants? Looks like Vince vs Bret for WrestleMania is on.
- Good Raw. It really wasn't incredibly loaded, either. Setting up some stuff for the run up to WrestleMania. Let's hope Impact was decent now. Disappointed that there was no Hart Dynasty, because I kept expecting them all night. Ah well.
Announced for Raw:
Bret Hart Returns
Unified Tag Team Titles: DX vs Jeri-Show
Randy Orton vs Kofi Kingston
8 Diva Tournament for the Diva's Title starts tonight, since Melina vacated the title due to injury.
Here goes...
- We are LIVE from Dayton, OH and Ted DiBiase says that EVERYONE'S Got A Price.
- Bret Hart montage! Focusing entirely on his WWE career. You did know he went to WCW, right? Where Goldberg kicked him in the head and ended his career? Vince didn't screw Bret. Bret screwed Bret. Uh-oh, HBK is teasing somethig happening to Bret!
- Will Bret be a heel or face? The Hart Dynasty are supposed to be here tonight, and they are heels...
- Crowd already chanting "We Want Bret" and they are rolling out the red carpet for him. Nice. I like how Vince has treated Bret and Jesse Ventura. I'm calling an HBK as Bret swerve.
- Is...that him? Bret looks rough. But my goodness, they are giving him a great reception.
- I take that back...he doesn't look as rough in the close ups.
- "Well, I guess Hell froze over." Nice. Bret's telling us why he's here tonight. Storyline reason is that Vince kept shutting him down every time he tried to come back, apparently. Not sure that's the version I've heard.
- "Welcome Back!"
- Bret DID get the memo to address them as the "WWE Universe".
- This is touching, but I sure wish Vince or Shawn would show up already. Nice! Dredging up history with Lawler!
- CALLING OUT SHAWN! HBK and BRET!
- I call handshake. Shawn looks mildly repentant. Awesome. HBK will do super psychological storytelling here, I have no doubt. I'm not a huge fan of either, BUT the spectacle of this is nice.
- Bret's calling for a truce? Shawn has the mic.
- HBK's teasing heel stuff. Uh-oh. He went there. HBK says Bret screwed Bret! He's admitted culpability in his actions! And he has to be a face tonight against Jeri-Show! Now Shawn's face turning on it.
- Shawn's referencing the Iron Man Match. Awww. Shawn's putting Bret over now...awww.
- Please dear GOD let this be the end of The Montreal Incident once and for all.
- Hand shake! Hart Dynasty's jumping Shawn? Crowd seems skeptical about the hand shake. But they popped for it. No sneak attack yet. Shawn's teasing the Superkick now...HUG!
- Huh. Nothing screwy. Awesome.
- Uh-oh. Oh, he's calling out Vince!
- Vince is too scared to come out? Nice. Crowd is FURIOUS. Awww...we don't get the confrontation yet.
- Orton vs Kingston, DX vs Jeri-Show, nice double header with no Cena here.
- I liked the opener...very classy with Bret and Shawn, teasing the tension but letting both guys save face. Plus, we get get the tease for Bret vs Vince later on. Not a bad start.
- Hall of Fame teaser: Announcing Stu Hart already? Guess not.
- Josh Matthew trying to talk to Vince. Nice, Vince "didn't know" Bret called him out. He was at a meeting. Vince now threatens to call Vince out later. Why can't they either get a new play by play man for ECW, or a new backstage guy for Raw so Josh isn't doing both?
- BOOOO! Melina is injured...Cole and Lawler just announced it.
Divas Tournament Match
MARYSE vs The Bella Twins...I mean, BRIE BELLA
- I forgot the Bellas wrestled. I hate Maryse. I hate her on the mic, her movements look awkward and forced, and she's nothing special in the looks department. This is awful so far. Mostly some bad hair pulls and pushes. Nice flying mare form Brie. Um...Nikki Bella attacks Maryse on the floor? I thought Maryse was the heel? Maryse is really going to beat two Bellas. God this is sloppy. Bellas did the switch, but Maryse outsmarts them and DDTs Nikki. I hate Maryse and I hate that booking on so many levels.
Winner: MARYSE via pinfall on Nikki after switch with the FRENCH KISS.
- MIZ is here to interrupt Maryse! They remember their old angle. Nice. Miz tells Maryse he might "call her back" uf she wins. She's clearly into The Miz now that he's a champion. Miz and Maryse to form a new MnM? Miz is here to commentate for a Fatal Fourway for a US Title Shot.
- First two are out: MVP and SWAGGER. I don't like MVP, a lot...love Swagger, though, and not just because he's Oklahoman. Off to commercials before we see who's next.
- I have a Bowflex...never use it though.
#1 Contender to the US Title
MVP vs JACK SWAGGER vs CARLITO vs MARK HENRY
- Uh-oh. Carlito and Henry got jobber entrances as the match started during the break...Henry took a post during the break and Carlito is dominating MVP and Swagger. Nice tilt a whirl from Swagger. Swagger dominating MVP now, but Carlito breaks up a pin. Nice...MVP Tivos Raw. Swagger kills Carlito with a corner charge...but Henry's back in! MVP and Henry! Holy crap...MVP with a World's Strongest Slam to the floor on MVP...remember when they were partners? Henry uses Carlito's legs to take out Swagger! Bear Hug on Carlito! Swagger breaks it! Fireman's carry on Swagger...reverse torture rack? MVP with a yakuza on Henry! Kicks Henry out of the ring! Carlito accidentally nails Swagger! Playmaker on Swagger! I hate that move AND MVP! BOOOO!
Winner: MVP via pinfall on Swagger after PLAYMAKER
- Not bad...would have rather seen Swagger win and NOT take the fall. Carlito's the only one that looked like a jobber there.
- Jeri-Show talking backstage, production miscue kills the audio at first. Not what you need to do when TNA is on the other channel. Jericho's going to offer Bret a "deal"...PLEASE don't give us a repeat of Montreal tonight...PLEASE.
- Ted DiBiase is in Marine 2, did you know?
- Bret is being harassed by...someone...here comes Jericho. Awww...sharing fond memories about Jericho mastering the Walls of Jericho in the Dungeon. Jericho's trying to play on Bret's pent-up hatred against Shawn...and he's trying to get Bret to be the referee, and relive Montreal...but Bret shuts him down! Nice pink locker room. AW. Bret slams Jericho, calling him a hypocrite! And he says Jericho cried harder than anyone else in the dungeon. Awwww.
- Triple H and Hornswoggle pimping the new Mattel action figures, complete with Raw ring. Hornswoggle doesn't get to play with the toys until DX wins. Nice. Tension between DX as HBK is being serious and Triple H is being goofy. HA!! SANTINO IS JERICHO! HYPNOCRATS! Awesome!!!! Hornswoggle is the attack dog on Santino! That's funnier than it should be. Nice...Hornswoggle's a dog now. Wow. I think the audience was offended.
- DX vs Jerishow is NEXT! I can't imagine Kofi vs Orton is the main, so Bret-Vince must be.
- Isn't there a WWE champion on this show? Nearly an hour in, and no mention of Sheamus.
- Over 2 million females watch Raw last week! Good for them.
Unified Tag Team Title Match, if DX Wins, Jericho Is Off Raw For Good, Or Until SuperShows Or The Draft
DX( TRIPLE H & HBK) w/HORNSWOGGLE(c) vs JERISHOW (CHRIS JERICHO & THE BIG SHOW)
- Sure would like to see Jerishow win. Jericho on Raw and Smackdown each week makes them much better. Well...BREAK THE WALLS DOWN. Jerishow is the best use of Big Show in years. C'mon...give us Jerishow vs Edge & Christian at WrestleMania. Show and HBK to start, and Hornswoggle is under the ring. Chops in the corner, except Show can't touch Shawn. Headbutt! Blind tag by HHH...Show suplexes both men! Commercial break as DX bails...
- The Rock is The Tooth Fairy. The Rock needs to guest host Raw. I was watching Rock/Austin clips this weekend.
- More ECW Homecoming tomorrow.
- Back from the break and Jericho is dominating HHH. Show in, HHH fighting back. Big slam crushes HHH, and Show stands on him. Hogan legdrop on HHH! Only gets two...silly Show, you can't pin a guy with a LEGDROP. Is it me, or do Show's punches always look like they don't actually hurt? Jericho standing on HHH on the middle rope...and he's doing the Hogan ear thing to the crowd. Nice. Cobra clutch variation on HHH...SPINEBUSTER by HHH! Double down! Going to the hot tag already? Tag to Show...no...he's cutting off HHH. Big slam...Vader Bomb time. Spending a long time gloating...he misses! Hot tag rush again! Tag to HBK! Weakest chops ever! Tiny forearm! Two of them! Basement dropkick takes Show down! Nails Jericho! Shawn goes for the elbow...Jericho cuts him off! Hornswoggle crushes Show, which REALLY shouldn't hurt. Cover...huge kickout. Tuning up the band...Show catches him! CHOKESLAM! HHH is lurking...HBK kicks out?! Seriously? Jericho in...Lionsault gets the knees...no! Walls of Jericho! No, he kicks free! Tag HHH! Pedigree! Show in! Spiked Pedigree on Show! DX in...Jericho shoves HHH into Shawn! School boy gets two! Codebreaker, but Jericho can't cover! Both men down! Show and HBK down on the floor! Count is at five...cover...HBK breaks a pin! Hornswoggle's back in! JERICHO kicks his head off! Pedigree gets turned into the Walls...Sweet Chin Music! No! NO! DX wins!
Winners and STILL Unified Tag Team Champions: DX after HHH pins Jericho following the SWEET CHIN MUSIC.
- Nice match, crappy finish. Raw really didn't need to lose Jericho...=( DX vs Kane and Undertaker for a while now? I thought Shawn and HHH hated working Tuesdays?
- Show's getting in the ring, Jericho's still laid out. HHH is telling Jericho goodbye. Raw is worse for it. HBK looks bothered by it. Maybe not. Booo..."Suck it." Show looks like he's going to kill Jericho...but he walks away. Now Show becomes a big, boring goof again and Jericho feuds with R-Truth on Smackdown. Crowd singing "Goodbye" to Jericho. Jericho with a dramatic walk away, slumping at the entrance...DX music kicks in when he leaves.
- Someone at McMahon's dressing toom...McMahon's not looking down...Orton. Orton's going to offer to take Bret out for Vince...in exchange for a title match, I would assume. Nice...Bret "walked out". Hm. Vince is pondering Orton's offer to kick Bret's skull in...not for a title shot...but for the #30 spot in the Rumble. But Vince shuts him down? Orton walks up to Legacy...Rhodes and DiBiase are flipping the tables on Orton...if Orton doesn't beat Kofi, he's out of Legacy! NICE! I call Kofi winning, DiBiase attacking Orton and Rhodes turning on him.
- Mike Tyson is guest host next week! I would imagine there will be some interaction with DX?
- Sheamus/Cena video package...Sheamus up next? Here he is...the guy so pale he makes me regret retiring from wrestling.
- Sheamus with a promo instead of a squash?
- Yawn. He's not defending the belt until the Rumble, and he's not taking on Cena...hmmmm...who's a credible challenge?
Evan...Bourne? Um. Wow. Maybe it IS time to end the brand split. Ever notice how Sheamus is paler than The Undertaker? Bourne's calling out Sheamus. Wow. Bourne vs Sheamus? Squash it is. Cute...I just realized that Bourne stole the mic. Are we going to get a squash or the beginning of a mini feud?
Non-Title Match
WWE Champion SHEAMUS vs EVAN BOURNE
- "Little" Evan Bourne. I think we're really going to get a mini Bourne-Sheamus feud. Wow. If Bourne wins, he gets a shot at the Royal Rumble. Bourne dominating...Shooting Star! Sheamus kicks out. Broune goes up...Sheamus catches him...Scott Hall slam. Crowd is chanting "Cena"...I guess no one told them about the Fiesta Bowl. Crucifix Powerbomb. Nevermind. Thanks for coming, Evan.
Winner: SHEAMUS via pinfall after the OUTSIDER EDGE.
- Momentarily teased us with the Bourne win, which Sheamus couldn't have handled right now. Who's capable of challenging if Cena DOESN'T get the shot? Kofi?
- Michael Cole giving a mini tribute to "Dr. Death" Steve Williams. Classy. In Memory shot. I would have liked a video package, but they wouldn't have had any of his good footage. Still, thanks, WWE. As a Dr. Death fan, I appreciate that. I'm sure that was at least as much for Jim Ross' benefit as anything, but still.
- Batista vs Rey this Friday. I remember when I used to like Batista. Now I can't stand either one of them.
- Montreal Screwjob video package. Oh...the whole Bret video package again. Ah...in more detail, for those who aren't familiar. Not a bad idea.
KOFI KINGSTON vs RANDY ORTON
- Worth mentioning that I hate Orton, as well. Legacy is at ringside. DiBiase is a face by night's end. Does Blake Albright still do headlocks like Orton does? Kofi has some big leapfrogs. Stinger Splash! Orton clotheslined to the floor! Baseball slide dropkick! Kofi in control! Orton going for the hanging DDT, but Kofi blocks it and backdrops him to the floor! Going to commercials with Orton on the floor looking defensively at Legacy.
- Back with Orton locking on the side headlock. Holy crap...during the break, Orton shoved Kofi off the top to the barrier. Orton's dominating Kofi now, and Vince is up next to call out Bret. Hm. Kofi kicks Orton in the leg, but Orton barely sells it. He's back to beating Kofi down. Guillotine on the bottom rope! Ouch. Cody doesn't look impressed. Back to the headlock. Double down on a cross body block. Orton up first...Kofi with punches. HUGE dropkick! Kofi has some crazy jumps. Holy CRAP that was a big uppercut. Kofi's kinda cool. Kofi with his People's Elbow move...dive through the ropes on Orton! Legacy are up now...Kofi up top...cross body! Got two. RKO blocked! Cradle gets two! RKO blocked! Trouble in Paradise blocked! RKO! BOOO.
Winner: Randy Orton via pinfall after RKO.
- Cody looks like he's feigning disappointment, DiBiase looks legitimately disappointed. Not pulling the trigger yet? Good match...would have rather seen Kofi win.
- CM Punk and Mark Henry square off in the ECW Homecoming!
- Here comes Vince...
- No power strut tonight. At least seven minutes left. Aw. Vince wishes us a Happy New Year, and says he's not calling out Bret. Let's pray that the Montreal Incident really IS over. Tyson gets booed...nice. Here's Bret, no music! Hart Dynasty to lay out Bret? Vince backing off...ooh...Vince holding to the "Bret screwed Bret", but the crowd disagrees! Bret is pleased with Vince's mention of spitting at him and suckerpunching him. Bret's getting a mic. Bret's not saying "I'm Sorry". Bret's pushing for his own "I'm Sorry", I think. Vince is invoking Andre here...nice promo so far. The crowd sucks. Vince is putting Bret over pretty good here. Vince is announcing Stu for the Hall of Fame this year. Vince is totally setting up a screwjob...shaking Vince's hand. Kick to the nuts! "Thank You Vince" chants? Looks like Vince vs Bret for WrestleMania is on.
- Good Raw. It really wasn't incredibly loaded, either. Setting up some stuff for the run up to WrestleMania. Let's hope Impact was decent now. Disappointed that there was no Hart Dynasty, because I kept expecting them all night. Ah well.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)